My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. He has been a paralyzed since August 2005. Does anyone else notice mood swings, hatefulness and the ever rare spouts of happiness? I'm new on this site and I appreciate any advice/help I can get.

I think its very common with people in his condition.Be patient ,understanding and do not counter the moods .Let him express his feelings ,crying ,anger ,etc and you must be there for him and let him know that you are and will always be there for him.There is medically nothing you can do no matter how much pain and sympathy you may have for him.Whats important is that feeling that someone is by his side ,it reduces pain ,moods and depression.

thank you very much! I love him with all my heart and I will always be by his side. I'm glad that you responded to my post, I do not have anyone to talk to about this type of situation. Thank you

Mood swings are very common. My hubby has had an SCI since birth. He doesn't know any other life, yet he still has bad days.

You are in the right place to find answers, ideas and lots of support! Just keep pluggin' away and ask for help when you need it!

I'm sure none of us are happy 100% of the time; even able bodied people get mood swings so you can expect it from someone coming to terms with a disability.

You can be supportive, comforting and loving but don't let yourself become a martyr to them. Its obviously going to take time, if you've got the patience and he really cares for you, then he will sort things out for himself. At the end of the day, it has to be his choice.

Good luck

Not sure if what I'm about to say will sit well with the others as I do not frequent the site as much as I would like to, but I'm a believer that the human body can get chemically unbalanced. With this said, I'm also a believer that medications (whether it be prescriptive or non prescriptive alternatives such as vitamins or minerals) can be taken to help get it all back on track. I realize that your boyfriend may already take several medications whether it be for pain, spasms, blood pressure, etc, and the last thing he may want to do is even consider taking yet another medication...but it is possible that something along these lines could benefit him. I see it work with my husband. Overall, he has not gotten bitter about his injury and situation, but he does experience mood swings or anxiety from time to time. I don't know, it may be something to consider discussing with him?...

yep comes with the injury. i always ask him "are you in a mood?" which pretty much makes him mad he says but its my way of politely asking him whats wrong and if he is actually in one of those "moods" we all know they get in. however i think he oblivious to them. they come and go quiet quickly.

Hi,
I think it is something you will get use to over time, my wife knows when I’m getting grumpy.
Most of the time I really don’t notice I’m being a complete twat but she knows & she just gives me a wide berth for a couple of hours.

In the early days it was hard for her to accept but now its just another one of those things we live with.

She deserves a Medal CR...

Keep it down Scribb's, I know that but you tell 'em' what you trying to do to me

Was he in a car accident? Or, more forthright, was there head trauma along with his SCI?

Sometimes, other factors along those lines should be taken into consideration too.

And, as others mentioned, the newness of the injury. Over time things get easier, and so should his mood swings.

Hi everybody, I am new to this site and I hope I will contribute to the greater good of everyone here.

I am a paraplegic due to a tumor in my spinal cord. I experience a lot this kind of mood swings which is due, apart from the disability, to the lack of support from other, lack of confidence in future and so on.

I have a way to look at this. Indeed, if you look at life the way God made it you will notice that it is just a normal effect. Whenever we have a lot of money it comes something right after to take that money. When you win a gambling game you loose after that. Even the financial crisis experts consider it a "normal market correction" of the excessive profit made before the crisis. There is a kind of balance in life that makes everything changes back and forth. Otherwise we wont be able to see the contrast between pleasure and pain.

I still swing on the mood depending on each day circumstances. Still, I can assure you that if you can make him feel that you will always be there for him and with no matter what happens, it is already the big part of the solution. I am telling you this out of my experience. As the day will go, you find your way. ;)

Hey gurlie,

I feel your pain!! My guy has had battles with this as well. And We have had KNOCK DOWN DRAG OUTS because of them.

One of the things that has helped me is to try to keep a healthy perspective of what he may be dealing with. I dont mean you have to be a doormat...In fact my fighting back with him has helped pull him out of a lot of his inward battles.

But I know now that when he is in a lot of pain, he is going to be short with me...and when I have to be his "hands" during one of our household projects we really have to remind each other to have patience with the other one...

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it takes time to get into your own groove. You are still new to this as well.

