This is my Monday morning gripe. What did you do with your compo? I ask this question because when my meagre award was made by British Rail 16 years ago it took into account my spinal injury, any future care and equipment I may need and the fact that my house required adaptation. I was a junior surgeon at the time of the accident and I remember a few friends raising some cash to assist me in the early days.

Now, 16 years later, every time I pick the papers up I read of folks who have been injured and they are publicly appealing for cash for trust funds, appeal funds or whatever set up to help folk. Now I dont have a problem with that. My young sister lives in Little Bookham jsut down the road from Abigail who was stabbed last year. Anyway, her award is now through - £500,000 - she gets 24 hour NHS care - her hubby built an adapted bungalow in the grounds of his parents farm, together with a hous for her parents and a chapel. He works from home for BP. My gripe is that I was astounded when my kid sister told me there is an appeal for funds to raise £20,000 to buy a special wheelchair that will "give her more independence and better quality of life." Surely off £500,000, £20,000 would not be missed? Why should the "public" help to fund it.

Whilst I thought what happened was tragic I was really OFF by how much public media coverage she got. It made you think she was the only one who had something tragic happen to her. Why publicly appeal? Can the £20,000 not be taken off her award? That is what I and many others had to do. How many of you out there got "public appeals" or fundraisers? I gripe because at this moment in time, my nephew is still fighting for every breath he takes so that if he survives, he will live the rest of his life totally paralysed from the neck down unable to move ANYTHING. I want my nephew to have just as independent a life and jsut as much quality as anyone. Yet, realistically, we all know that cannot happen. He too will require 24 hour care, an adapted house and specialised wheelchairs.

So, what makes one person get a trust fund or appeal set up? My BIL thought he would go down this route to help my nephew. However, we are find that we are not "public enough" his accident was not "tragic enough." So, the family will unite and help out - as do hundreds of other folk who dont get TV/media publicity when tragedy strikes. Perhaps if my nephew had been a rugby player, or a high profile person, or even supported a better football team. As our aunt in Scotland told us of a girl who was paralysed in a car crash going home from a football match and the Supporters Club are raising money galore for her.

Dont get me wrong. I have no objections in principle. I just think that there must be lots of deserving folks out there who are just as needy and require just as much to make life "as independent as possible." Excuse me for my gripe, I must go and work longer than the 72 hours I have just done so that I can at least try to make what life my nephew has left bearable.

Thanks for listening. I must go and see what the news is on my nephew who will have to survive without media coverage and only his family to support him.

Hi Gary

I really really do agree and empathise with your thoughts here. Unfortunatly we live in an unfair world and I dont see much to change it. Everyone has their own private tragedies but we live in a media obsessed world who really run the agenda imho, so while Abigails story is truly tragic, as we all know, people suffer SCI everyday, and most of us have to pick up and carry on with our lives the best we can. whats worse than being disabled? Being poor and disabled and everything comes down to money doesnt it? Although some of the stuff I have at home here is given by the NHS an awful lot of has come out of my own pocket, I know Im lucky that Im not not living on benefits for the rest of my life.
Sorry I cant say anything more uplifting here, but I do happen to think you are right.

Gary, you are so right on this one. in the lottery of life some get huge amounts of help and some nothing. I am speaking from experience as I was 'struck down' with a medical condition so not compensation for me. I'm nmot complaining at that, after all the only thing to blame is my immune system, and I can't sue that!

Public appeals do bother me though. I expect you saw the case of Talan, who crashed his own motorcycle but then was subject to an appeal with website etc. I certainl;y don't know what ought to happen, but there does seem to be some inequity. As for Mrs Witchells, I agree, she ought to be able to use some capital to buy a chair if she needs it; that's what the money is for.

Oh dear, this is getting to be a gripe, I had better stop. As for as you nephew is concerned, is he not able to sue his father, as driver, and get the insurance company to pay up? It would at least give him some help for the future.

Thanks Kanga

Yep! I was turning into a gripe. The compo route had been suggested earlier. However, on another site, we were verbally attached because we said that when the family enquired they were told that we all got into the car of our own accord knowing the risks. I have not pursued the compo route as I dont consider 2 broken legs and an arm severe enough to sue. That is my decision. However, my BIL & his wife have not even contemplated that route. Mainly because, since the accident, my BIL has either been at his son's bedside or under medical treatment because he just blames himself for what happened to his son. For now, they are still in limbo because as each day passes the hope of recovery lessens.

