Hikkakaru, on Jul 15 2009, 05:40 PM, said:
Hey Dawg.
I understand your point. It's completely valid. I guess 'we youngins' just follow a different methodology for things than that of our elders. BUT, let's look at this from yet another viewpoint.
People whom are, and were, YOUR elders' grew up in a time of real racial hatred. A lot of phrasing and terminology was grandfathered into our current day vocabulary from that time, but that's besides the point.
Let's say that an 85 year old man in a nursing home calls an African American employee there 'boy' out of habit whilst at the same time complementing him for something that he had done or had.
"That's a might impressive time-piece you got there, boy."
The old man obviously meant nothing ill-willed of it, but he used a racially insensitive term along with his compliment. It was either sleight of mouth or just an honest ignorance of the harsh feelings that the word conjures in ones' head. He absolutely meant nothing negative and was honestly complimenting the man's watch.
We then have to ask the question, does ignorance give people the right to be insensitive to the blight of others?
I know that this is where I will differ from most others, but I do not believe that ignorance is any excuse to harm others physically or emotionally.
No matter what age or era you are from, it has been universally seen as a negative to be ostracized and separated from the main herd by physical or mental handicaps. For the woman to just remind me of that by the addendum of "you people" in her phrasing just exemplifies the fact that I am infact disabled, and different, than others. I understand that she was trying to be kind, and I know that in her mind she did no wrong, but regardless of age if she had really thought of her phrasing--unless of course she was just an idiot to begin with, she would have seen how it could have the power to offend.
Dog, you should know by now that you don't need the paragraph disclaimer avoiding conflict with me, unless you're going out of your way to be a prick ;) We can always have rational conversations man to dog.
Sam
Sam, I don't need to go out of my way to be a prick. I think it may come naturally. Unintentionally but naturally.
You make a good point. One can offend, insult, hurt, not meaning to. Not wanting to. By not putting enough thought into what we say before we say it. Crap spews out, gets all over everything and stings like hell. No matter how quick we are with a rag, the damage is already done.
But I also think intention ought to be looked at. Had the old broad intended to hurt you it would have been one thing. And worth havin' a lil' chit chat with her letting her know that "yes, what you just said hurt and makes me feel like the leggless, useless piece of shit that I already know I am. Thanx you ancient drain on society for reminding me, did you know your kids can't wait till you die so they can shit all over that antique furniture you've been saving JUST FOR THEM?"
Since she did not intend to hurt you, I believe she could be more easily forgiven. Either stop and explain what you feel she did wrong, ameliorating her ignorance. Or simply by smiling, giving her a thousand yard stare and being on your way.
I think my concern here isn't so much with the old lady or what she said or what she meant by it. What came out of her mouth went into your ear. She split the scene not giving it another thought. Irregularity caused by the salad dressing she ate in the restaurant had more effect on her than what she said to you or how you felt about it.
But you took what she said, analyzed it, made sure you saw it as an insult, albeit an unintentional insult, and have clung to it ever since. Obviously the anger from this resentment affects only one person. And it sure as shit ain't the old lady. She's probably dead by now,never having been affected by your anger. But you, my friend, have been tainted by this resentment. To one degree or another it's had an effect on your behavior, outlook etc. ever since that day.
What she did may have pissed you off, but you made the decision to stay pissed off. It's your lack of tolerance for what an old biddy with only half a lick of sense said to you that's caused you to cling to the resentment like a pit bull on crack.
You are responsible for your feelings, not the one woman parkinsons parade.
Like the black guy who was called boy by the old man. He could internalize it and hate old white men for the rest of his life. Or, he could understand the guy didn't really mean any harm and let it go.
POOF! There it goes. Smoke a joint, move on, too many cute butts to ogle, and all that.
I probably didn't make my point clear in my first post, but I was only trying to help YOU. Just hate seeing you so angry for so long over something so trivial.
Elder huh. You callin' me an old man? Why you lil' whippersnapper I oughta yada yada ya.........................
E
when it absolutely, positively, has to be destroyed overnight, call the Marines.
I will nevah, EVAH take a pinch from a greasy muddahf*@kah like you!
How 'bout if I spell it out for ya. D-I-L-L-I-G-A-F
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