Posted 05 July 2009 - 05:15 AM
I'm not a parent, but I was a kid when I had my accident and became a paraplegic, so I can tell you something of the child's angle.
To tell you the truth, kids tend to cope with things like this easier in the beginning. When I first woke up after being in an induced coma for two weeks, I just sort of went with it. I didn't get the chance to slow down and think about it, so I just understood that I had to deal with it. There weren't any moments where I asked why. Of course, I was also on heavy pain killers, so I doubt I was coherent enough to actually think like that, but it really is just something that becomes accepted after a while.
When it comes to bowel and bladder control, that took me a while to understand and even now I slack off some times. For the kid it becomes part of their daily routine, and just like you helping them dress and everything else you do, eventually they'll probably pick it up themselves. It took me a while to learn how to cath myself, but it comes with practice and I wouldn't worry if they don't pick it up quickly. When they do gain interest in taking care of themselves, do it the same way you would with potty training. Check on them, help them if needed. Thats about it.
I think the hardest part for parents is that they have to watch their kids struggle. It really is something that you have to do or independence won't come easy. There are things that will totally surprise you that they just picked up. I managed to learn how to butt-bump up and down steps because my mom wasn't coming to get me fast enough.
Personally, I would ask you as parents to be there more psychologically there for your kids. The puberty/middle school age is incredibly hard for kids with disabilities if they are mixed into a normal crowd. Thats when a kid wants to fit in the most but a chair can seriously make them feel out of the norm. If you can, find other kids who are in similar situations to just hang out with them and go through that faze with them.
Quando omni flunkus mortati.
No seriously, it works.