Help
I am hurting really bad right now. I just broke up with my boyfriend who is a para. In our short relationship he has has had 3 surguries and our whole relationship has revolved aroung his health issues. I have stood by his side. He is truely an amazing man and I have never met someone like him in my life. He is everything I have ever looked for. When I am with him times are good. WHen I am with out him, I am consumed by worry and stress over his health matters.
15 years ago my first love was in an accident that resulted in an SCI. I never imagined I would get involved with someone new years later with a similar condition.
I find my self crying myself to sleep and pains of the past keep flashing in front of me. The difference between my ex and this man is my ex gave up. My ex let the injury ruin his life. He never emotionally has recovered. Sometimes I dont think I have either
I ended my relationship with my new man recently. Our relationship is wonderful and I feel like I felt like I was falling in love. I ended it because I cant cope with all the health matters and my past is haunting me in. I feel emotionally exhausted and am worried about his future health conditions. I also worry about our sexual realtionship. I havent fully explored that with him and was too scared to go all the way. I am plauged with fear and my fear has made me give up the best man I have ever known.
I feel selfish and awful. We both adored each other so much. I feel like it is so unfair to continue with him when I am going through this behind closed doors. The issues are all mine and I feel so lost. Can someone share some insight.
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Broken Relationship
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#2 *onion*
Posted 27 February 2006 - 03:01 AM
yes you are hurting very much right now. And I am so sorry for your pain. But life is all about decisions. And some of us want to kick ourselves in the butt for the decisions we've made. But we have to make them. Do alot of soul surching and then trust you inner most feelings and let the chips fall where they may.
#3
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- Country:Massachusetts
- Spinal Injury Level / Relationship:Best friend T4 complete
Posted 28 February 2006 - 06:14 PM
Hi there. Only you yourself know what you can and cannot deal with. Those are the choices we have to make i guess. Maybe you just need a bit of time away from each other to decide if all the great outweighs the bad that sometimes accompanies it. I wish you the best!
#4 *want2love*
Posted 28 February 2006 - 10:17 PM
Thank You for your supportive messages. Right now all I can do is cry. I wish I was a stronger person. I am hoping a little time will help me figure this out
#5
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Posted 05 March 2006 - 08:39 AM
It's good to cry sometimes..to release all your emotions what ever it is.
There's a time for crying,time for grieving,time for making decission,time to look forward and leave behind the past.And time to move on...it takes time.But sooner,you'll be find the way to overcome all of this.Be strong and pray to God...."THE LORD DID NOT PROMISE THAT LIFE WOULD BE EASY...BUT HE DID PROMISE TO BE WITH YOU IN TIMES OF SADNESS AND IN TROUBLE."
There's a time for crying,time for grieving,time for making decission,time to look forward and leave behind the past.And time to move on...it takes time.But sooner,you'll be find the way to overcome all of this.Be strong and pray to God...."THE LORD DID NOT PROMISE THAT LIFE WOULD BE EASY...BUT HE DID PROMISE TO BE WITH YOU IN TIMES OF SADNESS AND IN TROUBLE."
Naughty Carer (SKMC)
#6 *want2love*
Posted 06 March 2006 - 03:06 AM
Thanks Carolline. i have been crying myself to sleep every night. I have made a mess of everything. Thank you for your kind words. I know I need to trust in God more now than ever, because i dont seem to know what I am doing.
#7
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- Spinal Injury Level / Relationship:Incomplete para
Posted 06 March 2006 - 05:07 AM
Try and identify what your fears are...and be specific. Then look to see which ones are realistic, and which ones are based on irrational thinking. We, people in general, sabotage ourselves all the time with the irrational, sub-conscious things we tell ourselves about our 'reality'. Examine your thinking as neutrally as you can.
Be very careful in not making assumptions or expectations about this relationship based on your past relationship with someone else with a disability.
It's obvious that you're not happy with the way things are. And I'd hate to see you turn away from something potentially wonderful...but you're the only one who knows what your limits are and what you're willing to commit to. I wish you luck in whatever you decide.
Be very careful in not making assumptions or expectations about this relationship based on your past relationship with someone else with a disability.
It's obvious that you're not happy with the way things are. And I'd hate to see you turn away from something potentially wonderful...but you're the only one who knows what your limits are and what you're willing to commit to. I wish you luck in whatever you decide.
* * * * * * * * *
Female. Incomplete para following a cord stroke in '03. Spina-bifida, severe scoliosis. 18 surgeries total...five spine-related: Three fusions w/hardware, two tethered cord releases.
Female. Incomplete para following a cord stroke in '03. Spina-bifida, severe scoliosis. 18 surgeries total...five spine-related: Three fusions w/hardware, two tethered cord releases.
#8
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Posted 31 March 2006 - 02:24 AM
Please pray. We are not back together. I still care for him so much. He is back in the hospital again. 2 weeks after our break up He had surgery number 5. Thats 5 in 5 months. I went to see him upon his permission. My heart broke all over again. I just cant handle all the hospital issues. It turns me into a mess. I am crying all the time. Now they think this surgery (#5) did not work. Next step is mayo. Life is so unfair, he is so alive, so beautiful and so kind.
I feel like a coward. I feel like I have the inner strenght of a flea. I just keep praying!!
I feel like a coward. I feel like I have the inner strenght of a flea. I just keep praying!!
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