11 replies to this topic

[Myssa]

We have two children ages 9 and 5 but our 5 year old Daugher Jazmine has become very attached to my husband since he's been home from rehab. She just started school and doesn't want to go because she says she's scared he won't be at home when she gets back. She cries to the point of making her self sick when I take her to school, until his accident she was a big time mommy's girl.

Has anyone had their kids become very attached after a SCI and what did you do to help?

[kiwiquad]

Would it be possible for your husband to travel to school with you all as a family unit in the morning, &/or afternoon? This may make her feel more secure.
Good luck.

[Courtney]

I agree with the above post......I know that it's a pain, but if he can transfer into the car (just leave the chair at home since you will probably be coming right back) try having him go with you to drop her off and pick her up......I think that I'm just lucky to have two ridicuously well adjusted children. It also may take her a little while to adjust.....you guys are still very new to this

[Myssa]

We've tired all going as a family but him coming makes it worse. It ended up with me ripping her off him and her sreaming 'Daddy I need to stay with you, i'm youre princess Jazmine you need me' and her getting sick all over the place. A friend said I should let her ride the bus with our son but I don't know if I can put my baby on the bus, I just let my son start riding it this year at 9 years old.

[kiwiquad]

This maybe a little ott, but Jazmine may need some counselling to help her overcome her fear of daddy not being there when she gets home.??

[wheeliebear75]

I was just going to suggest getting her into counseling. Although your husband is a grown-up if his rehab does not offer counseling for such a young child you might want to try the Children's Hospital in your area. They do help children through their counseling programs & many of their counselors have helped children deal with the illness or injury of a sibling & I'm sure they would be a great source of information & help.

My sister was 6yrs old when I was hurt........but she wasn't too traumatized by it even though she was next to me; but counseling was provided for her just the same. And as for my own kids this happened to me before any of my kids were born so my kids have always known me being this way.

Best of luck to all of you.

[Myssa]

wheeliebear75, on Sep 12 2009, 02:22 AM, said:

I was just going to suggest getting her into counseling. Although your husband is a grown-up if his rehab does not offer counseling for such a young child you might want to try the Children's Hospital in your area. They do help children through their counseling programs & many of their counselors have helped children deal with the illness or injury of a sibling & I'm sure they would be a great source of information & help.

My sister was 6yrs old when I was hurt........but she wasn't too traumatized by it even though she was next to me; but counseling was provided for her just the same. And as for my own kids this happened to me before any of my kids were born so my kids have always known me being this way.

Best of luck to all of you.

I think you may be right because I don't see it getting better if anything it's getting worse. I never thought she'd be the one with the problem I thought it would be our son. For the first month everyday he'd sit in the garage with the bikes and sob but he's fine now. You never know.

[Courtney]

Myssa,
My son rode the bus at 5 years old and loved it, he felt like a "big boy" and my 4 year old daughter now begs me to ride it...but since we live two blocks from the school.....I either walk her or take her......however, the counseling couldn't hurt either......you just never know how a child is going to react...

[Myssa]

I let her ride the bus this morning with her brother, she promised me she wouldn't cry and she didn't. The only tears were mine in my car as I drove behind the bus. As I think of it now she has probly been feeding off my stress. Maybe i'm the one who needs to see the shrink.

[Courtney]

I'm glad she didn't cry this morning that's great! Remember to take time out for you too.........I sometimes forget that myself..... You probably need a girls night out like I do! And yes, she may be feeding off of your emotions as well, they can tell when you are stressed out and exhausted even if you don't outwardly show it. Your kids are going to be two of your biggest "helpers" when it comes to your husband and running your household, my son goes with my husband all the time so that he can help him get in and out of the van and up the ramp safely. Most kids just want to be involved in helping their parent with anything......mine actually do more chores around the house to help me out. They have a chore chart on the fridge and know each day what they can do do help mommy whether it's dusting, emptying the dishwasher, cleaning their bathroom--gotta love clorox wipes, doing their own laundry, or taking out the trash. They feel big and important getting to do "grown up" jobs and it takes alot off of my shoulders in trying to keep up with the household chores, cook meals and take care the kids of my husband as well. (Plus it makes them extremely responsible and independant) You will need to function differently as a family unit as you did before--roles change. Before his accident, Duke was a very involved husband when it came to household duties, he did everything from laundry to dinner. It was a huge adjustment to do it all on my own....so I enlisted my kids help. Duke can still do things around the house (and eventually once we build and have a house suited for all of his needs, I am looking forward to him cooking again because he is a better cook than I am!) but I also feel that I am teaching my children good values as well......

PS. Duke said to get Brady door stops or extended handles for the doors in your home for a present opening doors is a pain for a quad

[Myssa]

Courtney, on Sep 14 2009, 11:36 AM, said:

I'm glad she didn't cry this morning that's great! Remember to take time out for you too.........I sometimes forget that myself..... You probably need a girls night out like I do! And yes, she may be feeding off of your emotions as well, they can tell when you are stressed out and exhausted even if you don't outwardly show it. Your kids are going to be two of your biggest "helpers" when it comes to your husband and running your household, my son goes with my husband all the time so that he can help him get in and out of the van and up the ramp safely. Most kids just want to be involved in helping their parent with anything......mine actually do more chores around the house to help me out. They have a chore chart on the fridge and know each day what they can do do help mommy whether it's dusting, emptying the dishwasher, cleaning their bathroom--gotta love clorox wipes, doing their own laundry, or taking out the trash. They feel big and important getting to do "grown up" jobs and it takes alot off of my shoulders in trying to keep up with the household chores, cook meals and take care the kids of my husband as well. (Plus it makes them extremely responsible and independant) You will need to function differently as a family unit as you did before--roles change. Before his accident, Duke was a very involved husband when it came to household duties, he did everything from laundry to dinner. It was a huge adjustment to do it all on my own....so I enlisted my kids help. Duke can still do things around the house (and eventually once we build and have a house suited for all of his needs, I am looking forward to him cooking again because he is a better cook than I am!) but I also feel that I am teaching my children good values as well......

PS. Duke said to get Brady door stops or extended handles for the doors in your home for a present opening doors is a pain for a quad

You are very right about the kids wanting to help, this accident has changed our kids so much. I'll be the first to say before this happened they were SPOILED, if they said jump we said how high. They both saw the accident and from that second they grew up in a big way.

[trina]

Myssa, on Sep 10 2009, 06:19 PM, said:

We have two children ages 9 and 5 but our 5 year old Daugher Jazmine has become very attached to my husband since he's been home from rehab. She just started school and doesn't want to go because she says she's scared he won't be at home when she gets back. She cries to the point of making her self sick when I take her to school, until his accident she was a big time mommy's girl.

Has anyone had their kids become very attached after a SCI and what did you do to help?

My husband is a c-4 and just got of rehab too. I have a 7 year old son and I have a hard time with getting him to school too. He is afraid that I though will not be there when he gets home and he wants to stay and help me with daddy. I had him seeing a family counsaler and he also saw the school's. She seemed to help him seem more at ease with leaving home.