17 replies to this topic

[MySonsDad]

After years of being cared for by a loving wife I find myself in a new situation that leaves me with the same despair in the pit of my stomach that I had in the days, weeks and months following my accident that left me as a C-6 quadriplegic. I have lost my care giver. What are my options?

I live in a large home and have been able to arrange for temporary care so my situation is not immediately desperate. That does nothing to quench the agony of my emotional state. Who of you can help me find my way? I'm trying to find help with my bowel program (BP) and have posted on Craig's List. I've interviewed CNA's who then fail to return after seeing what is expected of them. I've looked at private nursing agencies who want $60 for each (3 hour minimum) visit of which I need two a day, once to get up and again for the BP and getting into bed at night. The 3 hour minimum serves their needs wonderfully but not mine. I don't need someone 3 hours in the moning and 3 hours in the evening. I need someone for an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening. Of course neither CNA's nor private nursing account for shifting position at night or urgent situations such as when my leg bag leaks or when my bed bag fills to capacity and disreflexia is starting as my bladder fills. I've looked at assisted living but I'm in my early 50's while all others there are in their late 80's on up.

Please help me find my alternatives.

[DrLove]

Do you have Medicaid?
Some services may be covered by that.Also try comunity recources,home care agency.

[Scribbler]

Hi Bob,

Its no consolation but I've been through what you are going through right now. I live in England where the care system, which isn't perfect, is better than there in America. I have 24 X 7 Live-In carers who work 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off.

Try and think positive; its hard, but I hope things work out for you.

Mike

[MySonsDad]

I have Medicaid. It covers the BP if I'm housebound and there are agencies that I can contact. Since I can drive it doesn't cover anything. I suppose I can contact the agencies that work with Medicaid but if I remember correctly they may not take private pay clients. If I go into a nursing home, those agencies can get paid by Medicaid and will go into the nursing home. Of course I still don't know what I'm going to do for getting into and out of bed and etc.

Did this get posted the correct forum?

[MySonsDad]

The silence is deafening. What do most people in the United States do in my position?

[allis53ca]

you are being misinformed about what services you have access to dad...you need to get a "physician's prescription" for home health care and then contact the georgia STATE office of medicaid NOT the local office...they will instruct you where to send a copy of your script

Georgia Department of Human Resources
Division of Family & Children Services
Constituent Services
2 Peachtree Street, NW
Suite 18-486
Atlanta, Georgia 30303
404-651-9361

http://dch.georgia.g...7280543,00.html

[StellaLAtella]

You might want to contact HOSPICE ATLANTA. It's my understanding that they can assist in care for people who are not necessarily terminal, but whose condition will not change. You will need a doctor's letter to get recommended for their help. It also depends on where you are in Georgia. If you are in a rural location, you will have a slightly more difficult time finding quality skilled help. I wish you luck.
Stella




P. S. I am so terribly sorry for your loss.

Edited by StellaLAtella, 13 February 2009 - 05:38 AM.

[noles1984]

Bob3975, on Feb 4 2009, 11:09 PM, said:

Many here, Scribbler for one, may remember that I was exactly in your place just a month ago. I'm 53. My wife passed away just 2 months ago and she did it all for 19 years. I had temporary care from friends but that was running out fast. I did not sleep, had that feeling in the pit of my stomach.

You have a house and don't rent?... that's a huge plus, Bob. That's bargaining power. You can offer someone free room and board, free cable, free phone... anything you choose... in exchange for your care. That can solve a problem quick in this economy. In my case, I made an offer to a friend that he could not refuse. I made it so that he and his wife can live here and my house will be theirs upon my death (which I hope is later than sooner) provided they care for me and my four-legged furry kids. They had a mobile home where they had no home owners insurance and no way to buy a regular house at age 53... so it was a no brainer. This solved an issue with the nursing agency I have. My alternative would have been a nursing facility. Weighing live-ins vs. nursing facility? Wasn't even a question.

My condolences to you. I really and fully understand.

PS to others. I have not posted in a while since my new house mates are moving in and are rearranging the house. I'm getting along OK now.

--Chuck in Tallahassee

Edited by noles1984, 14 February 2009 - 06:09 PM.

[edlee]

Noles,,

Glad to hear you are getting things worked out,,,,Why is there always a BUT,,,,,

Please,,, be sure to get things worked out in advance,, or at least early on in this arrangement,,,,, and on paper.

Whenever friendship and finances mix, you are likely to have a loss in one,, or both sides,,,,,unless there is a clear,,, and written,,, understanding of what is expected by both parties.

Having lost both friends and money for the lack of the above,, I can tell you that it makes it easier to live with if everything is on paper (review by a lawyer is reccomended)

I'm not trying to rain on your parade, Chuck,,, just hoping to save you heartache,, down the road.

