[Swordfish]

Howdy ho!

I'm a dramatic guy -- sometimes I go over the edge for no reason other than spicing things up a little bit, y'know? Here are two stories that I've had 'fun' at other peoples' expense.

#1) "So, what happened to you?"
I get asked this question so often -- I hate it! It's like a conversation filler. The other day I tried to put my 'game on' and chatted with this girl at a friends party. She threw out the question very early on... and I got pissed.
"What makes you think something happened to me? I was born like this!", I yelled, furious.
"I'm ..."
I interrupted, "So being in a wheel chair required something to HAPPEN to you? god can't MAKE me like this?"

Suffice it to say, she probably will not be talking to disabled persons no more.


#2) Fun with Crowds

I have afriend who is a taxi driver. I was wheeling at down-town and he spotted me and pulled over to the curb. The street was very busy with pedestrians. He and I have the same sense of humor so he caught on quick when I began to scream,
"What the f*@k do you mean you're not gonna take me?"
"Like I said, your a f*@king cripple! I ain't putting your stinking chair in my trunk!"
"I got places to be! an appointment with a lawyer, man!"
"How do I know your diaper won't leak on my car seat? I don't want to clean your shit up!"

we kind of batted the ball around for a few minutes and got lost into the 'scene' little did I know there really was a 'distant' crowd watching. Everyone was watching from afar, but it was interesting that no one said anything and just watched.
You know the funny thing was? as I was heading the opposite direction after the 'scene' a guy walked a long side me and said:
"That wasn't right... but, hey, don't you people have your own transportation?


Not everything is serious, folks. Sure we're in a crap situation, but it doesn't help anyone to mope around and feel sorry for yourself. I've been there, done that (shit I'm kinda going through that this week...) but in the end... you don't have anyone but you & yourself, so why not have some fun, take it easy, make the best of a situation -- and enjoy yourself? as you can see from me, I enjoy my own company!

[jaquie_farmer]

that sounds like something i'd do. lol.

[Santa Cruz Soul Surfer (LRO)]

Swordfish, on Feb 27 2009, 08:07 PM, said:

"How do I know your diaper won't leak on my car seat? I don't want to clean your shit up!"

LMFAO!...I've actually had that exact same situation on a South West airline flight going from DFW to SFO!!! LOL, some people just don't get it, such is life I guess...It's still funny as hell and well worth a good laugh!

[nomis]

An interesting contrast of stories, Swordfish. First one you're rude and unfairly embarrass someone innocently trying to strike a convsersation with you and the second you courageously drop your inhibitions for some fun street theatre. It's so often a fine line being funny or not. Looking fireward to hearing more of your pranks. I'm a bit tame, myself, when in public and often think of things to do but never carry them out (till now, anyway).

[Abdifatah28]

Don't you people have our own transportation.Are we you people?

[Trinity]

Swordfish, on Feb 28 2009, 04:07 AM, said:

Suffice it to say, she probably will not be talking to disabled persons no more.

And this is funny / a good thing how?

It's just as well you enjoy your own company, if you carry on like that you will be spending a lot more time in it.

[Swordfish]

@Nomis': "First one you're rude and unfairly embarrass someone innocently trying to strike a convsersation with you"

How did I unfairly embarrass her? If you're too ignorant to not consider someone elses feelings and ask a question like "hey, how long you been blind" then you're not deserving of being treated 'fairly'

@Trinity:
It's funny because there was a consequence for her idiocracy. You can't just not consider other peoples feelings (even unintentionally) then expect people to treat you with respect.

I couldn't care less what other people think -- if you're an idiot, I'm gonna treat you like one.

btw your profile says 'relaxed and chill out kinda girl' well relaxed and chilled out wouldn't have a bug up her ass about giving lip to deserving people.

cheerio!

