Hi everyone,

I am new to the board. My husband is a paraplegic at the T-5 level. I consider myself the luckiest woman alive that I am his wife. My husband has other children, but I have never had a baby. Although, I love my stepchildren, I am eager to be a Mom and have my husband's baby.

My husband says he wants to have a child with me. But, wants to put trying off for while. I know that it is going to be a challenge getting pregnet, so I don't want to wait too long. I know his concerns about his spasms that he still has and that he is still in so much pain. I don't want to be selfish...I know that I can't even comprehend the pain he goes through on a daily basis. But, I am worried that it could take years for us to conceive and we may run out of time.

I am mad at myself for being jealous of his ex-wife, that she was able to give him children without evn trying and none of his children were conceived on purpose. I wish I could just wake up and have to run to the bathroom to throw up every morning. (I know crazy to even think that way)

I know that us conceiving on an accident isn't possible...he's had a vasectomy and it must be reversed first, before we can do anything. But, I kind of feel like he is putting it off, because he is scared to have another baby.

How do I tell him how I"m feeling? Am I way offcourse for thinking and feeling the way that I do?

[size=5][font=Arial Black] I am sorry you are having a hard time getting pregnant. I got pregnant 3 times by ma accident. But if your husband has to have he condition reversed that is the first step. Then go to theb drug store and get a kit that shows when you a at best time to concieve. And just tell him how you fell it worked for me. You have to keep communication open. mail me at samba_boots@hotmail.com. Mary Reopelle

You've outlined the situation to us very clearly, devotedwife. So you could start with saying the same to your husband. But that's only going to be a start and not sort things out.

I totally support your feelings and understand your urgency. I woman wanting to have a baby is a powerful force.

I think I also understand your husband's reluctance to get started. The last thing a man wants when it comes to progeny is fail. He faces what must appear to him at the moment as a gauntlet. Firstly, the reversal has got to be successful. That is no simple event. Then there is a job of getting pregnant. He may want to succeed but at the moment is more afraid of failing.

This is a big one for any couple to work out on their own. I think you have to be sensitive to your husband's fears but you're ready and there is nothing to be gained by wasting time. If you can't freely discuss it then think of using a counselor to help bring the issues into the open.