14 replies to this topic

[Monty76]

I am a C3-C4 Quadriplegic and my fiance took care of me for 3 years and once we got married we were told that it is illegal for a spouse to work as another spouses caregiver. Well since then we have had nothing but problems, it took us 3 months to finally find a caregiver through this consumer directed home health care co. and no one that we find will stay with us because its not enough pay. its barely over minimum wage home health care agencies don't pay enough for us to find someone long term, and now that i have to work elsewhere i cant afford to miss work because we lose a caregiver. I just want whoever made the ridiculous rule that a wife cant work as her husbands caregiver to explain this to me, why they would rather a stranger come into your house, instead of your wife, someone who knows what she is doing, and who you are comfortable with, either way they will be paying someone, why does it matter so much who it is? It seems to me they want to make a disabled persons life even more difficult than it already is...it is so frustrating!! We just dont know what to do anymore, we feel so hopeless. Is there anyway around this? Or is there any other state that does allow this? please help...thank you!

[kdenon01]

Dude I know! I can't believe that there are places here in the US where the wife cannot be the caregiver. Here in Michigan I get paid 24/7 to take care of my hubby. We decided together that if they ever change the law we will get a divorce! lol Seriously...stay together but no longer be "married." Then we would go ahead and do all the legal paperwork that made me able to make medical decisions, etc still. And the same for him for me.

Other than that I don't have any advice. I just want to know why too!!!

[Spinner]

kdenon01, on Feb 21 2009, 06:44 PM, said:

Dude I know! I can't believe that there are places here in the US where the wife cannot be the caregiver. Here in Michigan I get paid 24/7 to take care of my hubby. We decided together that if they ever change the law we will get a divorce! lol Seriously...stay together but no longer be "married." Then we would go ahead and do all the legal paperwork that made me able to make medical decisions, etc still. And the same for him for me.

Other than that I don't have any advice. I just want to know why too!!!

Kdenon01, do you know how I would go about finding which states pay for a spouse to be caregiver? (I tried google, but must not have typed in the right search terms.)

[kdenon01]

I don't even know.
I get paid by my husband's auto insurance company. And I know Michigan has special auto ins. benefits that other states do not get. But they know we are married and they still keep sending me checks.

Wish I had more info for you guys.

[kelbos]

I live in Cali and I get paid thru the county to take are of my husband. He is a c5-c6 incomplete.

[qbounce]

kelbos, on Feb 21 2009, 08:29 PM, said:

I live in Cali and I get paid thru the county to take are of my husband. He is a c5-c6 incomplete.

Kelbos,
Are there any monetary restrictions that you know of to qualify for this? I mean, do you know the most a married or single person can make before they're disqualified for this benefit?
Thanks in advance

[raybonda]

hi,
there is a bit of logic behind the family carer not being paid thing ,,,,,,,,,,would you sack your mam or dad etc if were incompetant or disagreed with your requests?......naaaaaaa!
although i understand it ,,,,,,,,i dont like or agree with the ruling
in UK you can employ your spouse under certain circumstances ,,,,,,
if for instance you are muslim and religion says no one or than huband can see your body,,or you only speak hindi, punjabi, chinese or a non english language
thats it guys,,,,hope i haven6t caused a riot.
Ray

[Spinner]

I did some research and found out that in the state of Arizona a spouse can be a paid caretaker. This is wonderful for us because that is where we plan to move! At least some states are catching on!

[sbrown955]

In California, the recipient of the aid has to be eligible for Medi-Cal in order to receive the care that is adminstered through the counties but funded by the state. (I am my daughter's caregiver but worked for a county agency prior to her injury.) If you want specific info on eligibility rules for a disabled person, send me a personal message and I'll answer.
Medi-Cal is California's version of the Medicaid program--it differs from the basic Medicaid in that California has added quite a bit of services through state funding.
Good luck to the two of you.
Susan

[LadyLaTee]

My problem is that the Medicaid system sucks here in OH. Jointly, me and my husband make $1800/mon with my unemployment and his SSI. Because of our income we have a $900/mon spenddown which is impossible to make because our rent is $900/mon, not counting utilities, medical supplies, and food. The gov't puts you between a rock and a hard place. The rule here is too that you can't be married to your caregiver which I too believe is the stupidiest rule ever, maybe we should start a petition and see if this is something that can be changed. I am sure everyone married with someone who is disabled is going through the same fustrations when it comes to this.

