7 replies to this topic

[Trinity]

Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole
were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."

And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,

Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.

A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth.

[qbounce]

Cute Trin,
I know the world is truly headed this way. Walmart finally got the ''Merry Christmas'' signs up this year instead of "Happy Holidays''
That's right, they've actually reverted BACK to the old UNpolitically correct way.

But this brings to mind a ''Southpark'' episode where the school play looked like a bad nightmare because nothing about Christmas or religeon could be shown in their ''Holiday'' production.

[Tash]

Soo good Trin...I really like this poem.

[Ches]

Funny, Sad and True... Im having mixed emotions here!!!

[edlee]

Did you write this, Trin, or did you find it somewhere??? Either way,,, well said.
ed

[Trinity]

Stolen off the interweb. Not sure who wrote it, but it made me laugh!

[Hapahowlee]

Good poem Trin. I agree with everyone who posted here. I have mixed emotions about political correctness. Ironic too Bouncer that you should write about Walmart b/c Mr. Hapa went there the other day and had an employee speak to him in sort of an inappropriate way.

So hubby started rolling towards the front, but figured he'd be in the store a while and decided to have a smoke. He saw 3 Walmart employees standing next to what he thought was one of those concrete ashtrays, but it was just a trash can and the employees just flicked their cigs on the ground. By the time Mr. Hapa got up to ask if he could share what he thought was the ashtray 2 employees left to go back inside and one woman, he claims is about 50ish started talking to him and this is how it went.

W.E.: Are you sick?
Mr. Hapa: Pardon me?
W.E.: Oh, are you a cripple?
Mr. Hapa: The correct term is disabled.
W.E.: Oh well whatever. Why are you in a wheelchair?

Needless to say, Mr. Hapa was shocked and just gave her a strange look to which she did also and turned around and went back to work. Now I remember one of the reasons I blackballed Walmart when I lived in STL. They never had enough disabled parking spaces. If you did find one, it wasn't wide enough for a van with a lift. The store was always a mess and crowded as hell and the employees were like rejects from McDonalds.

Now the new Walmarts around me, which are 5 miles apart are actually not bad. Lots of wide disabled parking, it's not crowded to where you want to scream and most employees seem to have some intelligence. But this woman really should have known better. I called the manager and explained the employees need better training regarding customer relations. Really strange!

[Nickleblue]

""and the employees were like rejects from McDonalds.""
ROFL - Love this....:-)
Aye unfortunately so many idiots in the world - not quite sure why.