Hi all,
I wanted to clear something up about the big difference between body image and self image. First of all, as a 50 year old T-5 with scoliosis, who is now 28 years post injury, I feel like shit--and I'm constipated so I'm moody and drinking water.
I hear too many of us gimps hung up on body image or what we look like to others and ourselves. We may not like our body image now and we may not have liked it before of injuries. But body image, or appearance, is much different than self image, which consists of a person's substance and beliefs.
I may look like a fat belly fiddler crab in a wheelchair but I feel and project my self image to others and myself. I have an image of self that is very positive. My self image is of a very heroic, normal, hard working disabled person who is successful and content---by choice. I have accomplished things many people will never hae the opportunity to accomplish. I contribute to my community, I love, learn and live like everyone else.
I think I'm a pretty cool dude with a unique look-as all of you are unique. I'm no book and people who try to judge me from my cover will never have the opportunity to know me--they will only know what their eyes perceive. This might sound heavy but I think we can only see what matters with our eyes closed. In other words, human visual perception blocks out most of the visual spectrum so we only see enough to be able to survive. You-the self-consists of your beliefs, your consciousness and your conscious decisions. We all are unique and need to feel our beautiful self image because we have been given the opportunity to know the people who can't see our beauty, who won't talk to us because we are unattractive, are the ones living in the illusory material world of appearance--not substance. So I hope all you beautiful souls get past what your shape is, or weight is, or what you look like. It doesn't matter.
Scooby
What do you girls and boy think?
PS. E-Dog's touching (pun intended) words about the intimacy between our un-gloved fingers and being able to learn about our digestive health by actually feeling our stools, their consistency, and whether they are hard or soft, is an example of self image projection We do not think of E-Dog as a bowel obsessed shock trooper, and nor does he. He is obviously conveying his self image of confidence, directness, honesty and pride. After all, performing digital stimulation with a gloved hand reduces sensation making it more likely to injure one's bowels. The naked finger is much more gentle, like E-dog, and in the 21 Century we do have hand sanitizer and soap. Gloves are for appearances sake and sissies. Don't let the fact you stick you finger in your butt, have a big belly, can't pee when you want or other unique deformities affect your self image. Hell, I never thought I'd make it to 50 at one time so I am proud of every wrinkle, gray hair, scar, and every gift I was given when I lost my ability to stand erect, which made my body look pretty much like everyone else. Looking like everyone else is for cows and other heard animals. I, and all of you, are unique and full-fledged conscious and fully human individuals.
Full Version: Body Image V. Self Image
Quadriplegic & Paraplegic Spinal Cord Injuries > Disabled Living & Spinal Cord Injuries > Spinal Cord Injury Health Issues > Life Following SCI - Lifestyle Issues & Self Image
I really couldn't agree more with you. Well said.
Wow Scoob, can I quote you on some of that. Those are some wise words.
Welcome.
Welcome.
Right on, lose something gain something. Although a tough juice to squeeze it's definitley dramatically enlightening.
hi i'm new here and this is a topic i wrestle with daily. shit sorry- i have so much shit pent up in me i just totally broke down and now my keyboard is all wet! i have an unintrested husband and friends that are too busy for me or think i'm fine because i do a good job of acting ok. but in all actuality i've been stuffing all my feelings about life in a chair since 2004 i've developed some seriously toxic habbits to aid the forgetting, i'm seriously avoident of other disabled people (socializing means acceptance of my life as it is now) and alot of self hatred i need help. i don't know how to do this! I STILL REMEMBER ALL THE "BEFORE" STUFF!!!I WANT TO START MY LIFE AGAIN .i wanna stop worrying about being a good-gimp. I want it to be ok to have a bad day and not have people snicker that it cause of the chair. i don't even remember how to make friends. i'm so sick of being alone please can someone help me figure out how to do ... life. please
QUOTE (Scooby Gimp @ Sep 20 2009, 12:25 AM) 
Hi all,
I wanted to clear something up about the big difference between body image and self image. First of all, as a 50 year old T-5 with scoliosis, who is now 28 years post injury, I feel like shit--and I'm constipated so I'm moody and drinking water.
I hear too many of us gimps hung up on body image or what we look like to others and ourselves. We may not like our body image now and we may not have liked it before of injuries. But body image, or appearance, is much different than self image, which consists of a person's substance and beliefs.
I may look like a fat belly fiddler crab in a wheelchair but I feel and project my self image to others and myself. I have an image of self that is very positive. My self image is of a very heroic, normal, hard working disabled person who is successful and content---by choice. I have accomplished things many people will never hae the opportunity to accomplish. I contribute to my community, I love, learn and live like everyone else.
