10 replies to this topic

[topperf]

I know I should ignore it but I feel a little like: Oh, so I didn't work hard enough?
(And I never worked as hard as I did/do..)

"Each step is a battle, but one this Orange City man plans on winning. He's determined not to spend the rest of his life looking at the world from a wheelchair.
The 20-year-old was paralyzed from the waist down in a single-car accident 10 months ago. Roy was headed home on U.S. 17-92 in the early morning hours of Jan. 26 when he fell asleep at the wheel of his pickup. It rolled three times. He was ejected out the window and left bleeding on the roadway.
I broke all my ribs, my sternum, back and a bone in my neck," he recalled.
Doctors said he would never walk again, despite some sensation in his legs. Roy, the eldest of three siblings, dedicated himself to proving them wrong.
Now I can walk into (the doctors') offices and tell them, 'I told you so,' he said with a grin."



More like this: http://www.news-jour...3WEST113008.htm

[hurbshankin]

Like the article says, "If the potential is there." I guess we don't know if we have the potential unlessc we try. That's why I am still bustin' my butt in therapy. I just plowed my driveway tonight, had to have my wife run the winch on the plow and help me turn the steering wheel a few times. I couldn't have done that a year ago when I came home from the nursing home. Only therapy got me there, I'm lookin' forward to what more ability I gain.

Hurb

[topperf]

Quote

Only therapy got me there, I'm lookin' forward to what more ability I gain.

I know - and you're right. I'm still working hard and it still pays to do so, luckily.
I guess the thing is, when I read this I can't help but think that a AB person might digest this so that: wheelchairs are for people not working hard enuff.. And I don't want that to be the case..
Oh well - I'll roll back in my oversensitive hole..

[nomis]

I recall being pushed around (in my head) by stories such as this and having people suggest I should try really really hard because I, too, could do it, one day.

I learnt pretty quick to immediately explain to them the facts of spinal cords and regeneration, etc, being very reasonable to let them know that they didn't know what they were talking about and I could help them to understand.

I also seem to recall many blank stares.

Anyway, I seem to be immune to it nowadays. I rarely come across it and if I do I'm comfortable dealing with it (I seldom let any ignorance go by without diving in to do my thing).

But the press will always go for the stereotype story stuff. There's no hope of educating them. Don't read news, it only encourages them.

Edited by nomis, 02 December 2008 - 11:48 AM.

[Doug]

Well the spot where he wrecked is a 5 minute ride from my house so it litteraly hits home. All his hard work helped true, but reality is he was just plain lucky the damage to his spinal cord wasn't beyond the bodys ability to repair. Because if just therapy was the cure we all would be walking again. Just try to enjoy what you do have.

[araitn]

I generally agree with you. I too find it a slight insult that people would believe I'm not able to walk because I'm not trying hard enough. I've busted my ass for over a year in therapy and I've made some progress, including limited walking with leg braces and a walker, but I'm far from "real" walking. I've also recently accepted the reality that not only will I not walk again, but also that I'm probably better off with a wheelchair for mobility instead of some form of laborious and awkward walking.

Concerning the referenced article, at least this statement was buried towards the bottom of the page:

"Bob Melia, spinal cord network coordinator for the rehabilitation center's umbrella organization, Orlando Health, and a quadriplegic himself, said every spinal cord injury is unique. If the potential isn't there for rehabilitation, no amount of work will help. But changes in the treatment of spinal cord injuries during the last couple of decades have opened new opportunities for less loss of function. Still, even if there is the chance, it takes effort to make it a reality."

The general public just doesn't understand how complicated a spinal cord injury is and how every injury is different. Really, they have no reason to until they, a relative, or a friend has a SCI. This is understandable, as I had no clue of SCIs before my accident.

Like someone said before, I guess it's just best to ignore the media because they are just going to print the "feel good" stories.

[qbounce]

I still have people commenting to me, ''I hope you get better,'' or ''You'll be walking again soon.'' If only it were so.

I felt the same way when I read a similar article recently, Topp. And I know the more I live with this disability, I've come to realise it's my own insecurities about what others perceive me to be, so I still need to get over that aspect of it sometimes.

