Hey everyone!

My daughter's best friend from high school was in a 4 wheel accident. He is alive by the grace of God with all the injuries he sustained. I'm pasting what his Mom wrote on his caring bridge page she has started up for him to give you an idea of what happened to him.

"Rob had a gate smack him across his chest breaking most if not all of his ribs, puncturing a lung leaving him breathless on the ground. One of his friend's was able to restore his breathing and keep him breathing until the first medics arrived on the scene. Rob was life-flighted from the accident location to a PA hospital where he was x-rayed and determined to be too critical to be treated there. Rob was then life-flighted to a Pittsburgh hospital which is the best hospital for spinal cord injuries in the area, if not the country. Once there, we were told that his skull had been disconnected from his neck (hanging on by tendons) and chances were high he would not survive. We were also told that no one suffering this extent of injuries had ever made it to the hospital alive. We were also told at this time that even if he did survive, the best we could expect was for him to be a quadraplegic and the only way he could ever communicate with us again was through eye blinks. And so the nightmare begins."

Update on what's happened since then....this happened last Sat. 9/5/09. He survived the surgery to remove the halo and have bolts placed in his neck. Shouldn't have made it thru that. Survived the next surgery to remove big tube from mouth and place a trach ? (spelling) in his neck. Upon waking from that he has showed VERY minimal feeling sensations on his body. He can move his mouth mouthing words and is REALLY frustrated cause he can't talk. :o/

My question is what can I do or say that will help him during this time? My daughter and I are going to see him this weekend. My daughter has seen him and knows what to expect. I've been around death with elderly family a lot, but never this type situation and I want to prepare myself the best I can so I can be a help to the family while we are there.

This young man is not out of the woods by any means and he is a fighter....obviously to have the injuries that he has and to be alive.

Any advice and ideas will be appreciated. I am making a small poster of pictures for him of his friends and will have it laminated and am planning on ticky tacking it to the ceiling for him to see daily. I feel he needs to see his friends and fam pics.

Thanks in advance. CJ

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter's friend, its truly a devastating situation. From what I've learned from our own situation, the best thing that anyone can do for him right now is just consistently show him that this accident has not changed how much you care for him, or the fact that you will be there to support him. He is going to need all the strength and love that he can get, as well as the reassurance that this accident, or his injuries, have not made him any less of a wonderful person than he always has been.