My name is Matt Clair and I retired from the US Navy in June 2006. In August 2007 I wrecked my motorcycle and became a c-6,7 complete. I have been reading allot of posts here and else where about people being angry and depressed about being the way they are. I am in no position to give advice or tell someone how they should live but I would like to share with you what works for me. I never look back to the point of dwelling on what used to be. I never let someone tell I can't or I never will be able to do some thing. I didn't let people do that before my wreck and I won't let them now. I set goals for myself and when I reach it I set another. I get excited when I figure out how to do the simplest things. As you know I have limited hand use. So I got excited just to be able to self cath or shave. For me it works if I don't think about doing things before but looking at things differently in order to figure a way to do it now. I used to be able to bench 300 pounds and I will again I just know it but for now I am happy to be able to lift a can of soda.

So for me and what might make life better for someone else is to be excited about the small things. Be happy to have the chance to do even the smallest thing for yourself. I think of life from my chair as a chance to solve some great puzzle and every piece I put together no matter how small is one more piece of life I get back.

The most important thing to me is to laugh and to make them laugh. Frustration, anger and sadness lead us to no where good. Learn from the things that caused the bad feeling and move on. Yes I still get moments of sadness and frustration but I don't want them to rule my life. Life is to short to waste by wallowing in self pity.

Don't be ashamed or scared to ask for help. There lots of people who have been where we are. If you can't figure it out someone will know how to do it. This way we don't have to give up as this would lead us to sitting in a corner being depressed with no where to turn.

I am not as high as you injury wise, and one thing that has helped me to keep my attitude right where you were talking about, is to be thankful that it is as low as it is. There is always someone in a worse scenario than me, so I dwell on that and that keeps me thankful instead of enjoying my own pity-party. I also have never been comfortable with big and gushy outflows of emotion, so I would rather have people laughing, then for them to be laying on my neck crying and saying how sorry they are for me. I am very happy and my life is good - even in a wheelchair and I want people to know that. Engulfing in their pity for me is not healthy either. They need to move on with me.

In dealing with any medical condition, a good attitude is hugely important. Whether it's something you have the chance to heal from or something you have to learn to live with, being able to find yourself in the situation and stay positive is essential. It's great that you are finding your way.

I do feel that venting can have a part to play in the process of staying positive though. I know there are times when just going AAAAAARRRRGGGHHH! can really help, provided the aim is to get something out of my system, and regain an even keel. I encourage friends to vent when I see they need to, and they let me get things off my chest when I need to. This forum can be a great place for that, especially because there's also plenty of people who'll call us out if we're getting too much into a downward spiral.

Welcome aboard.