I think I'm a pretty cool dude with a unique look-as all of you are unique. I'm no book and people who try to judge me from my cover will never have the opportunity to know me--they will only know what their eyes perceive. This might sound heavy but I think we can only see what matters with our eyes closed. In other words, human visual perception blocks out most of the visual spectrum so we only see enough to be able to survive. You-the self-consists of your beliefs, your consciousness and your conscious decisions. We all are unique and need to feel our beautiful self image because we have been given the opportunity to know the people who can't see our beauty, who won't talk to us because we are unattractive, are the ones living in the illusory material world of appearance--not substance. So I hope all you beautiful souls get past what your shape is, or weight is, or what you look like. It doesn't matter.
Scooby
What do you girls and boy think?
PS. E-Dog's touching (pun intended) words about the intimacy between our un-gloved fingers and being able to learn about our digestive health by actually feeling our stools, their consistency, and whether they are hard or soft, is an example of self image projection We do not think of E-Dog as a bowel obsessed shock trooper, and nor does he. He is obviously conveying his self image of confidence, directness, honesty and pride. After all, performing digital stimulation with a gloved hand reduces sensation making it more likely to injure one's bowels. The naked finger is much more gentle, like E-dog, and in the 21 Century we do have hand sanitizer and soap. Gloves are for appearances sake and sissies. Don't let the fact you stick you finger in your butt, have a big belly, can't pee when you want or other unique deformities affect your self image. Hell, I never thought I'd make it to 50 at one time so I am proud of every wrinkle, gray hair, scar, and every gift I was given when I lost my ability to stand erect, which made my body look pretty much like everyone else. Looking like everyone else is for cows and other heard animals. I, and all of you, are unique and full-fledged conscious and fully human individuals.
I wanted to clear something up about the big difference between body image and self image. First of all, as a 50 year old T-5 with scoliosis, who is now 28 years post injury, I feel like shit--and I'm constipated so I'm moody and drinking water.
I hear too many of us gimps hung up on body image or what we look like to others and ourselves. We may not like our body image now and we may not have liked it before of injuries. But body image, or appearance, is much different than self image, which consists of a person's substance and beliefs.
I may look like a fat belly fiddler crab in a wheelchair but I feel and project my self image to others and myself. I have an image of self that is very positive. My self image is of a very heroic, normal, hard working disabled person who is successful and content---by choice. I have accomplished things many people will never hae the opportunity to accomplish. I contribute to my community, I love, learn and live like everyone else.
I think I'm a pretty cool dude with a unique look-as all of you are unique. I'm no book and people who try to judge me from my cover will never have the opportunity to know me--they will only know what their eyes perceive. This might sound heavy but I think we can only see what matters with our eyes closed. In other words, human visual perception blocks out most of the visual spectrum so we only see enough to be able to survive. You-the self-consists of your beliefs, your consciousness and your conscious decisions. We all are unique and need to feel our beautiful self image because we have been given the opportunity to know the people who can't see our beauty, who won't talk to us because we are unattractive, are the ones living in the illusory material world of appearance--not substance. So I hope all you beautiful souls get past what your shape is, or weight is, or what you look like. It doesn't matter.
Scooby
What do you girls and boy think?
PS. E-Dog's touching (pun intended) words about the intimacy between our un-gloved fingers and being able to learn about our digestive health by actually feeling our stools, their consistency, and whether they are hard or soft, is an example of self image projection We do not think of E-Dog as a bowel obsessed shock trooper, and nor does he. He is obviously conveying his self image of confidence, directness, honesty and pride. After all, performing digital stimulation with a gloved hand reduces sensation making it more likely to injure one's bowels. The naked finger is much more gentle, like E-dog, and in the 21 Century we do have hand sanitizer and soap. Gloves are for appearances sake and sissies. Don't let the fact you stick you finger in your butt, have a big belly, can't pee when you want or other unique deformities affect your self image. Hell, I never thought I'd make it to 50 at one time so I am proud of every wrinkle, gray hair, scar, and every gift I was given when I lost my ability to stand erect, which made my body look pretty much like everyone else. Looking like everyone else is for cows and other heard animals. I, and all of you, are unique and full-fledged conscious and fully human individuals.
