Let's hear 'em, good and bad. Here's 1 some genius i knew was never able to figure out why it didn't work;

"I think yer a pretty good looking woman, but then again i'm pretty drunk"

Is that a bottle of Windex in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

Look her in the eye and ask her:

"Did you just fart?"

"NO!"

"Damn, I knew something was missing!"

(cir. 1980)
I've got a quarter ounce of Peruvian flake and some Quaaludes on my bedside table. You ready to go?

"Your eyes are as beautiful as the ocean and I'm lost at sea"

"I'm a bad shooter cause I miss you always"

"I hear you're good at algebra, can you substitute my X?"


Some good replies:

Man : “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman : “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”

Man : “Your place or mine?”
Woman : “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”

Man : “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman : “I’m a female impersonator.”

Man : “What sign were you born under?”
Woman : “No Parking.”

Man : “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”
Woman : “Do not Enter”

Man : “I can tell that you want me.”
Woman : “Ohhhh. You’re so right. I want you to leave.”

Man : “I would go to the end of the world for you.”
Woman : “Yes, but would you stay there?

As long as I've got a face baby, you've got a place to sit.

"Hey, I'm mr. Right, someone said you were looking for me?"

I am half Irish.

I have heard this one works but I doubt it.

Male: Do you have any Irish in you?

Female: No.

Male: Would you like some?

"Do you have spanners in your eyes? Coz every time I look in them my nuts tighten."

Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again?

What has 150 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only TEN I see.

Man motions women over with his little pinkie.
Women comes over to him.
Man says "If I can make you cum with my little finger just imagine what I could do with the rest of my body"

"Will you hold my pint while I go for a shit?"

(if they're there when you come back, it's a sure thing...!)

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you're not.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
Marrying you screwed up my life.

Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,
If it's true, I'd prefer you inside out.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in, to smell this way.

(give the person a bottle of tequila) Drink this, then call me when you're ready.

That’s a really bad set of teeth you’ve got, let me get you pregnant & you’ll get free dental treatment.

Keep em coming people. I'm rolling on the floor. How do i get up?

This one gets me nowhere with Hubby- "If I could I'd chase you all over this house."

m: Did it hurt?
w: What?
m: When you fell from the sky?

M: Are you tired?
W: Why?
m: Cuz you've been running through my mind all day.

I've had the "do you have irish in you?" thing done to me, but i was told i actually do have some irish in me, so i had the wrong answer for him...lol, but it's also been used like that either to me or around me also w/ black in you, korean in you, mexican in you, and i think indian, yep!!

The oldest one i can think of, which really isn't even a pick up line, was said to me in middle school....

You know it:
Got any fries to go w/ that shake..mm..mmm...good..
lol, i laughed at him so hard. Somehow it was flattering.

"Hey baby, wanna take a ride on the crippled c*ck?"

gotta know has that actually worked? please say no..

Have yet to try

m: You know what I like most about you?
w: No, what?
m: My arms (Edit to add, you have to hold your arms out for the hug)

Have you been waiting long???

Usually gets you started,, what comes next depends on the one you ask,,,, "I've been waiting all my life for someone like you",, can be squeezed in there somewhere.

ed

Use the Yorkshire Ripper chat up line,
Hay love fancy getting hammered tonight

I am finding that with the word "Quickie" proudly displayed on my chair a whole new level of chat up lines are being invented...

Hey fancy a
You look good for a
Can I have a

If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.

I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I could make your Bedrock!

Is your Dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb.

I'm going to go outside and make out. Do you want to join me?

I can't feel my bottom half, but you can.

Nice ass, wanna f*@k?

'lets not turn this rape into a murder'

- Works every time, it's truely amazing!

"If I said you have a beautiful body, would you take your shirt off and dance around a little?"

"I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies"

There is a line I remember from my younger bar hopping days. It's not one I ever used but I actually saw it work once for a friend of mine who coined it,,, well,,, once out of hundreds of tries.

"Its getting late,, Let's you and me go somewhere and suck each other off."

ed

GUY: "would you like to go back to my place, get a pizza and have sex"
GIRL: "no"
GUY: "what? Do you not like pizza?"

How long can you stay lubbbbbbbbed
As I'm looking for a pussy that can last the distance

Back in the 50's, when I rode a Motorbike, which was an Ariel 500 twin, I would say......

"Want to come for a ride with me? -- You cant beat 500 cubic centimeters throbbing between your legs"........