[KarenFerguson]

I've gotten the "what happened to you?" my whole life. I really don't take it as insulting but just the curiosity of people in general. Sure it's a bit annoying when you're just trying to live your life and do your "thing" and them bam ... all people see is the chair. Sometimes I'm with you and would like to say F' off but I never do, I explain what happened (premature birth, bleeding in my spine ... blah) and they are usually quite interested. Sometimes is nice to get that out of the way quickly so the other person isn't wondering the whole time. Frankly, I'm always fascinated why others are in chairs, but wouldn't necessarily ask them in a crowded bar while having a drink ...

I love the taxi scenario. "You people" ... what an ass. I'm surprised no one from the crowd came over and told off your taxi friend.

[twisted_ophelia]

I get the "what happened to you", "what's wrong with you", "why are you in a wheelchair" AT LEAST once a day. I co-own a business in which we deal with a lot of people coming in and out and a lot of people are curious. It all depends on how they ask me. If they have spent time talking to me first, or don't ask me in a way that makes it seem like I'm some kind of side show, I am generally pretty laid back about answering them. Sometimes myself and the dudes who work for us will have some fun with them and we'll start making up stories about how I got injured that are amusing and entertaining. If I'm in a really grumpy mood and my patience is low, and someone pulls the "what's wrong with you" line, I have definitely given people shit and not handled it with patience and sometimes with a long stream of profanity . In general though, I find that it is better to not give the AB people really bad impressions of people with disabilities, making them think we're even more 'weird' than they think we already are. Yeah, I'll sometimes have fun at some idiot's expense but not in a malicious, cruel way.... I dunno. There's a fine line, like nomis said. Some people are total assholes, definitely, and like KarenF said, if I meet someone I don't know in a chair out in public, I'm ALWAYS wondering why they are in the chair so it's just a natural human reaction that is handled very differently by various people. I have NEVER gone up to a stranger in a chair though and asked why they use one.

One of the things that used to really upset me in the early days of my SCI was that there is no way around my chair being pretty much the first thing strangers notice about me. I could look freakin fantastic and be all dolled up and chances are the first thing someone will realize about me is that I use a chair. I used to have a really hard time with this. I wanted people to see ME. Then I just got over it (with time) because I realized there's really no way that will ever change. Unless I went around naked in public all the time or something, maybe then they'd notice that I'm naked first!

[edlee]

Sorry, bubba,,,, being curious doesn't make one an idiot,,, not knowing that, might.

I kinda have to agree with Trin on this one,,,,, hell, you're in a wheel chair,,, what did you think someone would see first??? Your personality???
ed

[greybeard]

twisted_ophelia, on Feb 28 2009, 06:29 PM, said:

there's really no way that will ever change. Unless I went around naked in public all the time or something, maybe then they'd notice that I'm naked first!

Well there's only one way to find out really isn't there? Don't forget to post the pics though.

[twisted_ophelia]

greybeard, on Feb 28 2009, 05:28 PM, said:

twisted_ophelia, on Feb 28 2009, 06:29 PM, said:

there's really no way that will ever change. Unless I went around naked in public all the time or something, maybe then they'd notice that I'm naked first!

Well there's only one way to find out really isn't there? Don't forget to post the pics though.

Naked pics of me? Then all those creepy stalker-types out there would have a field day!

[Santa Cruz Soul Surfer (LRO)]

LOL, thats not to say the devotees don't already with the pics we post!

[E-DOG]

twisted_ophelia, on Feb 28 2009, 05:43 PM, said:

greybeard, on Feb 28 2009, 05:28 PM, said:

twisted_ophelia, on Feb 28 2009, 06:29 PM, said:

there's really no way that will ever change. Unless I went around naked in public all the time or something, maybe then they'd notice that I'm naked first!

Well there's only one way to find out really isn't there? Don't forget to post the pics though.

Naked pics of me? Then all those creepy stalker-types out there would have a field day!

Great!
So now I'm creepy huh?
What was your address again?
E

[twisted_ophelia]

Santa Cruz Soul Surfer (LRO), on Feb 28 2009, 08:56 PM, said:

LOL, thats not to say the devotees don't already with the pics we post!

