25 replies to this topic

[McTavish]

1. Iron your clothes only on the front.

2. Shoes never wear out.

3. Get the best parking spaces.

4.Have a seat where ever we go.

4. Don't pay the toll plaza (Ireland)

5.Rebate on petrol (Ireland)

6 New cars V.A.T. free.

Can you add to this list, maybe the country you are in can do better.

[guido]

Concessions

Greater breadth of knowledge and understanding of others.

Know who your friends are

Edited by guido, 06 October 2009 - 04:37 PM.

[guido]

As an aside:

should add to McTavish's "VAT free on new cars" that if you bought the car at zero-rate VAT then you are also entitled to have your car serviced at zero rated VAT - just have to sign a declaration, which if garage don't know about it you can find on the govt site on internet.

(always seems an unfair system as the people who could do with servicing and repairs being FOC are the same ones that can't afford a new car... that's the infinite wisdom of the govt for you...)

Also NO Congestion Charge in London!

[greybeard]

guido, on Oct 6 2009, 05:36 PM, said:

Also NO Congestion Charge in London!

I can do London cheaper than that. - - - Stay away from the place!!

[guido]

greybeard, on Oct 6 2009, 05:42 PM, said:

I can do London cheaper than that. - - - Stay away from the place!!

"Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford."
— Samuel Johnson

(But yes, problem is not many CAN afford!)

[Jax]

Lapdances

Some free drinks...

Reaction value getting in and out the pickup I have (a bit higher from the ground than it was when I got it)

(Soon, I hope) reaction value getting on and off a motorcycle.

Running over peoples' feet "accidentally" and getting away with it.

Reaction value getting up on barstools.

Carbon fiber wheels.

[Angela250153]

guido, on Oct 6 2009, 05:36 PM, said:

Also NO Congestion Charge in London!

Too much hassle and paperwork for the odd occassion you might go into London during the week in the daytime. Evenings and weekends are free anyway.

[guido]

Angela250153, on Oct 8 2009, 11:25 AM, said:

guido, on Oct 6 2009, 05:36 PM, said:

Also NO Congestion Charge in London!

Too much hassle and paperwork for the odd occassion you might go into London during the week in the daytime. Evenings and weekends are free anyway.

I know this is meant to be a light-hearted thread, but really it's no hassle. You fill in a form and produce a copy of proof that you are eligible (fair enough) and then that's it: system recognises your number plate and bingo... FREE.. say it again, oh yes FREEEEEEEEE.... nothing else to do, just drive around London all day just because you can....

[Denny]

guido, on Oct 8 2009, 01:39 PM, said:

Angela250153, on Oct 8 2009, 11:25 AM, said:

guido, on Oct 6 2009, 05:36 PM, said:

Also NO Congestion Charge in London!

Too much hassle and paperwork for the odd occassion you might go into London during the week in the daytime. Evenings and weekends are free anyway.

I know this is meant to be a light-hearted thread, but really it's no hassle. You fill in a form and produce a copy of proof that you are eligible (fair enough) and then that's it: system recognises your number plate and bingo... FREE.. say it again, oh yes FREEEEEEEEE.... nothing else to do, just drive around London all day just because you can....

Yeah it is free to be stuck in London traffic and nothing to do.

[greybeard]

guido, on Oct 8 2009, 01:39 PM, said:

just drive around London all day just because you can....

You mean voluntarily? Jeez! What a horrible thought. Sod that. Find a bit of countryside to drive in (but preferably not my bit!).

[guido]

greybeard, on Oct 8 2009, 02:17 PM, said:

guido, on Oct 8 2009, 01:39 PM, said:

just drive around London all day just because you can....

You mean voluntarily? Jeez! What a horrible thought. Sod that. Find a bit of countryside to drive in (but preferably not my bit!).

Haha! Your Honour - Let the record state that I live happily in the countryside and do not have so much spare time that I drive pointlessly around London for my kicks - though I do know a lot of the short cuts and back roads once there!!!

Are we getting a little off thread?

[wheelywendy]

!) you always get straight to the front of the queue at alton towers, drayton manor etc!! i like no queuing.
2) no matter where you go you always have a seat!
3) you can have your dog trained to help you , then you can take your dog with you where ever you go, constant companion
4) if someone stands tro close to you at a cash point you can turn and squash their toes with your wheels!
5) most peolpe will go out of their way to open doors for you
6) just at right height for those leather clad mens butts at motorbike shows!
7 days out often admit two for the same price as one ie carer/partner free

[chickadee]

If you accidentally tuck toilet paper into the back of your pants, you won't be photographed and then posted on a site like People of Walmart.

