Hello All,

I am new to this forum and just learning how to use this site and looking for some advis and support.

My father was in a serious car accident, where he was t-boned right on the drivers side, back on September 20th, 2008 and still remains in ICU. He suffered multiple traumatic injuries including a broken neck (C4-C5) and back (T4), a broken shoulder, collar bone, hip, pelvis, femur and all of his rigs on his left side of his body. His diaphragm was detached from his body from the impact and his ribs ruptured his left lung. The seatbelt cut his intestines in half and part of his colon. It is a miracle that he has survived.

The doctors said that they were not optimistic that he would ever move again and labelled him an incomplete quad. He technically has no sensation below his nipple line but is able to supinate his right arm. The Resp. team did some sort of test where they sent electric shocks down his neck and his diaphragm show that the right side was normal and his left was responding borderline normal. He is now off the ventilator but suffers frequently from lung infections which keeps him in ICU.

My mom and I are physically and emotionally drained. We feel like it is getting harder and harder to go in everyday with a smile on our face, pretending that everything will be okay just to keep his spirits up. I guess my questions are:

1. How have some of you coped with this?
2. Six months seems to be a very long time in the hospital...what have your experiences been? Is there actually a light at the end of all this?
3. My father is dying to drink water but he still remains on a feeding tube and trached...when will he be able to have a sip of water?
4. He also has a pressure ulcer (it's been 5 months) on his tail bone, does anyone have any suggestions on any remedies that work?
5. How do we keep my father's hope and spirits up? He seems to be getting really down.

There are days where I cry my way home from the hospital and other days where I feel it's going to be okay. This has been such an overwhelming and surreal experience and would love to chat with others who have gone through this.

Thanks,

Maria Rosa

sorry to hear about your dad, i was injured sept. 21, 2002, i had 4 pressure ulcers, the worst one being on my tailbone and it's just a tough thing to heal, i spent 7 weeks on a roto-rest bed because they said that was the best thing for me, mine took 3 months to finally get good enough to where i could sit up. what my parents did was meet with the skin team that i was assigned and paid attention to what was supposed to be done, it ended up being that the nurses did not read the new orders so the wound was not being treated correctly, as soon as my parents intervened it healed rather quickly.

i personally didn't want my parents pretending that everything was going to be ok, i wanted to know the hard facts of what was going on, no matter how bad it was, but that's just how i deal with things. for keeping my spirits up my parents just brought a lot of my stuff to my room, i just wanted to be surrounded by my stuff. we also just looked to the future, we would discuss just how things were going to be different but tried to keep it simple and fun because we knew we were going through it together.

there is a light at the end, the sores do add a bunch of time to the hospital stay, as soon as i could sit up long enough to enter the rehab program i was there 6 weeks then released.

the water thing is tough, my parents were allowed to get a small sponge on a stick, dip it in water and kind of brush my teeth and gum's with it, it wasn't much but felt great.

to keep his spirits up and i would just say for you to let him know that you're there for him, knowing that your family is with you is pretty powerful

hope some of this helps

tmpch,

Thank you for responding. So sorry to hear about that. I am happy that you made it to rehab and that your sores have cleared. I just feel that the pressure ulcer is what is compromising my dad. He can't sit for more than 45 minutes. They can't do the swallow test. And he keeps on getting chest infections from always laying down and not being able to move around and get the secretions moving.

I am not sure where you are from or what your level of injury is but I only wish you all the best.

Thanks again,

Maria Rosa

Hi Maria!
I am so sorry about you dad, his injuries and his and yours suffering. You and your mom MUST stay strong and hopeful for him. Like tmcph said: "to let him know that you're there for him, knowing that your family is with you is pretty powerful"

I've spent 2 years in hospital! I was wounded in war in Sarajevo - Bosnia in 1994 and had tons of injuries (broken ribs, injured both lungs, stomach, L1&L2 etc.) and two organs removed (left kidney and spleen). Still have some bullet parts in my lung, stomach and some next to my right kidney. After first year spent in hospital, I got lung embolism and end up in ICU again fighting to stay alive. My family and friends were with me at all the time, day and night, and that itself gave me so much hope and strength to live that I can't even describe. First months I wanted to die. At night, when nobody could see me, I would cover my head and cry my eyes out. Finally I realized that life is so precious and short and I got to do the best I can to survive and live it with smile on my face.

Everybody is different, but I must say to you and your mom to never show sadness or pity in your eyes in front of him. Always smile and tell him that his is doing OK, that every day he will be better and better and that you guys are going to always be next to him and when ever he needs you.

Best whishes and good luck!

Yasko

Maria,

i remember when i got the ok to sit up; i had 15 min. increments of sitting for a couple days then we tried 30...45...1hr., it is just a slow process.

the chest secretions are another one of the things that just take awhile. i caught pneumonia a week after my surgery, i had breathing treatments and vacuuming secretions out every 30 mins. for at least a week, fortunately while i was on the roto-rest for my sore it kept me rotating back and forth that it really helped keep the secretions loose. after getting out of the roto-rest we continued to roll me from side to side to keep me off my back.

the body is in shock and has to recover. the swelling on my spinal cord right after injury left me with the movement, actually lack of movement, equivalent of a c-2, they were hoping i would be able to shrug my shoulders. as the swelling went down i regained movement and am now a c-5/6.

i may have rambled on, but recovery starts slow and gains momentum.

feel free to ask any questions you may have, like many other people on the forum, i'm here to help with whatever i can.

