3 replies to this topic

[KimAndSophie]

Has anyone else here had to deal with family members making comments like "when are you getting out of the wheelchair?", "That (a wheelchair) is no place for a young girl.", or this morning I simply made the comment that my mom should check a different website for the weather if she constantly complains that the one she always checks is wrong and she says "Well all I hear from you is guide dogs and wheelchairs and I'm sick of that!"

I've noticed lately that when my parents are talking to someone they tell tham that I'm "in the wheelchair because of my hips", which I'm not. I just want to move so far away from here! I mean I'm dealing with things just fine, but they don't want to at all so they seem to just not talk about it or make up excuses! It's driving me insane!

I was involved with wheelchair curling and they didn't want to even hear about it. I'd mention it and the subject would be changed so fast I couldn't even remember what I was talking about, and I mentioned that I'd love to start wheelchair racing to my cousin and that really didn't go over well at all and all they keep talking about is going to physio thearphy when I move to the city and how I'm not walking because I'm not doing anything around here (like physio.) and how I need a new neurologist because he said that at this point there is very little physio. could accomplish except for upper body strength.

I will be working on that when I move to the city. Has anyone else had this problem?

Please HELP!

[Simon]

Hi
Clearly all your family have a problem accepting you as you are nnow, and presumeably will be forever (I'm assuming you're spinally injured?).
Unfortunately, either you ignore the comments or as they seem to be driving you mad that isn't an option you may have to sit your parents down and tell them straight, this is who I am now accept it or I'm out of here.
Its blunt but the reality of the situation.
Good luck
Simon

[Lucydog]

Oh I really do sympathise with you as Ive had some similar problems, not so much with immediate family, but old family friends and also my father in law and his wife, as he cant look me in the eye.

To some extent I think its a generational thing, pre war are much worse than post war. I guess, if you think about it they have never had any experience with anything like this before so I guess its as hard for them as well in a way. Really they should get some sort of professional help because they are probably grieving their little girl.

The fact is this isnt going to kill you, so they have to realise that your life isnt over, its just beginning. I always make a point of saying Im not ILL just incapacitated. Im sure your life is going to be just as wonderful after sci as before, its just a different path, and I know that many of the goods things Ive experienced Id never have seen if life was 'normal'.

At the end of the day its YOUR life, and if they cannot change their attitudes then it may be time for you to start planning independent living.

[Joed]

~lilnewfie~....

I agree with both posts above....it needs to be laid out on the table and talked about. You alread know what you need to say...but don't forget to listen attentively too. But, it sounds like they're quite closed about the subject, so getting them to talk about it at all might be difficult, if not impossible.

I hope some resolution can be found, because feeling like you're having to go on the defensive everyday isn't healthy. And I'm sure you've enough on your plate without having that on top of it too.

Lucydog...

That's interesting about the pre/post war attitudes. Now I'll probably be pondering that all day.