I'm not gonna lie - It ain't for the faint of heart - or the weak in spirit! We still go at it...but don't all couples?! LOL!
Nat

My husband had a mood disorder even before his SCI, but it has grown markedly worse. The outbursts of cyncism and bitterness blasted at me were very hard to take at first... it doesn't really get any easier, it's like absorbing this huge cloud of poison and giving back a soothing balm in return. But if you are truly wanting to show him the love he needs, you just have to listen and really hear his pain and anger... he needs a good listener who does not judge or take his rantings personally. Build yourself up and strengthen your relationship on good days so that you know what is truly in his heart for you and you can bond even more because he knows he can trust you with his darkest feelings of rage and despair about his condition and you always come back to him. Be meek, gentle and forgiving and you will find that he will do the same for you... eventually he will learn to recognize what he is doing and will humbly come to you and express regret when he has overstepped, and let you know how much he appreciates your constancy of love and acceptance.

Sad but true, too many of us do not have that level of acceptance in our lives, whether disabled or AB.

The post prior to this mentioned it is not for the faint of heart. That is very true. It takes a great deal of commitment and inner strength to stand by someone who struggles with emotional problems - especially when it is so completely unpredictable.

I often just sit in the room with him quietly, reassuring him that I am there for him, even if he doesn't want to talk or he is too angry or depressed. I don't stare at him, or pressure him. I just do something else, like read or sketch, or just curl up and take a nap. It may seem foolish or a waste of time, but he is always assured of my love and acceptance because of my calm and unwavering demeanor. I cry to let it out sometimes when I am alone, I do something calming for myself like going to the shore of the lake and listening to the waves, or just sitting on the front porch and watching the rain pelt the leaves and drink my coffee, or if you're a spiritual person, I pray for help.

Hope this helps.

Ugh, my guys doesn't have em'...I do! lol

That's it.
And I mean THAT-IS-IT!!!

IF I HEAR ONE MORE WORD ABOUT MY GODDAMN MOOD SWINGS I'M GONNA SHIT TWICE AND THROW IT AT THE FIRST PERSON I SEE!

Whoa, calm down there big guy.
Deep breath.
And,
let it out.

OK. Personally I don't have mood swings. A swing would imply back and forth, like a child's swing at a playground.
What I have are mood Ferris wheels. Or maybe emotional carousels.
How about this? Think of a roller coaster with a "nitrous oxide system" on a track made of balsa wood tooth picks and chewing gum, designed by the three stooges after a thirty day cocaine and generic vodka binge. That's the kind cruise my moods take every day.

But then again, I never was all that "well adjusted" to begin with. Add a catastrophic life changing traumatic injury at age 50 and you then have a wonderful recipe for all kinds of "stability" issues.

What I tell...STOP JUDGING ME YOU GREASY PIECE OF SHI-(oops, stuff like that just sorta pops right out sometimes. See what I mean?) anyway, what I tell people is hey, I'm kinda angry on occasion. I can't help myself. Buck up, deal with it. Along with the psycho-anger filled morbidly obese nut case on wheels ya got me! E-dog. The coolest, most unbelievably bitchin boy who glides through life finding humor in the banal. Mirth in the madness. And profound depth within the confines of a shallow pool of piss warm subject matter not fit for a fool on financial aid.

Along with the good comes the bad. That's how life is. Hey Moe, hey Larry, ain't that right?

E-dog

Before Shep, there was E-Dog. eyyyyy, eyyyyy . . . . . woooop, wooOOOOP, WOOOOOOP!!!

Simmer down boy! We talked about those moods of yours ......ya don't want THAT solution at the vet's do ya? Just kidding.

Wow, E-Dog. Sometimes you can be so brutal, and other times freakin' funny...this is one of those times. I seriously had to fight hot, burning coffee from spewing out my nose...thanks for the laugh!

mood swings are common. with every one!

don't wake me up! I might not act so nice.



addressing the issue is good...

I have the same level of injury as your boyfriend and I believe my own moodswings will be a part of my life for some time to come. In the past I had trouble with my mood and took medication before my accident. I still take the medication but it doesn't work nearly as well- it would be rare for me to get angry before the accident- now small things can make me shout madly, like dropping something off my lap. Usually its just a shouted swear word and thats it but sometimes it lasts longer. I believe talking about how your feeling is, probably, the best way to go about it and if it is worrying then suggest a form of councilling, cognitive behavioural therapy would be the best as it would provide ways of dealing with the moodswings.