That would be why I would never post a single pic of myself with my chair visible! And why my myspace is set to private!

So, E Dog, I'll be PMing you my address....

[Santa Cruz Soul Surfer (LRO)]

twisted_ophelia, on Feb 28 2009, 10:25 PM, said:

That would be why I would never post a single pic of myself with my chair visible! And why my myspace is set to private!

LOFL, ya I can appreciate that. I've had a few random and disturbing messages on myspace from devotees before, but I can only imagine how annoying it must be from a girls perspective. You know, now that I think about it; This is something that I think would make a VERY interesting forum topic.

[twisted_ophelia]

Santa Cruz Soul Surfer (LRO), on Mar 1 2009, 04:46 AM, said:

twisted_ophelia, on Feb 28 2009, 10:25 PM, said:

That would be why I would never post a single pic of myself with my chair visible! And why my myspace is set to private!

LOFL, ya I can appreciate that. I've had a few random and disturbing messages on myspace from devotees before, but I can only imagine how annoying it must be from a girls perspective. You know, now that I think about it; This is something that I think would make a VERY interesting forum topic.

Oh my god, the stories I could tell you guys about not only the devotees on myspace but the ENDLESS friend requests from the imposters--the "girls" who are "paraplegics" with the one obviously stolen photo on their profile. I've had requests from people who have had the SAME GIRL (some poor unsuspecting genuine SCI person) as their profile photo yet are two different people using different names, are from different countries, etc. I usually just ignore and block them. This is why I am pretty paranoid about posting pics in public forums, and would never post full-on chair pics out in public, only in private (the public pic of me in a bi-ski was enough!). If I ever caught anyone using my photos on myspace or elsewhere, I don't even know what I'd do.

This post has been edited by twisted_ophelia: 01 March 2009 - 04:09 PM

[Trinity]

twisted_ophelia, on Mar 1 2009, 04:06 PM, said:

Santa Cruz Soul Surfer (LRO), on Mar 1 2009, 04:46 AM, said:

twisted_ophelia, on Feb 28 2009, 10:25 PM, said:

That would be why I would never post a single pic of myself with my chair visible! And why my myspace is set to private!

LOFL, ya I can appreciate that. I've had a few random and disturbing messages on myspace from devotees before, but I can only imagine how annoying it must be from a girls perspective. You know, now that I think about it; This is something that I think would make a VERY interesting forum topic.

Oh my god, the stories I could tell you guys about not only the devotees on myspace but the ENDLESS friend requests from the imposters--the "girls" who are "paraplegics" with the one obviously stolen photo on their profile. I've had requests from people who have had the SAME GIRL (some poor unsuspecting genuine SCI person) as their profile photo yet are two different people using different names, are from different countries, etc. I usually just ignore and block them.

Haha I get this a lot on Facebook. The clues are there though, can be either male or female with usually 100's of friends, all of which are female, and all have a disability of one sort or another, either a profile pic of them in a chair or a member of some sort of disability related group or something that identifies them fairly easily as disabled. The person all so usually has only one photo in their photo section which is their profile picture, no pics of them with any of their 'friends' or anything like that!
To be fair they are fairly easy to spot!

[twisted_ophelia]

trinity, on Mar 1 2009, 11:17 AM, said:

Haha I get this a lot on Facebook. The clues are there though, can be either male or female with usually 100's of friends, all of which are female, and all have a disability of one sort or another, either a profile pic of them in a chair or a member of some sort of disability related group or something that identifies them fairly easily as disabled. The person all so usually has only one photo in their photo section which is their profile picture, no pics of them with any of their 'friends' or anything like that!
To be fair they are fairly easy to spot!

Yup, exactly. I don't have a Facebook but that's the first thing I'd look at when these idiots would try to add me on myspace. If they had not one single friend anywhere on their profile who isn't a disabled female, they get blocked. Especially if they have just the one photo--or better yet, just a standard catalogue type pic of some wheelchair! I think it's hilarious how all their About Me sections say pretty much the same thing--how they love life, are just a "fun, regular girl" but had an accident and now use a wheelchair and "make the best" of it or whatever. It's like the creepy imposter textbook line or something.

