Alrighty then.

Here's the problem.
'Bout a year ago I made a rather substantial investment purchasing an HP inkjet printer to print out copies of fotos saved to files on my computer.

At a whopping 100 dollars, I thought this would be a lifetime investment, bringing me joy and happiness for years to come. Hey, I had to snatch not one but two purses from little old ladies to acquire the funds for said purchase and as I'm sure you know from your own experiences purse snatching in a manual wheel chair while weighing 350 odd pounds ain't easy work. I EARN my living.

But I got the job done and the old ladies were no worse for wear. In fact I convinced the two of them to have drinks with me later and we all ended up at a motel 6 for the rest of the weekend. But that's another story for another time.

Anyway, I save fotos from web sites to a file on the computer. I go to the foto I want printed, crop, maybe zero in on a particular area of interest and print it. 8.5" x 11"
The problem is, after 5-700 prints the printer takes a crap on me. Quits printing the black or the foto black ink and must be exchanged for another. This involves two to three hours on the fone to Calcutta being passed around from Habib to Achmed to who the hell knows who like a 2 dollar crack whore and when I'm done, by golly I feel like I've been serviced by a priapic bull elephant who REALLY likes his sex on the rough side.

So far? Four of the damn things. Just got the fifth about two weeks ago, and yup, yup, yup, she's already called it quits causing me to involuntary twice. From every orifice. From a rather robust fit of anger. So yeh. I think I've had enough of HP and anything that sounds like HP.

They know there's a problem but refuse to admit it. I tell some fool here in HP customer service that I couldn't possibly be the only person having this problem, but nooooo. They've never heard of this problem before.

OK. To my question. Finally.
What kind of printer should I get? Cannon, Epson? Some industrial behemoth on wheels the size of a small car? Keep in mind, what I know about computers and such would fit on the head of a pin, in triplicate so don't get too technical on me. I just need something economical to realize my creative dreams and embiggen my porn collection.

Any advice would be most appreciated and whom ever comes up with the most viable solution will win an all expense paid once in a lifetime dream vacation for one, plus the pet of his or her choice to beautiful Armpit, Mississippi. Home of the guy who once urinated in a bathroom stall right next to the next door neighbor of the sister of the man who tuned Liberace's piano. What a treat!
Just cover the plane fare and motel and food costs. I'll take care of the rest, including a beautiful tee shirt with Liberace's face embroidered on it for only 7.95. And don't worry about that pesky sales tax. It's on me!

Your input, put in promptly would in fact be most appreciated.

Your pal,

E-dog

Lexmark my friend, Lexmark.

Thats a long post to say that you need a printer E-Dog.

My mom uses her printer for real estate, so it should be fine for porn as long as you put in a color ink cartridge. LC 51 Brother printer. I'm not sure of any technical specs but it works fine with her Windows XP pro edition.

I found that injet printers aren't great for printing out photos b/c they don't really get hot enough to adhere the ink to the photo paper very well.

If you don't want to invest a lot of money into a laser printer and all the ink you'll need, just take your memory card to Walgreens or some place similar and print out the photos you want.

I have 2 HP all-in-ones and sometimes I copy pictures on them, but the quality isn't as nice as I would get on a machine at Walgreens. Look for coupons and get them really cheap.

Yes, but , uh... The Dog would also need a raincoat to stand in line at Walmarts.

On the bright side, he has probably blown up the photos so large that no one at the machine would immediately realize what they were, although he might get a reaction from someone standing off at a distance.

heh, heh.

-g

i'd say epson are the best, for the simple fact that new cartridges are very cheap to buy and they tend to last a long time. I have had lexmarks in the past, and each time it needed new ink it would have been cheaper to buy a new printer than to buy the ink lol.

It might be different in the US though

Hannah

It took a while before I bought one, having used Cannon, Epson and Lexmark in the past, but Sod's Law being what it is, I've never had a cheaper to run, nor more trouble-free printer than my current bog standard All-in-One HP.

I could not recommend Lexmark or Epson. Lexmark was just a bitch - constantly needing head cleaning, and the Epson leaked ink all over the place and damned silly counters on the cartridges that limited the number of copies. The Cannon wasn't so bad but turned its little inky toes up rather too soon for my liking.


As Hapa says, if you are looking for magazine quality prints, you are probably going to have to spend more and buy a laser colour. However, if your eyes are getting anything like as bad as mine have, that would be a total waste of money - but as you are still a callow youth this may not yet apply.

E-Dog,

I don't know what model of printer you have, but there is a chip inside the ink cartridges, which can cause problems.

You may be able to find a variation of this hack for your printer.

http://www.fixyourownprinter.com/forums/printer/33219

http://forums11.itrc.hp.com/service/forums...hreadId=1095185

The forums there may hold some idea's.

Good luck,

Simon.

I have the only one word to say to you friend of mine: DELL
http://www.dell.com/printers

I told ya E-DOG all that porn was over heating the print heads.......
Try setting the default paper to plain 8-1/2x11, it'll save ink and you won't notice the difference.....
My new Epson Astisan 700 is wireless, has individual ink colored cartridges and can print dvd's......
Photo quality blows Wal-Mart prints away.......

Jim

By gum, so many wonderful answers from so many wonderful people.
Screw it! We're ALL goin' to Armpit! On me!
Just cover the transpo' n' food. I've got a buddy there who'll let us crash on his floor for a few days. His wife's kinda bitchy but hey, that's what closets and duct tape are for.

We'll have us a blast and a half. There's a traffic light right in the middle of town! Such fun watching it go from green to amber to red and back again.
Then there's the bowling alley, course it's closed down now, but it's cool to drive past an' all.

And here's the kicker. Everyone gets a free Liberace T-shirt. Throw in 7.95 (to cover the enigmatic handling charge) and fear not, E-dog's got the tax.
Then if you have any money left over we'll head on over to the fillin' station for an ice cold soda pop. Co'cola fer me, thank you very much!

Every body get together and let me know when ya want to go and I'll set it up.
Mean time,. thanx for the help,

E-dog

Swear to god, E . . . .
I was on my third HP before completey giving up. The last one didn't feed the paper right. That's all. It grabbed several sheets at once, every time and just jammed.

I finally got a wireless Lexmark. Easiest setup EVER. I mean, the damn thing set itself up, practically, and all for UNDER $100. Well, I've seen 'em going for $70 now. And that's the scan, fax, print kind. Letting you know I feel your pain. And, those guys in Bombay really are nicer on the phone than the Mormon houswives in Utah. And, easier to understand, imo.

Will it do 8.5"x11" fotos in color nicely? And ink, cost effective?

It does print that size, although I honestly can't say how the quality is when enlarged, as I haven't done anything larger than 4x6. And black/ white only refills are $18.00. Probably double that for color and b&w. I'm sure there are other cartridge refill places on-line cheaper.

Hey E......BF says go with Kodak.

There are a couple of places you can go & get the stuff shipped to you & at often cheaper prices than the stores.
http://comgeeks.com/
http://www.tigerdirect.com/

It's all those sheep pix.......you BA-A-A-A-AD boy. Save yourself some time & just get some pamphlets from 4H club & FFA (Future Farmers of America).

Absolutely brilliant idea.
Free pamphlets from 4H club. You are a genius wee lee bee!
I'll jus' take 'em to kinky-o's and get 'em blowed up real big. Line the walls of my tent with 'em. Pour some warm crisco all over the waterbed an'...
E-dog? Remember what the shrink at the VA said?
Oh yea, don't talk about my fantasies, it scares people.
That's right.

Oh cabana boy! Another mojito please.

Everyone ready to party in Armpit?

E