I wish you and your housemates much luck
ed

[noles1984]

edlee wrote Feb 14 2009, 03:18 PM'

Glad to hear you are getting things worked out,,,,Why is there always a BUT,,,,, Please,,, be sure to get things worked out in advance,, or at least early on in this arrangement,,,,, and on paper. Having lost both friends and money for the lack of the above,, I can tell you that it makes it easier to live with if everything is on paper (review by a lawyer is reccomended)
Already have an attorney. Within my trust, their status will be "tenants with rights of survivorship" and all that's left is document creation and attorney payment.

Edited by noles1984, 14 February 2009 - 09:36 PM.

[MySonsDad]

Thank you for your responses. Yes, I own my home free and clear. I've been in contact with an agency that is hoping to find a nursing student to be a live-in. That person would be bonded and insured, paid for a 5 hour day along with room and board.

I would think trying to find a live-in on my own could be risky. It can't be uncommon for miscellaneous knick-knacks to disappear along with other objects. Feedback?

I appreciate the Hospice and the GA leads. I'll look into it. I've heard that GA is one of the vey worst states to live in as far as help for the disabled. I prefer to stay here near my kids. I misspoke about having Medicaid, I have Medicare which I think pays for less in this case.

I hadn't checked in here because I thought I would get an email saying a post had been made, sorry for my delay.

[noles1984]

MySonsDad wrote: "Thank you for your responses. Yes, I own my home free and clear. I've been in contact with an agency that is hoping to find a nursing student to be a live-in. That person would be bonded and insured, paid for a 5 hour day along with room and board."
Try calling the head of the schools of nursing and see if they have any students that might be interested.

MySonsDad wrote: I would think trying to find a live-in on my own could be risky. It can't be uncommon for miscellaneous knick-knacks to disappear along with other objects. Feedback?
A background check by the ATL police or county sheriff fixes that.

MySonsDad wrote: I appreciate the Hospice and the GA leads. I'll look into it. I've heard that GA is one of the vey worst states to live in as far as help for the disabled. I prefer to stay here near my kids. I misspoke about having Medicaid, I have Medicare which I think pays for less in this case.
I do not doubt GA is poor for services.

[MySonsDad]

Is CraigsList a good place for finding a competent CNA to visit 3-5 times a week? Are there other common spots for finding help of this nature?

[MrNasty]

l am finding myself in the same situation, for at this very moment my wife is packing. l have a large home as well with 6 acres to care for. Although my wife only helped me to bed at night. l dont qualify for any help and agency CNA's don't come out at 11 pm. l'm curious how things worked out.

Peace

[noles1984]

It's worked out fine. The alternative was a facility. You have to be willing to give up a lot and compromise. It's worth it to stay in your home.

MrNasty, on Jul 4 2009, 05:58 PM, said:

l am finding myself in the same situation, for at this very moment my wife is packing. l have a large home as well with 6 acres to care for. Although my wife only helped me to bed at night. l dont qualify for any help and agency CNA's don't come out at 11 pm. l'm curious how things worked out.

Peace

[newwife08]

My husband and I posted an ad on Craig's list for a CNA to help with incontinence changes. We interviewed and hired one gentlemen and at first he was ok, but then the reliability just wasn't there and we had to let him go.

I'd say it's worth a try to see who all applies. Go with your gut, and your background check (which you can also do online for a minimal fee). If it doesn't feel right, then go with what you feel.

We live in Wisconsin, in a county that provides a lot of services for the disabled. In fact, it's one of the better counties to live in in the state of Wisconsin. I'm not sure what we'd do without his county assistance. He goes through a provider service for his incontinence changes and then he does self pay for his BP.

Are there county services in GA where you live??

[FOWLERFAM]

I would like to hear from any of you that live in Georgia. My ex-husband is a c3-c4 complete quad. His wife abandoned him a few months ago and our boys and I have been trying to help with his care. He has been in a nursing facility for about 3 weeks now. We are not happy with him being there. his parents are in thier 60' and not in good health themselves to take care of him. I am considering bringing to my home but not sure what programs are out there...Any info would be appreciated.

[qbounce]

FOWLERFAM, on Aug 7 2009, 04:22 PM, said:

I would like to hear from any of you that live in Georgia. My ex-husband is a c3-c4 complete quad. His wife abandoned him a few months ago and our boys and I have been trying to help with his care. He has been in a nursing facility for about 3 weeks now. We are not happy with him being there. his parents are in thier 60' and not in good health themselves to take care of him. I am considering bringing to my home but not sure what programs are out there...Any info would be appreciated.

Hi FOWLER,
May I suggest that you repost your question on a new thread instead of keeping it on the end of someone elses 7 month old one.

You'll probably get a better response on your own original post.