Edited to add that they are probably reading this and taking notes

This post has been edited by twisted_ophelia: 01 March 2009 - 05:07 PM

[Santa Cruz Soul Surfer (LRO)]

Alright, i'm making this into a forum thread!...I too have story or two!

[twisted_ophelia]

Santa Cruz Soul Surfer (LRO), on Mar 1 2009, 03:14 PM, said:

Alright, i'm making this into a forum thread!...I too have story or two!

I love hearing people's crazy stories, share them over in that other thread you created

Edited to add the random thought that I just remembered that I DO have a Facebook. I think. I think I created one when Facebook first started, tried to figure out how to delete my account because I never used it, couldn't figure it out, and now I think it's just sitting there.

This post has been edited by twisted_ophelia: 02 March 2009 - 12:38 AM

[AndrewB]

Hahaha.. my dog just pulled me into a little pond at the park when i was walking her.. it was hilarious. i was telling her she was a good girl for pulling me.. and she got excited and started going faster and faster.. and i went off to the left and the front caster hit the soft ground, and i flipped end over end into a little pond.

This post has been edited by AndrewB: 02 March 2009 - 02:16 AM

[Santa Cruz Soul Surfer (LRO)]

LOFL!...Did anyone else see this happen? LOL, i'm sure they came running!

LOFL, did anyone else see you flip?...I'm sure they came running!

This post has been edited by Santa Cruz Soul Surfer (LRO): 02 March 2009 - 03:08 AM

[twisted_ophelia]

AndrewB, on Mar 1 2009, 09:16 PM, said:

Hahaha.. my dog just pulled me into a little pond at the park when i was walking her.. it was hilarious. i was telling her she was a good girl for pulling me.. and she got excited and started going faster and faster.. and i went off to the left and the front caster hit the soft ground, and i flipped end over end into a little pond.

Oh man! My horse did this to me (again, see Horseback Riding thread over in the sports area to read my prattling about my horse). It's why I no longer go out and get him from his paddock without help. I had JUST adopted him and was still figuring out how the hell to do most groundwork with him (like grooming, leading, etc) from my chair. I managed to get myself out to his paddock which was super muddy, fend off the other horses, get him out, close the gate and decided that it would be a good idea to tie him to my chair because I needed both hands to propel. Ummm.... BAD BAD BAD idea. He started walking fast, getting excited, I hit a hole of some sort and went somersaulting (seriously) out of my chair into a pile of mud which scared the shit out of my horse because now he was tied to some kind of weird contraption dragging behind him (my chair) and didn't know what to do. Luckily, someone was nearby and saw the whole thing, came running, and helped me out. Why I ever thought doing that was a good idea is really beyond me. He's an off-the-racetrack thoroughbred and super excitable. Way to go me.

[fatdave]

I was in a friends tattoo shop when in walked a couple of just turned 18 ditzy girls, after getting their paper work squared away for one of their piercings I was just chatting them up one one shouts out " OH MY GOD!" followed by "you're in a wheelchair!, how did that happen!" I told them calmly and with a very serious face that I when I got my tongue pierced "he missed and hit a nerve" pointing at my friend. he yelled " WE AGREED NEVER TO TALK ABOUT THAT AGAIN!" and stormed off to his booth. The girls looked at each other worried and said they wanted to change from a tongue piercing to a eyebrow and asked if I would do it.

The tipped well.

funny thing is, I don't even have a tongue piercing.

[Travelling Blackbird]

fatdave, on Mar 9 2009, 12:36 AM, said:

I was in a friends tattoo shop when in walked a couple of just turned 18 ditzy girls, after getting their paper work squared away for one of their piercings I was just chatting them up one one shouts out " OH MY GOD!" followed by "you're in a wheelchair!, how did that happen!" I told them calmly and with a very serious face that I when I got my tongue pierced "he missed and hit a nerve" pointing at my friend. he yelled " WE AGREED NEVER TO TALK ABOUT THAT AGAIN!" and stormed off to his booth. The girls looked at each other worried and said they wanted to change from a tongue piercing to a eyebrow and asked if I would do it.

