[MrBump]

Hey there everyone, like many been lookin on here for a bit but thought i'd better say hi, felt like bit of a rude prick listenin to everyones convos in the shadows....................
i'm 10mths post injury and am c7 complete, been home for 2 months and am married with 2yo daughter.

From Oz, rehab setup is pretty good over here I think in regards to education so i think i'm pretty well informed but got a cupla of questions.

- have an spc but havee been using a flipflo valve without bag for last month, any1 else doin this and if so has your bladder tolerated this for an extended amount of time ?

- been offered tendon transfers for my fingers, no function there, worth doin ? any1 had any negative reactions ?

- family not coming to terms with my completeness, expecting me to walk again and not accepting and moving on with new life.............

I'll have heaps more as time goes on.

At the end of the day I still see myself pretty lucky as i have my family, house and business. I get the shiats alot but snap out of it pretty quick.
Anyway thats it for now.

Over and Out

[araitn]

Welcome Mr. Bump!

Sorry, I can't help you with your questions, but there are plenty of people here that can and will.

Keep up the good attitude as it goes a long way.

[wheeliebear75]

Well likewise I'm not able to help answer your questions. Sorry.

I would however say that you're doing well for having come to the point of accepting. Some people never get over that hurdle. As for your family in time hopefully they to will get to the same point as you. A lot of us started off just looking at first.

Best of luck & hopefully someone will be able to help you out.

[wheelywendy]

hi mr bump, welcome i'm not really in a position to answer your questions, but someone on here will i'm sure.
the family problem is similar to mine, my mum just expected me to get up and walk after my rehab, i guess thats just her not wanting to believe her daughters "broken" this has improved over the years but just occasionally she'll still come out with some stupid comment, like a few weeks ago i wanted the loo at the cafe in a local park, but i was in my electric chair which just wouldnt fit in and shut the door, so i said i'd have to nip to the bigger ones outside nr carpark, to which she said well you could leave your chair outside the door!! i guess i was supposed to drop to the floor and drag my self across the loo floor!!!! that sort of hurts when your own mum after 12yrs in a chair comes out with that. on me getting annoyed at her total lack of awareness of my disability. she said sorry just wasnt thinking!! i guess having dad in a chair following a stroke for 15 yrs she was thinking more along his ability (he can walk short distances with a stick) but i must admit even with mum having two of us disabled (i dont live at home but i am in same small village) her disability awareness is very poor, i think its her way of not accepting the truth, my mums most annoying thing is when we're shopping together she'll either walk so close behind me (i dont have push handles on my chair!) that when i turn shes between my back wheels and i end up catching her, or she'll be so close in to my side that i struggle to bring my arms back to wheel without knocking my arms on her, or the other extreme is i'll say i want something off my list and when we get the that shelf she position herself and her trolley across that part of the shelf and then say which do you want? to which i tend to reply "how the heck do i know when i cant get to see what there is!! (not always that politly, not when i'm really getting cheesed off) . but i've come to the conclusion she doesnt do it on purpose just doesnt think!! but it hurts a lot when close family wont accept and dont take it on board, incidents like that just make me realise my mum just doesnt know the new me, but still see's me as the daughter she had before the accident!
having said all that the rest of my family and the friends that did stick by me are great, they accept me as i am and what i can and cant do, but dont overdo the trying to help bit , they treat me as an equal expecting me to do as much as i can but respecting me when i ask for help, and naturally hold doors open or move things out of my way if need be as we go along.
so things should start to get better with your family accepting in time, remember everyone takes diffrent times to adapt to change, and everyone has their own ways of coping, in someways it prob easier for us to start to accept faster than our friends and relatives, as its us that its happening to so were probably busy trying to make the most of what we do have, pushing ourselves to do what we can and all our mental and physical energies are going into trying to do everyday things, we cant get away from it, (i'm not saying we dont have plenty of low times, the why me, the hope that maybe you'll walk again etc etc, but deep down i think we know and therefore except quicker) relatives can take a step back from time to time and in their heads pretend its not happening , imagine a full recovery etc, even if only for a few mins before reality kicks back in, they have the ability to walk away from the reaility of it all for a little while, so prob why it can take longer for the full picture to sink in and become reality. hope that helps, i know what i'm thinking but struggle to put it in words, so hope i've not just confused you.
you sound like your doing well coming to terms with whats happened, sometimes you'll feel like your moving forward and then something will knock you back a fgew steps, but with your positive attitude you'll soon move forward again, keep it up and your family will come to terms with everything in time.
wendy

[greybeard]

Hi Mr Bump.

[gsp23]

Hi there and welcome, sounds like you are doing great and come to terms with your new life. Yeah we all go through times where we just crash and maybe cry and say this really sucks but 99.9% of the time most of us accept it and move on with life appreciative of what we have. It sounds like you are accepting things better than your family and I have to say that that actually seems pretty typical. I know my family had a much more difficult time accepting my situation than I did and they held on to me being "back to normal" much longer than I did. I was paralyzed above my eyebrows so each bit that I got back I just appreciated more and more and this is life and it could be so much worse. What I found worked for me and getting people to accept things better was just keeping on doing your thing and trying hard to learn modified ways of doing things. My boyfriend of many years (we live together) accepted things first as he saw me researching and learning how to do things myself and not needing him to do things for me. My famiily that didnt see it as much would worry about helping me with my chair into my truck (which I could do myself) or out walking around for the day they would think I needed help with someone pushing me. They are better now but my mom still panics when I go down curbs and on long day trips to like to fairs, etc she keeps asking if I need someone to push me. Even if I get tired I'm too stubborn and will do it myself

Anyways, my point is when they see you figuring out ways to do things they will come more to terms with it, at least thats how it seemed in my opinion. Assuming you are still figuring things out but just ask questions here and do research as there are modified ways for quads/paras to do so many things is unbelievable... no hand function, you can still do your own BMs in many cases given time and practice to use the correct modifications. Door knobs, zippers, etc you name it there is a mod for many things out there.

[dom]

Hello how are you? welcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sweeper]

dom, on Apr 3 2009, 08:06 PM, said:

Hello how are you? welcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi,
I would just like to pass on a gem that I got from another mother of a quad while my son was still in rehab: She said " welcome to the idiot zone" People dont know what to say or how to cope so they said the first thing that comes out. Usually inappropriate, insensitive or just plain stupid.... forgive them , its their issue.

[topperf]

Welcome Bump.

Quote

been offered tendon transfers for my fingers, no function there, worth doin ? any1 had any negative reactions ?

I've been offered surgery for my triceps which I have turned down, they told me between 6 - 8 months for each arm without any guaranties.
I'm gonna try every other option there is (incl. Xcell in Germany) before I let them perform irreversible surgery on me - but that´s just me ..