Hi Everyone,

I am a medical technologist in the field of Cancer Care. One of our doctors had an accident 2.5 months ago and as a result has a complete C5 injury. He has yet to be weaned from the vent successfully and is still in ICU. I am compiling a scrapbook of messages and photos from our staff here (the family has requested no visitors from work yet) and was wondering if you could help.

I am wondering what words you needed/wanted to hear from the people in your lives after your injury?

What do you wish you knew just after your injury that you know now?

Are there any quotes, poems, stories, scriptures, etc that you found encouraging?

I feel very strongly about supporting this gentleman and his family and appreciate any advice you may have.

More than anything I just needed to know everyone would stick by my side as I came to terms with myself.. Through my fits, personal attacks, and days of isolation knowing they would still be there after I calmed down always helped.

Genuine laughs always made me feel a little closer to sanity as well...

The initial fear. Knowing that the physical state you're in more than likely will remain the same for the rest of your life can be horrific.
Just knowing friends and family will be there through it all as a support system can be very comforting. As ches said, he's going to go though a lot of emotional turmoil. Anger, depression etc. If those who really care about him can overlook this and stick by him, the stability it brings him will be of great value.

My friends made me 2 large collages of our fun times together, and of things I specifically like and enjoy.

The scrap book that your making is EXACTLY what the doctor ordered. You can't do much better than that.

If there were some favorite family vacations he went on or some place he really enjoys to get away from it all, try including some pages of that in your scrapbook.

That life would settle down and go one to be a pretty normals, and at times boring life much like everyone else s.

I wanted to hear I would get better. I wanted to hear that things were not permanent. What do I wish I knew just after my injury I know now? Thats a tough question I dont think I can answer. Are there any quotes, poems, stories, scriptures, etc that I found encouraging?

This gladiator motivation clip - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKiW3DH_Ih8

Here is some advice I can give you : I have been paralized for 3 years now and have not had one single day of physical therapy. I have had nobody to take me to therapy, or take care of me. Ive realized that nobody can make me get better. If someone wants to get better they need to believe in themselves. We cannot expect anyone to just fix us. If we are lucky enough to have help we should put everything into the recources we have and opportunities given to us. With that said motivation is the key to success. Without constant motivation, faith, and confidence it will be difficult for a person to get better. I have had no personal trainers, equipment, or even advice on how I could recover from my situation. For the past 3 years I have been moving what I can, when I can. I have experimented with my body so I could get better. Everyday, sometimes all day. My back muscles began to work 4 months after constantly moving my torso from side to side. It took me 1 year of constant exersise and practice after that to start crawling. Took me another year to be able to crawl as far as I can now, forward and backward. I am 3 years into my injury and am currently working on getting my lower stomach to function normally. Everybody's situation is differant. Nobody knows who is going to get what back at what speed. I sometimes tell myself "If im getting better like this with no help, physical therapy or equipment can you imagine how much better I would be if I did?" But that is not a proper way of looking at it. Mabey if I had those recources I would'nt get better because god knows I am the type of person that needs to do it on my own. If doc wants to get better he should move what he can, when he can, as much as he can, untill he cant anymore. If he does that I promise he will see results. It might take months. But his body will start to regain function. It just depends on how long he can go without giving up. When he gives up. His body will too. Hope this helps.

-Johnny

I wanted to hear "do you want me to roll you one?" j/k
Actually, I kind of hope that somebody will wake me up from this bad dream! Cuogh, cough......

Thank you so much for all of your responses. They have given me a good sense of the direction I need to take my own message to my friend and have reassured me that I am doing something of significant value. I really appreciate your honesty and insight and plan to pass this website along to my friend and his family. I hope that he/they will be able to garner some strength from the experiences of those who have gone before him. Again, my sincerest thanks.

I wonder if he is aware that his family requested no visitors from work. He might be wondering why no-one is visiting him.

The scrapbook is a great idea, but I would ask the family to re-consider THEIR request as i think visitors from work and hearing about all the goings on might just be the tonic he needs on the road to recovery and coming to terms with his new life.

I completely agree with Angela. Family is there to support, and you know they are there. Visits from friends (work and outside) can boost spirit, it was nice to know that some one other than my family care about me. Scrap book is a great idea.

Yeah it should be his choice if he gets visitors or not. If he is conscious & mentally there enough to do the blink for yes & no bit he can at least have some company & seeing as you guys are all medical personnel it isn't as though you'all haven't seen urine bags & vents before. It is a major roller coaster to ride but it's always less scary with someone holding your hand. Things to make him laugh. Yeah we all wanted to hear someone tell us it was just a bad dream.......but if someone had told us that......they'd have lied. It's early on......maybe he will have some recovery......maybe he wont; just my opinion as someone who has been living with the effects of SCI for nearly 2 decades, better to be happily surprised at some return of function than to have hopes raised only to even more disappointed & upset by things not turning round.

Being a doctor will be good in the long term but he probably knows too much for the short term. He will learn as he goes to adapt. I was in pre-med when I had my accident. I finished in cytology/pathology and have worked in public health and ultrasound/radiology labs. I am now retired and post injury 48 years. Short term he needs injury stabilization then extensive rehab including counseling for anger management.
I disagree with his parents decision and HE should be in control of his environment. Visits from all my friends was important to my morale in the acute stage. What are they going to do now that he is injured, hide him away. He still will have opportunities to use his education and experience to the benefit of others.

Thanks again for your responses. I think I will talk to his family and him when I deliver the scrapbook and see if they would be open to visits from us staff. I absolutely agree that he needs them; we see it every day with our patients - the stronger the support network, the easier it is to manage such a huge life change.

I really hope that he and his family will make use of this website too, or one like it, as being part of a community makes dealing with stuff like this a little less scary. The internet has been such an incredible tool for people dealing with health and life issues.

Thanks again everyone!

It's also good to make everyone stays around too. When I was in ICU I had tons of supports, but once rehab was over and I was back home there was noone there. Pretty lonely time then.