[china]

What can i say or do to make things easier, my partner has got to go into hospital on monday for surgery on his hip.

He has osteomylitis ,they are goig to open his leg up wash the pus out and scrape the bone as the infection has got into that.

He is very depressed as no one listend to him when he first got ill.

He wants to die. i have told him that he needs to go and get it sorted as he has had a lot of problems lately.


He is very independent and takes care of himself but when he was in hospital last time he couldn't take a bath or a shower as there were no facilaties for him to take care of his needs.

I used to go and pick him up bring him home, and he used to sort himself here, then id get him back to hospital ready for his next lot of meds.

The problem is, that with what they will be doing this time is that he wont be able to leave the hospital and as a result wont eat because he wont be able to do his b/p.

i want to help but dont know what to say,
.
I am so scared that he will do something it just seems that we sort out one problem then another comes along and he dosn't get a break.


any helpful advice would be appreciated

thanks maria

[snoopydog]

china, on Jan 6 2009, 10:41 PM, said:

What can i say or do to make things easier, my partner has got to go into hospital on monday for surgery on his hip.

He has osteomylitis ,they are goig to open his leg up wash the pus out and scrape the bone as the infection has got into that.

He is very depressed as no one listend to him when he first got ill.

He wants to die. i have told him that he needs to go and get it sorted as he has had a lot of problems lately.


He is very independent and takes care of himself but when he was in hospital last time he couldn't take a bath or a shower as there were no facilaties for him to take care of his needs.

I used to go and pick him up bring him home, and he used to sort himself here, then id get him back to hospital ready for his next lot of meds.

The problem is, that with what they will be doing this time is that he wont be able to leave the hospital and as a result wont eat because he wont be able to do his b/p.

i want to help but dont know what to say,
.
I am so scared that he will do something it just seems that we sort out one problem then another comes along and he dosn't get a break.

Hi, Take it he's not going into Spinal Injury Unit for the op? Could you phone his Spinal Unit and ask for advice/help? Also would suggest talking to the hospital's PALS service with all your concerns. Don't know your circumstances but if it were me and I was that worried I'd stay at the hospital with him until I was happy he was safe! Having gone through depression [serious] I'd suggest getting Psychiatrict help ASAP too. Sorry - hope that helps a little. Hope the op goes really well and you sort things out.

any helpful advice would be appreciated

thanks maria

[china]

Hi, snoopydog, he is having the op done in a local general hospital, they just don't have the facilaties there.

, he has been very depressed and has overdosed before.

He said last night that his world is just falling apart, and that if it wasn't for me and the children then it would be easy to do it again,
only this time he would make sure that no one could find him.

iit hurts so much not being able to help when he was talking he seemed to be asking me for permission to do it and it ended up with him saying that i wouldnt let an animal suffer the way he is now.

He is right he has gone through so much lately. i am going to ring the hospital today with regards to some sort of suport for him.

I cant stay with him they wont let me. belive me i would.

They have told him in so many words yhat if he dosn't go in for the op that the infection will go right through him and he will die.

He pursuaded them to let him come home yesterday because they were goin to take him straight up to the ward.

You have got me thinking though, maybe he could have the op elsewhere, somewhere that they understood the problems that of sci as the hospital that we go to dosn't understand.

thank you for your advice

maria

[Amarillo]

That's crazy,im sure you can find another hospital that will acomodate him,you can also complain in a letter to your local health authority about this.Its totally rubish ! Good luck Maria keep us posted.

china, on Jan 7 2009, 08:00 AM, said:

Hi, snoopydog, he is having the op done in a local general hospital, they just don't have the facilaties there.

, he has been very depressed and has overdosed before.

He said last night that his world is just falling apart, and that if it wasn't for me and the children then it would be easy to do it again,
only this time he would make sure that no one could find him.

iit hurts so much not being able to help when he was talking he seemed to be asking me for permission to do it and it ended up with him saying that i wouldnt let an animal suffer the way he is now.

He is right he has gone through so much lately. i am going to ring the hospital today with regards to some sort of suport for him.

I cant stay with him they wont let me. belive me i would.

They have told him in so many words yhat if he dosn't go in for the op that the infection will go right through him and he will die.

He pursuaded them to let him come home yesterday because they were goin to take him straight up to the ward.

You have got me thinking though, maybe he could have the op elsewhere, somewhere that they understood the problems that of sci as the hospital that we go to dosn't understand.

thank you for your advice

maria

[cate]

Maria. It sounds as if your hospital needs a kick up the butt. They maybe do not understand about the sci. but they will have a orthopaedic dept, where they must have some idea. I think you need to get tough with the adminstrators at the hospital, demand a meeting and see what you can sort out, also have words with your gp and pct. , Which hospital did he have original treatment, can you not talk to them. Best of luck, let us know how you get on
Cate

[russ1]

There is a general reluctance of staff in general hospitals to properly administer bowel care to patients on general wards - this is something that I know the SIA (Spinal Injuries Association) were addressing and I seem to remember there being some sort of conclusion that went along the lines that general hospitals should put in place procedures to ensure bowel care was continued properly in general hospitals.

I suggest you ring them as a matter of urgency as they may be able to help you get the correct care when in hospital.

Here is the advice to Nurses by the Royal College of Nurses regarding Digital Rectal Examination

the relevant paragraph is probably

Quote

Although digital removal of faeces should be a lastresort when all other methods have failed,for somepatients,such as those with spinal cord injuries,DRE is an integral part of their routine (Powell &Rigby,2000).This essential routine should not beinterrupted regardless of the setting in which careis provided.So if you fail to carry out a procedurerequired by a patient you may be called to accountfor your actions by the NMC

Hope that may help

This post has been edited by russ1: 07 January 2009 - 02:46 PM

[Meredith]

this probably isnt much help but my bf had flap surgery in july and it turned out the found out he had osteomylitis as well, when they went in for the surgery. it was his 7th surgery in 8 months. he couldn't shower either b/c of the location of the area. he was very depressed and angry at that point, after all the hospital stays and surgeries and bed rest. he was a nightmare but who wouldn't be? but i would go to see him everyday and wash him. i would close the door and fill the basin with warm water and soap and turn the lights down and wash him. it calmed him down and gave him something to look forward to and he didn't have to feel so invaded by having a stranger do it. it was a time to calm him down and connect with him. idk...it might help...?

[Sammie]

I am not sure where you are located but here in US there is a hospital official called an Ombudsman. If you contact the hospital in person and ask for that persons name and telephone number (dont tell them why) and explain his concern about his b/p, cleaning and eating, that person is legally obligated to find a solution prior to his admission if you contact fast enough for them to do so. The can put him on a different floor perhaps that allows room to take care of things, or get special orders from the doc to let you do his b/p so he will eat. The hospital usually has a clergy that you can contact as well that can come talk to him when he is there about his depression, or you can ask for a mental health referral and they will send someone in to be supportive from a clinical approach. With the surgery he is having he may not be able to move too much at first, but then with the help of these official personnel they can address these other really important issues.