QUOTE (simone @ Sep 25 2009, 09:11 AM)
hi i'm new here and this is a topic i wrestle with daily. shit sorry- i have so much shit pent up in me i just totally broke down and now my keyboard is all wet! i have an unintrested husband and friends that are too busy for me or think i'm fine because i do a good job of acting ok. but in all actuality i've been stuffing all my feelings about life in a chair since 2004 i've developed some seriously toxic habbits to aid the forgetting, i'm seriously avoident of other disabled people (socializing means acceptance of my life as it is now) and alot of self hatred i need help. i don't know how to do this! I STILL REMEMBER ALL THE "BEFORE" STUFF!!!I WANT TO START MY LIFE AGAIN .i wanna stop worrying about being a good-gimp. I want it to be ok to have a bad day and not have people snicker that it cause of the chair. i don't even remember how to make friends. i'm so sick of being alone please can someone help me figure out how to do ... life. please
QUOTE (Scooby Gimp @ Sep 20 2009, 12:25 AM)
Hi all,
I wanted to clear something up about the big difference between body image and self image. First of all, as a 50 year old T-5 with scoliosis, who is now 28 years post injury, I feel like shit--and I'm constipated so I'm moody and drinking water.
I hear too many of us gimps hung up on body image or what we look like to others and ourselves. We may not like our body image now and we may not have liked it before of injuries. But body image, or appearance, is much different than self image, which consists of a person's substance and beliefs.
I may look like a fat belly fiddler crab in a wheelchair but I feel and project my self image to others and myself. I have an image of self that is very positive. My self image is of a very heroic, normal, hard working disabled person who is successful and content---by choice. I have accomplished things many people will never hae the opportunity to accomplish. I contribute to my community, I love, learn and live like everyone else.
I think I'm a pretty cool dude with a unique look-as all of you are unique. I'm no book and people who try to judge me from my cover will never have the opportunity to know me--they will only know what their eyes perceive. This might sound heavy but I think we can only see what matters with our eyes closed. In other words, human visual perception blocks out most of the visual spectrum so we only see enough to be able to survive. You-the self-consists of your beliefs, your consciousness and your conscious decisions. We all are unique and need to feel our beautiful self image because we have been given the opportunity to know the people who can't see our beauty, who won't talk to us because we are unattractive, are the ones living in the illusory material world of appearance--not substance. So I hope all you beautiful souls get past what your shape is, or weight is, or what you look like. It doesn't matter.
Scooby
What do you girls and boy think?
PS. E-Dog's touching (pun intended) words about the intimacy between our un-gloved fingers and being able to learn about our digestive health by actually feeling our stools, their consistency, and whether they are hard or soft, is an example of self image projection We do not think of E-Dog as a bowel obsessed shock trooper, and nor does he. He is obviously conveying his self image of confidence, directness, honesty and pride. After all, performing digital stimulation with a gloved hand reduces sensation making it more likely to injure one's bowels. The naked finger is much more gentle, like E-dog, and in the 21 Century we do have hand sanitizer and soap. Gloves are for appearances sake and sissies. Don't let the fact you stick you finger in your butt, have a big belly, can't pee when you want or other unique deformities affect your self image. Hell, I never thought I'd make it to 50 at one time so I am proud of every wrinkle, gray hair, scar, and every gift I was given when I lost my ability to stand erect, which made my body look pretty much like everyone else. Looking like everyone else is for cows and other heard animals. I, and all of you, are unique and full-fledged conscious and fully human individuals.
I wanted to clear something up about the big difference between body image and self image. First of all, as a 50 year old T-5 with scoliosis, who is now 28 years post injury, I feel like shit--and I'm constipated so I'm moody and drinking water.
I hear too many of us gimps hung up on body image or what we look like to others and ourselves. We may not like our body image now and we may not have liked it before of injuries. But body image, or appearance, is much different than self image, which consists of a person's substance and beliefs.
I may look like a fat belly fiddler crab in a wheelchair but I feel and project my self image to others and myself. I have an image of self that is very positive. My self image is of a very heroic, normal, hard working disabled person who is successful and content---by choice. I have accomplished things many people will never hae the opportunity to accomplish. I contribute to my community, I love, learn and live like everyone else.
I think I'm a pretty cool dude with a unique look-as all of you are unique. I'm no book and people who try to judge me from my cover will never have the opportunity to know me--they will only know what their eyes perceive. This might sound heavy but I think we can only see what matters with our eyes closed. In other words, human visual perception blocks out most of the visual spectrum so we only see enough to be able to survive. You-the self-consists of your beliefs, your consciousness and your conscious decisions. We all are unique and need to feel our beautiful self image because we have been given the opportunity to know the people who can't see our beauty, who won't talk to us because we are unattractive, are the ones living in the illusory material world of appearance--not substance. So I hope all you beautiful souls get past what your shape is, or weight is, or what you look like. It doesn't matter.