Firstly im sorry about your nephews accident but i really think you should be contacting a specialist spinal injuries solicitor so that they can get the case moving forward as quickly as poss if your Bil was insured there will be no problems whatsoever but believe me this needs to be a priority as your nephew will need a lot of help both family and financally you will find a specialist SCI solicitor on the Spinal injuries gb website but this should be a priority

Couple of points here.

Firstly Abigails compo - from what I know of spinal awards (a reasonable amount) £500k for abigails injuries is much (possibly by a factor of 10) lower than she would have recieved from a court if she was claiming against and insured person or body - the higher figure reflecting the true cost of her present and future needs so if members of the public feel the need to raise extra cash for items like a special chair I see nothing wrong with that at all, the compo she's been awarded will run out soon enough anyway.

Gary - I feel you're letting your heart rule your brain and penalising yourself quite unduly by not going down the compo route and your nephew absolutely MUST get a good solicitor on board now (although he has 3 yeras to claim and the legal process will take a minium of 2 - 3 years after that). I know that he'd be claiming against his father and you against someone you know and it all seems like it's the wrong thing to do but you're absolutely mistaken and in actual fact it is the absolutely corect thing to do. The person driving paid his premiums (probably for years and years) just so that if the worst happened he'd be covered. Now the absolute worst has happened and because the driver has paid his premiums then the people in the car who happen to be his friends and loved ones are able to properly claim off his insurance to enable themselves to get some help to live the best life they are able after this horrific accident. Your nephews award if the insurance company are unable to wriggle out of it (unlikely IMHO) will make abigails pale into insignificance. I find it difficult to believe that he doesn't have a claim - I've heard (first hand) of much less promising claims getting significant awards. As royter says please please please encourage your BiL to talk to a good spinal injuries specialist lawyer and insigate proceeding against himself to claim on his insurance. It's what he's been paying his premiums for all these years.

I understand how upset you are about the whole thing and feel that there's no justice and why should it happen to him. The Money won't help those feelings but it will help him make the best of it in the future.

As for trusts and fundraising you can do what you want as you want, One of the guys I was in hospital with had a motorbike accident similar to Talons and his father arranged some fund raisers for his son to fund a decent lightweight manual chair - he did it in conjunction with his local motorbike club and after a lot of effort raised 3 or 4k. Other people run marathons or do all sorts of other fund raising activities. Talon has had a significant amount of money raised for him out of the spotligt of high profile media activity as he didn't get any compo. So it's clearly possible although by no means easy.

The Russ appeal started off from a few of my mates deciding thay wanted to raise some money for me when I was first injured - I asked for the money to go to air ambulance as I didn't feel comfortable accepting the money personally - We've now raised in excess of £30,000 and I'm far from high profile or media friendly.

My heart is not ruling my brain - however, this road was tried way back at the beginning of January when we first had the accident. I was told the chances of success were not good. I've already been through one hellish court case to be awarded a pittance and the thought of laying everything bare again is not something I would even contemplate. For my part, I am just glad to have got out with the life - just.

As regards my nephew. We can only advise as we have done and continue to do. To be honest, his parents are so stunned, I dont think they will ever get over the shock. At this point in time, my nephew does not even look like he will survive. If he does, the future holds not much for him as his paralysis is so severe. All his parents can see at this point is 24 hour care and a life very different from that envisaged. NOTHING will ever be the same again for them and the quality of life my nephew can expect is not much quality.

The docs painted the BLACKEST picture to my family and, unfortunately, the outcome has been even BLACKER than they could predict.

It's an ugly nightmare, trapped in the darkest of holes, only there is no light at the end of the tunnel. We have been told that IF he survives then it will more than likely be hospital care as nursing at home is not an option.

Hearing that news today, there is no amount of millions of pounds could ever compensate my family for what they have lost. However, if the opportunity arises, we shall try and broach it again with my BIL. As you can imagine, for now he is so stunned that it takes him all his time to function.

Thanks anyway for the advice.

Gary,

I have just seen this post. What has happened to Alan that paints everything so BLACK. He was doing so well. I know that black tunnel. I have been there, and no matter what, there is a light at the end of that tunnell. It may be so small that you cannot see it but it is there, believe me. The doctors will always tell you the worst scenario and then everything else that comes along will always be a bonus. My son is still in the acute hospital because he has refused to go back to the other place. Now it is a case of them finding somewhere else even though there are not a lot of options available. I still have not given up hope that he will come home to me some day, and I have to give him that hope too, otherwise he would just give up the will to live and he is always so positive. There is never a negative side with him. Obviously Alan's parents are devasted but they need to think positive too. Nobody expects to see their child in that condition and it is all so overwhelming for everybody. 1 1/2 years on it is still me and him fighting the bloody system but we will never give up. Alan needs his parents and you too to be strong for him. It's a pity I could not meet up with them so they could see how far we have come in so little time. Do'nt give up hope.

