Ratticis, on Nov 4 2009, 07:17 PM, said:
So I turns 25 on Friday. Here be a list of things I want. Get me any or all of these and I'll love you forever, or never bother you again. Your choice. BTW, some of these are FREE but my interweb is to crappy to download them so if you wanna burn it to a CD and mail it, please do! There's more, but can't think of them all now.
*MONEY!
* Love
*
Magazine subscription
* A human heart (I gotta pump a lotta blood outta my basement)
* A good woman
* A cure for an SCI
* Super powers
* A couple of blowers
* Laser eyes!
* Big Screen TV
* My own theme song!
* My own tropical island which I could declare a country
* A hug
Now, somebody better plan a huge ass party so you can all bring my gifts and we can all eat, drink, and be merry!
Well son, I was gonna send you some money.
But as it turns out I'm gonna need it to get you the two blowers.
One of them will be a good woman with laser green eyes, who will provide you with love.
The other ain't so hot but she's got a good heart, when she's done she'll give you a hug.
Ya got a subscription to Penthouse on the way.
That will have to hold you till the blowers get there.
This morning when I went to the toilet I saw a nice big, brown floater circling on top of the water so ya got an island all to yer selves.
Just so happens a buddy of mine owns the rights to the music from the Bozo the Clown show. He let me have it for one night with the blowers. Just change up the lyrics a bit, it should be perfect.
The TV you don't need, there will be entertainment enough for two hookers and a Bozo on an island made of shit.
And a cure for SCI's? Silly boy, I'll need the super powers to get that one together.
E
when it absolutely, positively, has to be destroyed overnight, call the Marines.
I will nevah, EVAH take a pinch from a greasy muddahf*@kah like you!
How 'bout if I spell it out for ya. D-I-L-L-I-G-A-F