Hi

Keep up the good work encouraging dad, but you and mom have to look after yourselves too. This is the long road that we are all on and there are still lots of rocks and potholes ahead. So you need to pace yourself, a bit like a long distance runner ........ if you burn yourself out from trying too hard its not going to help him.
Be easy on yourself, have a good cry, take any offer of help, lifts, cooked meals etc that anyone offers. If someone asks what they can do to help, ask them to treat you and your mom to a massage or pedicure, or even an outing for coffee and cake. If you dont get that right a bubble bath with candles and chocolate helps a little.
People here do understand.... you are not alone.

V

Yasko...thank you so much for your reply. You are truly an inspiration. WOW two years!!! I can't imagine but know that both my mom and I will be able to take on whatever it takes to make my dad feel comfortable. My mom and I try our best to not show any sadness but it's very difficult...especially when he breaks down. I guess it's only normal for him to cry and it is good for him to let it all out.

tmpch...I've become very patient throughout this whole process. But I am also anxious to see what he will and will not be able to do in the future. I think he has accepted the fact that he may be in a wheelchair but is really hoping to get full use of his arms back. He seems to flip flop back and forth, one day he seems like he has accepted it fact and others, he seems to fear the fact that he may never be able to you his arms again. Did you complete a spinal rehab program? If so, is this when you regained most of your sensation and movement?

Sweeper...thank you so much. Everyone keeps telling us the same, that we must pace ourselves. It seemed very hard to adjust at the beginning. We would go to work all day then the hospital all evening. Now we feel adapted, it does not even phase us anymore. I just hope that we don't get burned out! My mom and I are starting to do a little bit more. We got tickets for Jersey Boys a few weeks ago and go out for coffee more often. We even took a day off of work to go to the spa for exactly what you said, manicure, pedicure and massage. It was much needed and deserved. But its had not to feel guilty. My mom broke out crying while we were at the show saying that my father would have really liked it and enjoyed it. It's just hard not to feel guilty.

On a positive note, they are moving my father out of Intensive Care tomorrow and into a regular ward. I hope that there won't be anymore setbacks and he makes it to rehab. I think that would totally bring his spirits up!!!

Thank you to all three for your help and advice.

i did complete a rehab program, 2 different therapies, i had physical therapy in the mornings & recreational therapy in the afternoons, i would say that i did get better movement, as my muscles became stronger and i learned how to use my arms. the 1st sign of movement was about 3 months into injury, i personally couldn't tell i was moving my right arm because i didn't have sensation in it yet, sensation got a little better a week or so after that and got even better after i was already home, probably 7 months or so after injury.

i saw where you said he has a c 4/5, a lot also depends also on a complete or incomplete injury. i'm a c 5/6 complete, so my spinal cord was severed, and i have good arm movement (full use of my shoulders & biceps with strong but not perfect wrist control), but don't have the use of my triceps or fingers.

so i think he should get arm movement but my guess is that he probably won't get 'full' use of his arms back, but the spinal chord is an amazing thing so you never know.

tmpch,

Thanks so much for your reply. My dad is a C4/5 incomplete. He started to regain movement about three months after his accident. Mhy main concern is his trach right now. He seems to be having difficulties with too much secretions. They are going to start corking him this week, my only wish is that he successfully makes it through this process. He is just dying for a glass of water and food. He is unable to go to rehab unless his trach is off.

Just wondering if you had any problems with the trach. I know that your injury was lower then my dads. My dad was on a ventilator for about 4 months and has been off for over three months.

Thanks again,

M.R.[color="#4B0082"][/color][size="4"][/size]

i wish i could help on the trach but can't, i didn't have one, my ventilator & food tubes were through my nose. after getting off the ventilator i did still receive breathing treatments & vacuuming of secretions every couple hours for around 3-4 weeks.

sorry i couldn't help, but there has to be a ton of people on here that dealt with a trach, hopefully they'll post on here any help for you

i don't understand why he cant rehab with a trach i did for about a month. It was only after they removed my trach that all my secretions stopped. Just know theres no way to explain what torture it is not to be able to drink i went 2 months it was worse than some of my injures were. Best wishes to you and yours

Hello All,

Well its been awhile since I've posted any updates. Thursday marked 11 months since my father's accident and he still remains in the hospital.

He has made some slight improvements, he can now slightly lift his left arm and can pull his right arm upto his neck. He has been corked for 4 months but the doctors do not want to risk removing the trach again.

Unfortunately, they tried to remove his trachea but had to reinsert it after two days since he had a build up of secretions. He has also had two swallow tests but has failed both.

The problem still seems to be that there is no rehab that will take him in Toronto. Westpark will take in trach patients but have to spinal cord program and Lyndhurst will take in spinal cord patients but will not admit patients with trachs. He is in need of a change of scene. He has been staring at the same walls for 11 months now with no food, no water and no real physio.

Has anyone tried the cough assist machine? He will never be able to eat if he is trach dependent. He doesn't need the trach to breathe but requires it for suctioning since his cough is too weak. I've done some research and found this machine on the net and would consider purchasing it for him if it means that they will remove his trach and be able to eat.

Any other advice would greatly be appreciated.

Thanks.

MR