Always there.

Lynne

Gary - your decision must clearly be yours and yours alone and as long as you believe it's the right decision for you then no one else can know better. As for your nephew then it's clearly much much too early to be looking at the legal process while he is so ill. They have a good long time once your nephews longer term prognosis is clearer and the immediate danger is over to pursue this.

I hope the news in the future is better for you and your family but I know it's a long hard road you all have ahead of you. I understand how your hurt and concern is coming across as gripes and that it's hard to see others being helped out when your concern is that those close to you won't or can't get similar support but it's not the fault of those getting a little extra help and your anger shouldn't really be directed at them.

Of course you're absolutely correct about nothing compenstaing for the loss. I can't offer any real meaningful comfort to you, I can't even offer to pray for you as I don't believe in any of that but I do feel for you and my best wishes really do go out to you and your family.

Russ thanks for the reply. To be honest I just cannot face another court case. At the end of the day, I am alive and unharmed. Not sure if I believe it is the right decision, however, the accident just completely knocked the fight out of me. Indeed, this one has probably had a more traumatic effect than the one 16 years ago.

Hi Gary,

I've commented on this before & I believe Russ articulated it perfectly in his posts. For your own personal reasons you don't want to go through this but IMO once all the shock & 'cold light of day stuff' has settled then I think Alan via a good solicitor (I know some) should claim as it's just an insurance claim & nothing personal. It could mean a huge difference in the quality of his life & his carers/family to have the money to pay for everything.

I also know a smilar lad in a similar situation (passenger in a car wreck) & eventually he got a very good payout (no pittances) & has his own adapted places (more than one) & all the 'toys' that help make his life better albeit he's not as seriously injured as Alan.

I also know a chap from hospital who is paralysed from the neck down & completely dependant but having money makes his life a whole lot better than struggling for his family etc.

Of course it's a very personal thing but like Russ I urge your family to involve a good legal team & look into it once everything has settled a bit.

We all wish you guys the best of luck though.

BTW, In my 'links' section on my web there is a link to the solicitor I used but there are plenty here in the UK who could help him achieve a very big settlement.

All the best + keep your chin up.

Hi Gary just wanted to send you a BIG Hug looks like you could do with one

Hi Gary

I have made enquiries from a couple of solicitors to see how the land lies. However, my decision is not to sue my BIL for 2 broken arms/leg. I went through that 16 years ago with British Rail and have no intentions of being humiliated again for what I consider insignificant injuries. As regards my nephew, I can only pass the info on to my BIL I cannot make him do anything with it. To be perfecly honest, the poor guy is almost at breaking point as it is. So, once he sees some daylight, I can perhaps try again.

I know solicitors mean well, however, it is the laying bare of all the details that scares the family I think. At any rate, no amount of money be it £6m, 10m or whatever they offered could improve the quality of Alan's life. Basically, at this moment in time, he does not have one. I love my nephew dearly, however, after visiting him yesterday, I would far rather see him dying which is a terrible thing to say than living a life such as he has got.

The prognosis gets blacker with every passing day and I think it is for that reason that my BIL cannot face speaking to solicitors just now. He realises that the longer it is left, the worse the outcome of any settlement, however, for now, the only settlement he wants is for his son to live andhave quality of life. As it is, we are looking at 24/7 care and it will not be able to be done at home.

As my late lamented Grandma used to say you can take a horse to water but you cannot make them drink.

I keep on trying but short of claiming for Alan myself, I have up to now failed.

I am going "of board" for a few days so hopefully by the time I return the news may be better

Gary

Gary - I don't think this is true at all - your BiL has plenty of time to speak with solicitors - There are a couple of cut off dates he shold try to bear in mind - any legal expenses insuranses he may have - either through house or motor insurance will need to be notified of existence of possible claim within 6 months of accident - although this is only a notification to reserve your position. After that the case has to be lodged with a court within 3 years so you really should be talking to the solicitor no later than 2 years post accident.

It's far far too early to be thinking about this yet for your BiL. There's plenty of time for solicitors and the like in the future.