Just dropping a topic to say hey all!
I'm almost 3 years post, T12 (due to trauma) and a father of 4 young ones. 14, 9, 6, and 2 years old.
My wife and I stay home and share parenting and home schooling duties for the youngest 2 all day, every day. My 2 older are only with us during the summer. Their mean ol' mommy, my ex, tortures them for the rest of the year. (Just kidding, of course! She's only mean to me! ;) ) SCI sucks, to be sure, but having the opportunity to be with my family the way we are has been a blessing.
I was a 60-80 hour a week career guy doing what I thought was 'the best' for my family. Unfortunately, I was more than a little disconnected. "Absentee Dad" is a fitting descriptor, even though I thought I was doing all the right things. Keeping the mortgage serviced, saving for college and retirement, allowing my wife to stay home, taking them on holidays, etc, etc.
What I didn't notice was I didn't really know any of my children and for years my wife and I had grown quite distant. It all happened so slowly I missed it. A few hours a day in the evening just wasn't enough to keep in touch with the most important people in my life!
Then, 12 March 2006 I received the wake up call of my life! My wife was 5 months pregnant with our littlest one when I was hurt. I'm just a child in SCI terms, barely now 3 years out, but I have relished the new opportunities and hopefully will rise to the inevitable challenges ahead! Anyway, I guess this is the long way of saying 'Hi!'.
I hope to learn from the all of your examples here and with any luck the next 20 years will be all the better for it! I'm thankful to have found a resource such as this and hope to use it wisely. And a great big 'Thanks!' to the Admins and Mods for making this forum a reality!
Cheers!
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New To Site, What A Gem!
Started by
Oddity
, Jan 18 2009 03:42 PM
9 replies to this topic
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#3
Illinois Boy
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#6
nomis
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Posted 21 January 2009 - 11:17 AM
Hi Oddity.
Great to hear of your appreciation of enjoying your family now that the workwhirl has calmed. It took me many years of feverishly trying to prove my worth as an SCI before I finally stopped to smell the daisies and appreciate those things. So, just short of three years, you're a fast learner.
Great to hear of your appreciation of enjoying your family now that the workwhirl has calmed. It took me many years of feverishly trying to prove my worth as an SCI before I finally stopped to smell the daisies and appreciate those things. So, just short of three years, you're a fast learner.
"It's the notion that there is no perfection ~ that this is a broken world and we live with broken hearts and broken lives but still that is no alibi for anything. On the contrary, you have to stand up and say hallelujah under those circumstances. " - Leonard Cohen
#7
carole338
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Posted 23 January 2009 - 03:23 PM
Welcome to the site Oddity. I hope you can bring us some of your stories and we can learn from your examples.
"It's only the giving that makes you what you are." Tull
#8
norma
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Posted 23 January 2009 - 03:42 PM
Welcome Oddity,
I too am a mom to 14 and 10 year old kids. It must be very busy at your house! I am 1 year post now. How have your kids adjusted??
I too am a mom to 14 and 10 year old kids. It must be very busy at your house! I am 1 year post now. How have your kids adjusted??
#9
Oddity
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Posted 24 January 2009 - 07:29 PM
Hi Norma, great question! So far, so good. The 6 and 2 y/o were 3 and newborn when I was hurt so they don't really remember anything else it seems. The older 2 seem to have opposite reactions. My son (14) was upset because it meant we couldn't do the same things anymore. We were big into playing paintball and taking martial arts classes together and all that came to a halt. They seem to be doing well, but it's hard to tell. Not exactly sure what to look for. They seem happy and content. They're all home schooled so we spend lots of time together. Their activities are going well, they like chess, swimming, soccer, etc the usual suspects. My daughter became very nurturing and helpful. We've become much closer. Something I have to consciously be aware of is not to take advantage of her willingness to help me. It's easy to ask for a drink when I'm sitting on the couch, rather than get my butt up and fetch it myself. Not good, IMO. I try to do as much as I can but sometimes the temptation and laziness get the best of me and I ask for help when it's not entirely warranted. I'm a work in progress, so I try not to be to hard on myself. 
Anyway, I guess I'm just rambling at this point. Cheers!
Anyway, I guess I'm just rambling at this point. Cheers!
#10
Quad65
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Posted 06 February 2009 - 07:30 PM
It's good to see that you seem to be getting a handle on your injury and your life. As I'm sure you are aware, there will be ups and downs and set-backs. We're here to help, lend an ear, and offer the finest in wise-ass advice. Have a 'virtual beer' on me.
Edited by Quad65, 06 February 2009 - 07:31 PM.
-- Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you want to get even real bad.
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