4 replies to this topic

[myvanya]

I wanted to introduce myself... My sister received an accidental gunshot wound earlier this year (not due to negligence- it was a really strange accident) causing a spinal cord injury (the bullet lodged in her spine). She was actually starting to regain feeling after the injusry when she got a clot in her spine which was not discovered for a few days. That caused a lot of damage and actually increased the amount of paralysis she had I honestly don't know the official classification of her injury at this point but she is paralyzed from about the ribcage down.

She is now in rehab at an assisted living facility. I live in a different state and have really struggled to learn more about how best to help her and what her prognosis is (for lack of a better term) as the family that is close by isn't always accurate. I am really glad to find this forum and hopefully learn more about how best I can support her. I wish she could move out here (I am a couple states away) but as of yet that hasn't been possible I guess (it would be good as there would be more people out here to help her out). She has had a lot of difficulty with pain, infection, and low blood pressure- I always wish I knew more to help her. For right now we talk on the phone frequently and do my best to be there for her...I always wish I coudl do more.

So, Hi, and thanks in advance

[Tetracyclone]

myvanya, on Nov 2 2009, 05:40 PM, said:

I wanted to introduce myself... My sister received an accidental gunshot wound earlier this year (not due to negligence- it was a really strange accident) causing a spinal cord injury (the bullet lodged in her spine). She was actually starting to regain feeling after the injusry when she got a clot in her spine which was not discovered for a few days. That caused a lot of damage and actually increased the amount of paralysis she had I honestly don't know the official classification of her injury at this point but she is paralyzed from about the ribcage down.

She is now in rehab at an assisted living facility. I live in a different state and have really struggled to learn more about how best to help her and what her prognosis is (for lack of a better term) as the family that is close by isn't always accurate. I am really glad to find this forum and hopefully learn more about how best I can support her. I wish she could move out here (I am a couple states away) but as of yet that hasn't been possible I guess (it would be good as there would be more people out here to help her out). She has had a lot of difficulty with pain, infection, and low blood pressure- I always wish I knew more to help her. For right now we talk on the phone frequently and do my best to be there for her...I always wish I coudl do more.

So, Hi, and thanks in advance

For now you are doing something very important. You are the person outside her immediate family circle who can allow her to be honest about what she thinks. She is the one who needs to understand her situation and prognosis, so expect her to grill her medical team for information. When she can explain it to you you will know she really understands.

Expect her to be the competent woman she always was. and when the time comes to make decisions about where to go or what to do next, she will make good ones.

A neutral listener who loves her is absolutely invaluable.

pwuff

[qbounce]

Right-on Pwuff!
Glad you found this site. You can always extend the invitation for your sister to stop by here and have a looksie. If there are any questions she's having trouble with, who better to ask than others who've either been there or are going through the same situations?

[doublelibra]

Both answers above are great. I wish I would have had others with an injury like mine to relate to after my accident. I did have a couple of quadriplegics visit me in the hospital, but I didn't continue to see either of them. I discovered this site many years after my injury. Early on, I had to just let out a lot of emotional pain and grief. I used a counselor off and on for several years. That helped me a great deal, although some people may not want/need counseling. Your sister is fortunate to have you for a sister.

[myvanya]

Thanks- so far she hasn't wanted counseling though I wish she would. A lot of it is I wish I knew better what is somewhat "normal" as far as pain, struggles, etc. so I am glad I found this. Its hard to know without being there. I wish she could draw on this knowledge but I doubt she will- she isn't very fond of computers and less os forums, and the facility she is in is really geared more towards the elderly. It really kills me to see her freedom limited and her struggles to learn what she needs to be more independent but I am really trying to be supportive without being unreasonable if that makes sense. I know she misses her pets and her job and her old housing situation (even though due to a freak flood in the middle of the Idaho dessert it was a wreck...my family has had an interesting few years) but I can understand how looking forward into the future can be scary for her too. I guess everyone involved as so many wishes of what might be and what could eb that its hard to balance that with the limitations of reality sometimes....So...yeah. I'm sure I'm not making tons of sense. Thanks for the kind words and I appreciate the insights very much.