Scooby
What do you girls and boy think?
PS. E-Dog's touching (pun intended) words about the intimacy between our un-gloved fingers and being able to learn about our digestive health by actually feeling our stools, their consistency, and whether they are hard or soft, is an example of self image projection We do not think of E-Dog as a bowel obsessed shock trooper, and nor does he. He is obviously conveying his self image of confidence, directness, honesty and pride. After all, performing digital stimulation with a gloved hand reduces sensation making it more likely to injure one's bowels. The naked finger is much more gentle, like E-dog, and in the 21 Century we do have hand sanitizer and soap. Gloves are for appearances sake and sissies. Don't let the fact you stick you finger in your butt, have a big belly, can't pee when you want or other unique deformities affect your self image. Hell, I never thought I'd make it to 50 at one time so I am proud of every wrinkle, gray hair, scar, and every gift I was given when I lost my ability to stand erect, which made my body look pretty much like everyone else. Looking like everyone else is for cows and other heard animals. I, and all of you, are unique and full-fledged conscious and fully human individuals.
Simone,
I think many of us have been through the same feelings and have somehow been spat out the otherside!!! i always found the company of other crips helped because they generally understood what you are goin thro.
I recall all to well feeling miserable and down and suicidal at times but for me the turning point was sitting down and identifying the things i hated, things i couldnt do any more and all my fruustrations. THEN i looked at ways to "overcome, adapt and survive". Yeh its a load of "touchy queery crap" but it helped me alot. I am now 10years post injury and still have bad days but generally life is pretty fine.
I may have missed the point of the original post here. But just wanted respond to Simones sentiments.
Regards
Robbo
QUOTE (simone @ Sep 25 2009, 03:11 AM)
hi i'm new here and this is a topic i wrestle with daily. shit sorry- i have so much shit pent up in me i just totally broke down and now my keyboard is all wet! i have an unintrested husband and friends that are too busy for me or think i'm fine because i do a good job of acting ok. but in all actuality i've been stuffing all my feelings about life in a chair since 2004 i've developed some seriously toxic habbits to aid the forgetting, i'm seriously avoident of other disabled people (socializing means acceptance of my life as it is now) and alot of self hatred i need help. i don't know how to do this! I STILL REMEMBER ALL THE "BEFORE" STUFF!!!I WANT TO START MY LIFE AGAIN .i wanna stop worrying about being a good-gimp. I want it to be ok to have a bad day and not have people snicker that it cause of the chair. i don't even remember how to make friends. i'm so sick of being alone please can someone help me figure out how to do ... life. please
Simone,
First, a little background on me for you. I was an ass before my injury, and I'm still an ass. I'm usually blunt to the point that some think I'm an evil bastard. I also have a low bullshit tolerance, which doesn't go well with the bluntness and jackass attitude...lol. I've been this way for a lot longer than I've been in a chair. Since injury, I've actually had some ABs tell me that they understand my frustration given my "condition"... Sadly, my frustration was only due to the fact that they're IDIOTS and/or liars, not because of the chair or the injury.
No matter what you say or do, there's always going to be ignorant ABs that blame any negative feelings you have on the chair. It doesn't matter that the chair isn't at fault, that's just the way the ignorant see it. It's just like when a girl cries and some ignorant stranger guy blames it on her being a girl, not realizing that she's not crying cause she's a girl, but she's crying cause her mom died. What I'm saying is, you can't solve the ignorance or stupidity of everybody else (especially not strangers) on your own. It doesn't make a shit what others think when they look at you, it matters what YOU think. You can't control the actions of others. The ONLY person's actions you can control are your own (one of the things a wise member here told me). Besides, the only ones whose opinions matter already know you, and strangers' opinions don't matter.
What you have to learn is to find ways of having fun with what you still have.When you catch somebody looking at you weird, make a funny face at them. The reaction value is priceless! I drive a fairly tall pickup, so I get some funny looks getting in and out the truck. I'm saving up for a motorcycle (2 wheels, not 3), and in big part for the reaction value I'll get when people see me riding with the chair strapped on the tail fairing. Another thing- Go out to a bar or club, and get up on a barstool. Always works. You can't hate yourself forever. It will destroy you if you let it. If this stuff has been going on that long, you might also think seriously about professional help. I know it sounds bad to you, and it did to me, but I saw a shrink when I was AB. It helped me a lot. Just remember that your mental and emotional health are worth doing anything for. Whatever it takes.
Feel free to PM me.
JAX
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