6 replies to this topic

[buff]

hey all....sorry its been so long. tuck and i have been going through a lot lately. he has been so depressed and really mean lately so we decided to take a break. well turns out he has been using heroin for the last 3 months. this breaks my heart and i don't know what to do. i heard it through a mutual friend and asked him about it and he said that he was. i was fine with our taking time apart when i thought he was just a selfish dick and not the person i loved anymore. but now that i know he still is the man i love and just not in the right state of mind, i'm not sure how to deal with it. maybe if he had confided in me i might have been willing to try to help him get past it. but he hid it from me, i feel like i have been cheated on. he chose that stuff over a life with me (the person that he supposidly loved more than anything in the world). i told him that i feel like we would have worked out if he had not started using and he said i was right that we would have. i was his life, his pride and joy, and then.......i meant nothing. or so i thought, and its easy to walk away when you think they don't care anymore. in fact i was fine for two weeks after we broke up until i found this out....then it felt like somebody ripped my heart out. i don't know why and i don't know what to do. any suggestions?

[chickadee]

I guess the first question from me would be... does he want to get better?

[wheeliebear75]

AB addict or addict in a w/c.....same thing.....still an addict; you've got the same problem as anyone who is seriously involved with someone who uses/abuses drugs. His being in a w/c doesn't excuse it, it only complicates things. Maybe he was using the heroin to "cope" with the paralysis but that isn't coping that's covering it up or sweeping it under the carpet. I don't know what to give as far as advice goes.

Big hugs & the best of luck!

[buff]

here is the thing about him being an addict. i have known him since i was 5 we stopped being close cause of his addiction. then he fell over three years ago now and he has not touched the stuff since he fell over 3 years ago...until now. thats what i dont' get. he did not NEED to start again he has been in his chair for almost 4 years and he felt that the fall saved his life and put him on a better path. so why go back to the wrong one?

chickadee, on Sep 23 2009, 07:29 PM, said:

I guess the first question from me would be... does he want to get better?

NO i dont' feel that he does want help or want to fix it. when we broke up he didn't try to hold on to me at all (he was high) but he does not even pretend he wants to quit to hold on to me. so the answer i think is NO he does not want to get better...right now anyway

[ohio4282]

wheeliebear75, on Sep 24 2009, 01:29 AM, said:

AB addict or addict in a w/c.....same thing.....still an addict; you've got the same problem as anyone who is seriously involved with someone who uses/abuses drugs. His being in a w/c doesn't excuse it, it only complicates things. Maybe he was using the heroin to "cope" with the paralysis but that isn't coping that's covering it up or sweeping it under the carpet. I don't know what to give as far as advice goes.

Big hugs & the best of luck!

This is the truth. I have some experience with addiction and it is never easy and it is never pretty. As for why, who knows? All I can say is that an addict will always be an addict and feel a pull towards using again. Have you heard the saying "One is too many and a thousand is never enough"?

The hardest part is not being able to do anything. Everyone has a bottom. You can't help someone find theirs. The best advice I can give is to not even try. That will only make you miserable and probably cause him to resent you, in the end. Live your life. Take care of you.

I've lived with this crap my entire life. I don't feel that comfortable going into more detail, but if you want to chat more, feel free to PM me.

[qbounce]

Look, for all you know he's been doing the drugs for awhile, and you only NOW found out about it.
My advice, you can't fix what he doesn't want help fixing. It's solely up to him, so don't even go there.

Sounds to me like you've been down this road with him before. Do you really want to get sucked back into his world of drugs, lies, and deception again?

Yah, I've been there. My Ex-Wife sucked the life out of me for years this way. In and out of rehab to many times to count. And, her drug of choice . . . . whatever she could get her hands on, including my pain meds after my SCI.

I'm married to someone else now, and so much happier to be out of that termoil.

[dom]

ketamine-just say neigh......