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The trip we are considering is either a 3 hour flight, or a 24 hour drive. There are issues on both sides. Being able to bring with you, in a car, all that is comfortable, ie: wheelchair, walker, potty, bath transfer seat, gives one some control over one's life. Versus making it really much easier on the spouse, who says we can prearrange the rental of everything you need when we get there. I will capitulate and do the driving. But he has no idea what a responsibility he's putting on me. I not only have to worry about him and his tolarance to take the travel, I have to do all the driving, I have to worry about every lodging we stop at. And I have to worry about how tired I am. Help me out here, he is not listening to my reasoning
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Travel
Which is better plane or car?
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#2
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Posted 28 February 2006 - 12:40 PM
-Ok Onion, Ive read quite a lot of your postings and I feel you should see if you can get some counselling for a start. Then you need to stick your husband in respite care for a week, and thirdly start to take control of your life again. At the moment you moan about doing everything, but what about saying NO? You are not there to be 'walked all over' or manipulated by your spouse. You do have your own life you know.
As for flying over driving, are you crazy???????? Fly Fly Fly. it has to be your way or no way here. For once tell him you are going to fly and he will do as hes told. After all he doesnt really have much choice does he?
Time to get tough.
As for flying over driving, are you crazy???????? Fly Fly Fly. it has to be your way or no way here. For once tell him you are going to fly and he will do as hes told. After all he doesnt really have much choice does he?
Time to get tough.
#3
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Posted 28 February 2006 - 04:14 PM
Well the only way I would consider a 24hr drive in over 2 or 3 days, not one continous drive. My wife and I both drive so we share driving but 24 hours it too much.
incidentally, it might actually be cheaper to fly and hire a car than drive.
incidentally, it might actually be cheaper to fly and hire a car than drive.
Robert
T6 (Transverse Myelitis))
T6 (Transverse Myelitis))
#4 *onion*
Posted 01 March 2006 - 03:09 AM
Lucydog, on Feb 28 2006, 12:40 PM, said:
and thirdly start to take control of your life again.
That is the point. The situation is in control right now. We are both struggling to regain control. And we did seek counselling on this matter. And the counselor said: "Take a quart of Jack Daniels and fly." My husband reply: reluctance. Counselor: "Your wife has to do everything for you right now, and there is nothing you can do about it." "But you can let her have less stress." "She has to worry about you, about the accomodations that might not be all they said they be, the driving, and suppose she got sick. You'd be calling me up to come get you, and I'm not saying I would not do it." My husbands response reluctance.
The end result: you two really have to discuss this.
There is a reason for the fear of flying. On the return home from Viet Nam to Hawaii, (first stop) the plane he was in lost an engine, the engine adjacent caught fire, all engines were killed. A nose dive ensued. I guess he feels lucky he survied a war. And he survied a near plane crash. He could not control the war, but he can certainly control flying.
I'm too tired to do a spell check. Hope you understand what I was trying to say.
And yes I use this site to moan, please don't take that away from me
#5
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Posted 03 March 2006 - 12:06 AM
Flying over driving?
I’d rather drive, but that’s me I love driving and if I was to drive it would be me that would put all my things in and out of the car and me driving, but that’s me I’m still young and I love to drive.
You say it’s a 24-hour drive? I’ll drive you there I’ve mad panty of long 24-hour drives I love them, music going windows down heater on full (right now it’s cool where I’m at) and it’s just you and the road I love it.
I thank me and my car have a better bond then me and my girl friend but sssshhhhhh she doesn’t need to know that.
I’d rather drive, but that’s me I love driving and if I was to drive it would be me that would put all my things in and out of the car and me driving, but that’s me I’m still young and I love to drive.
You say it’s a 24-hour drive? I’ll drive you there I’ve mad panty of long 24-hour drives I love them, music going windows down heater on full (right now it’s cool where I’m at) and it’s just you and the road I love it.
I thank me and my car have a better bond then me and my girl friend but sssshhhhhh she doesn’t need to know that.
..........Chris, T3 complete paraplegic..........
..........One Day I’ll Be Free, Free To Be Anything I Want To Be, Until That Day You’ll See What They Want Me To Be ..........
..........It's Better To Be Hated For Who You Are Than Loved For Who Your Not..........
..........One Day I’ll Be Free, Free To Be Anything I Want To Be, Until That Day You’ll See What They Want Me To Be ..........
..........It's Better To Be Hated For Who You Are Than Loved For Who Your Not..........
#6 *onion*
Posted 27 March 2006 - 04:25 AM
Thanks bubbleandsqueak
And I contemplated your offer for sometime. Here's the compromise we've come up with: auto train. I will have to drive for 5 1/2 hours to the auto train station. It is a 16-hour trip by train. But they have been very helpful, and have offered special disability accommodations, including a 15% discount. We will be unable to get to the dining car, so they offered to bring the meals to our room, which was especially designed with the handicapped in mind. I am still very apprehensive, but he will, when we get to our destination, have everything we can pack in the van that will make him feel more comfortable for the month we plan to stay. Before I get toooo confident, has anyone else traveled by auto train? Please remember my husband is a total assist in that he cannot take care of himself in any way. But I do find recently that it is an easier assist, if that makes sense to anyone. He's participating more, making it easier for me.
And I contemplated your offer for sometime. Here's the compromise we've come up with: auto train. I will have to drive for 5 1/2 hours to the auto train station. It is a 16-hour trip by train. But they have been very helpful, and have offered special disability accommodations, including a 15% discount. We will be unable to get to the dining car, so they offered to bring the meals to our room, which was especially designed with the handicapped in mind. I am still very apprehensive, but he will, when we get to our destination, have everything we can pack in the van that will make him feel more comfortable for the month we plan to stay. Before I get toooo confident, has anyone else traveled by auto train? Please remember my husband is a total assist in that he cannot take care of himself in any way. But I do find recently that it is an easier assist, if that makes sense to anyone. He's participating more, making it easier for me.
#7
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Posted 27 March 2006 - 11:30 AM
Hi Onion....the train sounds good to me. No I havent travelled by auto train but it sounds like they are willing to help you out with what you need and it will give you a break from driving. A room designed for disabled people sounds great. I say go for it.
and by the way....moan as much as you like! As far as I am concerned that is a part of what this site is for too!
and by the way....moan as much as you like! As far as I am concerned that is a part of what this site is for too!
#8
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Posted 27 March 2006 - 09:38 PM
As a T7-8 Para, I would pick flying. I am not comfortable in the car for more than about 2 hours, so a 24 hours drive would make me miserable!
para T7-8 since feb 2005
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