The tipped well.

funny thing is, I don't even have a tongue piercing.

That's hilarious. Excellent.

Almost every time a stranger sees that I have tattoos, they ask if I was injured in a motorbike accident... tattoos+wheelchair=motorbike accident, apparently. I usually just say yes, and move on...

[wheelywendy]

the second one is sort of thing i'd do. (but do think it bit unfair to be rude when someone asks whats wrong or what happened, humans are naturally curious, better to either just ignore them or simply say you dont wish to discus it rather than be rude. )
i'm always embarrasing my carer when were out, one day we were doing disability awareness with a local girl guide unit and part of the evening they had to make a jam sandwich blindfolded and feed it to someone, just like a blind mum might her child, so we nipped into tesco to get the bread jam and butter (to keep costs down i brought the value range) i put my bits on the conveyerbelt and my carer had got some tasty food to leave for her husband and sons tea, so as we were at the counter i looked at the bread, jam and marg and in a very loud voice said " do i really have to eat jam sandwiches again tonight, i've had them all week i'm fed up with them, please can i have some of that lovely steak your having, please just for a change!! at which everyone glared at her and believed my little story totally. my carer played along and said no you either eat the jam sandwiches or go without!!
i'm also a bit naughty when i've knocked myself and got a nice big bruise that shows, i'll sit there and say something cheeky to my carer, then quickly add i didnt mean it please dont hit me i've still got the bruises from last time look!!!
guess i'm lucky my carer has a sense of homour or i could finfd myself on my own!! hee hee

This post has been edited by wheelywendy: 09 March 2009 - 06:11 PM

[twisted_ophelia]

The most idiotic thing happened to me yesterday when it comes to people having ignorant reactions to those of us in chairs.

I went into Chapters with a girlfriend of mine yesterday (the Canadian equivalent of Barnes & Nobles) and as soon as we went in, I all of a sudden hear a male voice yell at the top of his lungs, "THAT IS SO COOL! DUDE! LOOK! A GIRL IN A WHEELCHAIR!" Literally. At this point I had my back already to him and so I didn't turn around but EVERYONE in the store around me looked absolutely horrified and offended. I just ignored him and he kept yelling "THAT IS SO COOL! A WHEELCHAIR!" and started to follow me. Actually, at first I wasn't sure if he was following us so we sort of turned down an aisle and he was right there behind me and I got pretty freaked out--which doesn't happen easily--because all of sudden there is a strange large male following me and yelling at me. You could tell all the people around had no idea what the f*@k to do because everyone looked speechless, even my friend. The whole thing lasted maybe a minute or two but I figured he'd stop it if I ignored him which he didn't and I was getting upset pretty quick. I turned around and yelled at him to leave me the f*@k alone and stop following me around. He didn't even respond to me, just walked away. It's like I wasn't even a human being. I honestly don't know what is wrong with some people. I mean, who does stuff like that and what for??

[Jax]

About 3 months post injury, a friend and I went to another friend's house to drink some Crown Royal and play some pool. I had gotten the wheelchair lift in the bed of my truck the day before. When we pulled up in the driveway, my friend and I were talking. I opened my door and got out of the truck. Without my wheelchair. I just turned and put one hand on the grab handle, and one on the seat back just like I did prior to my injury and got out. I landed face first on the ground. My friend in the truck was laughing at me and holding the control to the lift, and the other friend had just come out of his house and seen the landing. Both asked me if I had started drinking without them.

[LeahC]

In rehab I used to do the whole 'I can't feel my legs' shocked thing, this was after about 3 months but really tickled me hehe! My friend had a minor car accident and did the 'I can't feel my legs' too LMAO!