Unfortunatly, although I believe honesty is the best policy, the only way I can think around this rule is to A.) tell your social worker that you all are seperated and get him on his on case (you probably get more benefits that way too) and use different addresses, that way when she signs up to be your aide she can even say she's your cousin (they won't know , divorce but still be together.

I think plan A will be the simplier way to get around this stupid rule. I am in the process now of getting my husband onto his own case so that he can get insurance to go back to therapy and pay for his medical supplies. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do to make sure you and your family are taking care of, and if that means telling a little lie, so be it, the gov't hasn't left us with many choices.

Edited by LadyLaTee, 27 April 2009 - 03:21 PM.

[Scott_C4-5]

Anyone have a list of states where a spouse can be paid to be a care-giver? I receive medicaid and medicare, but I've never checked into this because I have been on the medicaid waiver program which pays for a worker for 4.5 hours a day, 6 days a week.

[Liquid0Numbness]

Scott_C4-5, on Apr 27 2009, 05:36 PM, said:

Anyone have a list of states where a spouse can be paid to be a care-giver? I receive medicaid and medicare, but I've never checked into this because I have been on the medicaid waiver program which pays for a worker for 4.5 hours a day, 6 days a week.

I hope this website helps:

http://caregiver.org...jsp?nodeid=1932

[Lavore]

I worked over a year for a client who had similar issues. He circumvented the system a little by posting ads, doing private, intensive one-on-one interviews and then directing people he felt comfortable with through the certification and hiring process to be an independent provider for DSHS. He was also able to train his own caregivers in a way as well, because most of us were new to the profession.It took a lot of work, but he ended up getting more reliable and attentive care, and people who stuck around longer. I wasn't licensed when I interviewed with him. Again, lots of work, but he felt it was worth it.

Actually the client I work with now did the same thing. She interviewed me, and then referred me to the care giving agency that she receives hours from. They are willing to work with her a little on it, especially as they are always in need of new care givers. I had to go through all of their interview and hiring process stuff as well, but now that all the hoops have been jumped through, it's working out pretty nicely.

[mello dan]

LadyLaTee, on Apr 27 2009, 11:18 AM, said:

My problem is that the Medicaid system sucks here in OH. Jointly, me and my husband make $1800/mon with my unemployment and his SSI. Because of our income we have a $900/mon spenddown which is impossible to make because our rent is $900/mon, not counting utilities, medical supplies, and food. The gov't puts you between a rock and a hard place. The rule here is too that you can't be married to your caregiver which I too believe is the stupidiest rule ever, maybe we should start a petition and see if this is something that can be changed. I am sure everyone married with someone who is disabled is going through the same fustrations when it comes to this.

Unfortunatly, although I believe honesty is the best policy, the only way I can think around this rule is to A.) tell your social worker that you all are seperated and get him on his on case (you probably get more benefits that way too) and use different addresses, that way when she signs up to be your aide she can even say she's your cousin (they won't know , divorce but still be together.

I think plan A will be the simplier way to get around this stupid rule. I am in the process now of getting my husband onto his own case so that he can get insurance to go back to therapy and pay for his medical supplies. Sometimes you have to do what you have to do to make sure you and your family are taking care of, and if that means telling a little lie, so be it, the gov't hasn't left us with many choices.

LadyLaTee,

Just curious, is your husband on any of the home health care wavier programs? There has to be a way around that huge spenddown, otherwise that is just too absurd of the government to put on you guys!

[FOWLERFAM]

Monty76, on Feb 21 2009, 07:00 PM, said:

I am a C3-C4 Quadriplegic and my fiance took care of me for 3 years and once we got married we were told that it is illegal for a spouse to work as another spouses caregiver. Well since then we have had nothing but problems, it took us 3 months to finally find a caregiver through this consumer directed home health care co. and no one that we find will stay with us because its not enough pay. its barely over minimum wage home health care agencies don't pay enough for us to find someone long term, and now that i have to work elsewhere i cant afford to miss work because we lose a caregiver. I just want whoever made the ridiculous rule that a wife cant work as her husbands caregiver to explain this to me, why they would rather a stranger come into your house, instead of your wife, someone who knows what she is doing, and who you are comfortable with, either way they will be paying someone, why does it matter so much who it is? It seems to me they want to make a disabled persons life even more difficult than it already is...it is so frustrating!! We just dont know what to do anymore, we feel so hopeless. Is there anyway around this? Or is there any other state that does allow this? please help...thank you!

Monty you said that you work. Im a little curious about your injury you stated that you are c3-c4 quad. Do you have any movement?