Hi,

My husband is a T4 complete para. I realize that we most likely will not be able to have kids the natural way, but I'm wondering if anyone has been successful with invitro...just wanted to maybe hear a few success stories to give me hope!

Also, when is the best time to freeze sperm? I would assume it would be right away, but I'm not sure. It's been one month since my fiance's accident. We're going to try to get that done right away--any information about the general costs involved with the initial process of collecting and freezing it, and/or the costs of invitro altogether? I hear it's expensive...

Thanks!
--Amy

Hi Amy

Best of luck and fun for this significant journey you and your husband are on. I've taken that path and the rewards have been the highlights of my life.

Freeze whenever you can, the sooner the better but not neccessarily for quality, just for insurance. I was 16 years post injury when we got pregnant and finally put some frozen straws into the 'bank'. We didn't go invitro, we did AI, artificial insemenation. The semen was injected with a simple needless syringe. This is as hit and miss as the natural process and if at first it doesn't succeed, try try again.

Invitro is a much more expensive option as it involves clincians to inject the sperm directrly into the retrieved ovum which is then surgically inserted in the womb - a whole lot more complicated but at least you know an egg reached its mark.

Cost was irrelevant as in my country, New Zealand, it's covered by our state health system. You'll need to tell us which part of the world you are in as this is an international forum.

You say it's one month since your finance's/husband's accident. Wow. Take a break and relax a bit. I understand your need to have the facts now but there's plentry of time yet and you both have much on your plates to digest in the next few months.

They sell some special vibrator that Ive use before that you put it in the point of your penis and it vibrated and very quickly you ejaculate.Also I have ejaculated 2 times myself but it took alat of work but you should try the vibrator its a apecial vibrator for male with spinal cord injury I dont hvae one it youst experiment they had done on me in the miami project to see if I could still produce and yes I still do.

I wish I had some knowledge to pass on as far as paraplegic men and reproduction, but I have a feeling it is probably prudent to retrieve his sperm soon, even if it isn't used immediately. As a woman, the issue wasn't becoming pregnant, but the body does break down more quickly after a spinal injury. I had my children(both) within six years of my injury. I was very fortunate in that I had two very easy pregnancies and LOVED being pregnant. I don't think it would've been as uncomplicated if I had waited longer.

But I agree with nomis. A month after the injury? Give him time to adjust to his condition. It takes a while to realize that this is his new reality. He may decide he doesn't want children, at least right now. It is possible to have and raise children as a paraplegic, but, as adorable as babies are, they are another trauma. Get used to his first trauma before doubling up. My children grew up to be well adjusted, thoughtful people, but, right or wrong, I still have guilt because their mommy was 'different'. I couldn't make my marriage work. But I was given full custody of my children(which is testiment to the fact that even 'gimp' moms are better than boneheaded, able bodied dads(but I digress).

Extract and freeze the sperm, then, the two of you, relearn life in your new reality. Even the new one is really great. Learn about the less pleasant aspects of spinal injury(skin ulcers and how to prevent them, urinary and bowel issues etc) then when your baby comes, it will be a more blessed event for your husband. He'll know how to care for himself and he can enjoy caring for his baby rather than feel guilt that he doesn't know how to care for himself, let alone a helpless baby.

BTW, wheelies are a great way to rock a baby to sleep.