Hi My husband is a recent c-4 quadraplegic. He has been home out of the hospital almost two months. We have a 7 year old and a 4 year old that I have to take care of too. I go back to work starting the 4th of October. I am in the military. I am a helicopter pilot and suppose to deploy in March. I just dont think I have it in me to do all of this and stay functional and to take care of my husband the way he needs to be. His brother is staying with us but is kind of lazy. So, I am scared. Any advice for me?

Good Lord, dear girl. Quite a plateful. Talk to your chaplain NOW and if he/she doesn't go into full time advocacy for you NOW, talk to someone else. There will be people at the base who want to help and you have to find them. You need an advocate at the base. No one could handle this by themselves.

You are in my prayers.

PWUFF

Thanks, they tell me that all I qualify for is 36 hours a month of respite care. Which we know is not enough and the woman at the hospital helping be knows that too. I see that you are from corning. I am originally from Prattsburgh, ny. There are days that I think I can't do this and my house is now starting to look like a mess and I just dont have the energy to do it all. thank you for keeping me in your prayers.

I read your post earlier and didn't quite know how to respond. I still don't, except to say you must be able to speak with someone there who can get you more help than is moderately acceptable. I mean, certainly your state has an agency for disability care, as well as your military base while you're deployed?

Go to the VA hospital and speak with their outpatient consultant regarding other methods of receiving funds.

My heart goes out to you and your family.

Thank you!! We don't qualify for the Va because it wasn't a service related injury, They have programs that offer more hours but they say we dont qualify because he doesn't need skilled nursing. I said I don't understand because he can't do anything for himself. When he was at the hospital at Vanderbuilt they told me that I would have to pay for someone to come in a take care of him all day. And they usually charge at least $18.00 an hour. I don't know how many people they think can afford that. But his parents are willing for him to go stay in Texas, but I don't think he wants to leave our home and I kinda don't blame him. I do appreciate your thoughts.