[ItaG]

I find the discussion interesting and decided I will try to give an opinion from the other side.
I hope you do not mind the intrusion...^^
If that's the case, I apologize in advance.

I do not think that the majority of AB are so stupid not to realize that if it was only a question of effort, we would not see anyone on a wheelchair because of a SCI as Doug said. As far I am concerned (and I consider myself a typical example of ignorant AB person on SCI, since my friend was born like this, so recovery was obviously impossible) I have never thought, despite “miracle” story popping sometimes on newspapers, that it was THAT simple. Clearly idiots exist, but trusting humanity, I believed them to be a minority...

Speaking of idiots, when I moved to Toronto and I was getting crazy in trying to set up my flat AND working 9am-9pm at the same time, I made the mistake to complain to a male colleague, that came up with the miracle suggestion: “You should just find yourself a wife”...kindly implying that if I try hard enough, maybe I could have manage to move to the next stage of evolution and become a man. ^^

Usually I am very tolerant, but I was not in my best mood after living for two weeks in an empty flat and sleeping on a mattress on the floor, so I do not want to pretend that I had immediately a cool and controlled reaction...(since I am a sweet girl, for a couple of seconds I imagined a couple of Inquisition torture machines that would have been so handy! ^^), but I still give a chance to the “male species”...and even to the colleague in question, that probably was just trying to be funny and cheer me up...(well, he was clearly NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH!) ^^

So, don’t think too bad of us, please, just because a couple of elements ruin the reputation of the whole group! ^^
I am really confident that if I make a pool among my friends on the topic, no one would say that recovering from SCI is a matter of effort (to tell the truth, before reading the medical part of this forum, I thought that any recovery was nearly impossible and attribute the "lucky stories" to less serious injuries than average...shame on me for my ignorance, but I was going exactly in the opposite direction of your expectations).^^

[topperf]

please intrude - ahem, I must say that I agree with your colleague that for a girl, the next step of evolution is becoming a man..
Or you seem confused as to which sex you are? - I don't believe we've meet - welcome ;)
@Nomis - You're a journalist aren't you? lol
@Q -

Quote

I've come to realise it's my own insecurities about what others perceive me to be, so I still need to get over that aspect of it sometimes.

Hitting the nail on the head. good point, it's a damn steep learning curve this life.

Edited by topperf, 03 December 2008 - 03:17 PM.

[ItaG]

topperf, on Dec 3 2008, 09:50 AM, said:

please intrude - ahem, I must say that I agree with your colleague that for a girl, the next step of evolution is becoming a man..
Or you seem confused as to which sex you are? - I don't believe we've meet - welcome ;)

Maybe I should NOT give a chance to the "male species" in the end...^^

Confused? Well, I will give you the same reply that I gave to my colleague:
"The option of having a wife is interesting indeed, but not enough to change my sexual preferences" lol
(but let me know if anyone around is interested in moving to the REAL next step of evolution, and become a wife! ^^)

Seriously, thanks for allowing my intrusion and welcome me in the forum (we have not met before indeed...but I also come from "old Europe"! ^^)

[Nickleblue]

unfortunately I think the sad truth is some people will never walk again no matter what they do.
Also another hard hitting truth would be "you dont know what your capable of until you try"
I guess it depends on the extent of the physical problems and the determination of the individual. However if the physical problems are that major that they cannot be "Beaten/fixed" then no amount of determination/therapy can rectify them. However that doesnt mean a decent standard of living isnt obtainable - at least mentally.
One of the inspirational message i gave to LIR (infact the first) was.
"if I beleive I have the ability to do something I gain that ability even if i did not have the ability to begin with"
Mahatma Ghandi.
I truly beleive that - it helped me beat panic attacks.
However - some situation that just wouldnt apply.
i cant speak for other people but i know that i personally couldnt ever see someone in a chair and think "hey you must not of tried hard enough" - lifes harsh - but stereotypes are just a hipocrites way of not spending time or energy analyzing the situation or the person.
Keep smiling
Gary

Edited by garysmiling, 06 December 2008 - 10:49 AM.