Observe:

[tmcph]

1)that you're not a quad

Edited by tmcph, 12 October 2009 - 06:25 PM.

[Ratticis]

1. Always got a conversation starter
2. Chicks dig scars
3. The government pays for education
4. You're alive!
5. Get away with making gimp jokes
6. Proving people who say "you can't" wrong
7. Don't hafta stand when someone important enters the room
8. You're not the only one

[ClaraTaylor]

When you can't be bothered it doesn't matter.
Because everyone around you expects you to be a brain damaged vegetable. Sometimes it's just easier to let them get on with it.

[wheeliebear75]

Say when's the last time any of you got asked to help a friend move their furniture around? Yup perk #? no worries when your friends move you won't have to make up any excuses we've already got the most iron clad escape clause known to man.

[ClaraTaylor]

Shoes last longer.

[guido]

Yep, but that has it's drawbacks: having some(spatially unaware)one else try and pack big items into a car is quite painful, especially when they don't appreciate your input as they're doing you a FAVOUR!!!

wheeliebear75, on Oct 13 2009, 07:17 AM, said:

Say when's the last time any of you got asked to help a friend move their furniture around? Yup perk #? no worries when your friends move you won't have to make up any excuses we've already got the most iron clad escape clause known to man.

[Ches]

Getting to have bad ass cars cause we "need" them.

Being the envy of all the sore airplane asses on board(having cushion)

Having the local Starbucks (no drive-thru) bring my coffee to me!

[wheeels]

1) Get moved to the front of the line a lot
2) bumped to first class when flying
3) No guilt using the accessible bathroom

Ratticis - "Government pays for education?" Where is this and how do I get it?

[ClaraTaylor]

The only comfortable chair in the class room!

[qbounce]

So your out in public, and trying to "fit in" with the crowd, but not getting anywhere. Or, maybe your in a boring face-to-face conversation, and need a quick escape. You already get the stares, so there is no such thing as descreet, right? Useing these non-verbal cues will ensure you to be either the life of the party, or the death of it, and will guarantee you an easy into or out of ANY situation.

* Readers Note: Just don't blame me if one desired affect warrents the opposite reaction.

Use these tips at family get togethers, especially with kin that haven't seen you in awhile. Barmitzvah's, birthday party's (not your own of course), weddings, school, work, or even out shopping.

1.Blank stares

2. Start drooling (a bib is an excellent prop)

3. Babble (and I mean top 'o the lungs, crazy guy with dirty nails and a cardboard house rant)

4. Twitch and cuss (the 'ol terrets ploy)

5. Fall backwards, or out of your chair . . . . . often.

6. Use a cheshire cat smile, The. Whole. Night. (This works best without uttering one solitary word.)

7. Drop your drinks in all neighbors laps. It's simple, just wear your watch inside the wrist, and hold a drink in the same hand. When you feel the need to dump a drink, feign looking at the time, and oops . . . . in your neighbors lap.

8. Roll and go catatonic. Roll in the middle of a shopping isle or room, then stop wheeling. Make sure to drop the head to one side, and keep your mouth open for that realistic effect. This one works best when you continue on into a wall or an unsuspecting AB.

So, why are these fun party games in THIS thread, you ask? You can do all these great things and never have to say "I'm sorry." Mix and match, add your own flair, and just Go For It!

[Ratticis]

I always did #3&4 before getting gimped. There was a movie (can't remember what it was called) where a guy had teerets in court and was being badgered by the female prosecuter when all of a sudden he goes '****!' And she was.
Anywhoo, last year I was at 'A Taste Of Edmonton' with my sister. It's an overpriced festival o food put on by local restaurants. $2.50 for a 591ml bottle of Coke! I remember when it was $1 for 600ml! O god, I sound like a crotchety old guy. Anyway, the last bit of food we got was deep fried icecream (if you havn't tried it, you're missing out!). We were parked about a block away and in a hurry, so we decided that while I ate she would push. Well by the time we got about half way to the car I was done eating and she was still pushing, so I slumped over like I was asleep and started drooling like a baby in a carriage.

[chickadee]

- Having the tramp stamp that you totally earned.

[dangerousdave]

Picking up a bar stool and smashing it down on the bar
Sorry didn't see you, the drinks on the house.

Getting to a camp site .. throwing the tent to a group of bi-peds .. watching them errect it while I start on my stach of beer
Actualy .. I do it a bit more polietly

Edited by dangerousdave, 03 November 2009 - 10:41 AM.