59 replies to this topic

[Blake]

With the 8th anniversary of my injury coming up i've been thinking about it more then normal. With it being on Christmas it get's over shadowed some but as I get older not as much.

For the first few years I really didn't think of the day other then it being Christmas but for the first time last year I thought of my accident more. I just felt a little more down then I do normaly.

I'm just wondering how some of you deal? Is it a hard day for you?

[Quad65]

I was injured in 1965. It used to bother me a bit but as the years rolled by, less and less.

[LeahC]

I don't think about it. It's quite enough that I have to live with my accident every day without dwelling on the anniversary.

[Ratticis]

I celebrate the fact that I'm still alive. Up yours mortality!

[goldnucs]

As MY luck would have it, I broke my neck on Easter Sunday so I get to "celebrate" twice every year except on those rare occasions that Easter happens to fall on March 26th. For quite a few years, I commemorated by dosing myself with a liberal amount of self-pity chased down with an even more liberal amount of alcohol. As I approach my 32nd year, I continue to notice my anniversarIES less and less with each passing year; probably a result of my aging brain in combination with a schedule that keeps my so busy as to let me forget. Continued liberal dosing of alcohol probably helps as well.

[edlee]

My birthday, five years ago,,,, but the alcohol does help
ed

[guido]

This year (year 6) I forgot the anniversary until a few days later. Not the 1st year that I've forgot. Keeping busy is good for body and soul. There are so many people who could do with help on things that if you can't get paid work, why not look for volunteer work? Or treat yourself to something on the anniversary day, like chocolate cake, a comedy gig or an hour with a beautiful lady! That way it'll be a wonderful day!

[mjtpopus]

This year was the 15th anniversary of my accident. To be honest, the day went by and I didn't even notice. However, it's always on my mind that it has been 15 years. On October 24, 2011, it will have been 17 years and that will officially mark the beginning of having spent more than half my life as a paraplegic. To me, this is more profound, I don't know how I'm going to deal with this.

[Scribbler]

The day of my injury (April 15th) never bothers me. I got a Gong from HRH when I was injured, so I used to joke about getting another medal if I reached 10 years.

Its now been over 50 years, (No Gold Medal) so I look forward to reaching another mile-stone in life; and really enjoy ticking them off now.

[lakewithab]

Hello Blake, Coincidentally (or not) my name is Blake also. However in my case I am a silly 33 year old man. I am a T-12 complete "para".
My anniverssary will be 2 years the the 28th of December. I was in a car wreck commuting to work. How I have been coping, is for the time being accepting and appreciating that all things do not last (good or bad). It all comes and goes in waves (happiness and sadness). So for the time being the best I can manage is when my anniverssary is approaching and then arrives...I brace myself for a somewhat expected accident. I have to remeber that no matter how difficult the day may be, it will pass. I have learned that patience and time are the best remedy for any adversity. I do not and will not ever recommend alcohol consumption! That only numbs and post pones coping with the ineviateble grief of being disabled. The best we can do is learn to embrace the grief and become accustomed to it, so that it will eventually pass through us. Without adding complications physically and psychologically by trying to avoid grief with health and soul damaging substances. Food for thought, you do the dishes. Personally, how I regard my annivessary is as a second birthday. I have to humbly remind myself that I should have died that day. So I get to start over, though it may be as a "new person" of sorts. However not as a "no person", but a "new person". So if you can, get a second birthday cake for your anniverssary. Keep yo' head up, and I'll try to do the same. Blake

[kate42]

I just recently passed the five-year mark, but to be completely honest, I didn't remember it until a few days later. This was actually the first time I've forgotten about it until later, which I guess could mean that the day itself really doesn't bother me anymore...just a thought. I don't know.

[Hikkakaru]

Blake, on Dec 5 2009, 11:53 AM, said:

With the 8th anniversary of my injury coming up i've been thinking about it more then normal. With it being on Christmas it get's over shadowed some but as I get older not as much.

For the first few years I really didn't think of the day other then it being Christmas but for the first time last year I thought of my accident more. I just felt a little more down then I do normaly.

I'm just wondering how some of you deal? Is it a hard day for you?

I like to deal with it by getting blindingly drunk.

[AndrewB]

I second sam's approach to dealing with this.

[pistol_pete]

I didn't think my first anniversary would bother me that much but I found that I became quite self destructive.
Started on beer, when the bourbon ran out I finished off the red wine. In between I sucked back a pack of ciggies ( which I'd given up in rehab).
Don't remember going to bed but woke up in a puddle of vomit and urine, managed to get into the shower, where I fell asleep with my pants blocking the plughole, woke up to a flooded bathroom and hallway.
I now have some funky shaped floorboards to remind me of my first anniversary of being injured.
Haven't been drunk since.
maybe next year.

[mcferguson]

I am never likely to forget my anniversary as it happened just after Thanksgiving. This was my first anniversary and it passed without any difficulty, very much like any other day.

[Trinity]

Hikkakaru, on Dec 7 2009, 04:02 AM, said:

I like to deal with it by getting blindingly drunk.

AndrewB, on Dec 7 2009, 04:43 AM, said:

I second sam's approach to dealing with this.

Yep, same here

[wheeels]

To me its just a day nothing special.

I am however going to do Ironman Canada on my 10 year anniversary of the accident 2011.

[ClaraTaylor]

I have a second birthday party. With chocolate cake, jelly and ice cream...

[The Black Sheep]

I ordered Pizza Hutt and the hubby and I played video games all that day. It was a reminder that I didn't want to be reminded of, so we just layed around and played all day.

The anniversary isn't bad for me. I crossed the 11 year mark last August first, which is a nice and warm time of year in New York. I think, more than the anniversary, it's the cold, hard-to-move days that remind me so much how I hate things being more difficult. We had a foot of snow last night and when I looked at the porch, I knew it would take me an hour to shovel it. Normally, it might take 10 minutes. Those are the kind of reminders that get me down. I suspect a lot of the downers stem from the reason we ended up with a spinal cord injury, and things that remind us of what happened around that time of year/event/persons.

Edited by The Black Sheep, 09 December 2009 - 05:52 PM.

[kim wright]

mine is today .
no point thinking about the things you can not change .
bottle of wine and an early night

[Jax]

16 December 2006. 5:30am

I pick up my best friend (who sustained a TBI in September of 99) and we go out to eat and I have a couple glasses of single-malt scotch, and he has a couple glasses of whiskey and coke. We do this on the anniversary of his accident too. Just kinda keeps us grounded and reminds us of how far we've come and what we have to be grateful for (more so than any public holiday could).

[Denny]

Not made any difference to me, last two years I even forgot about it until one of the family member mentioned. I was injured in 2003.

[Slowlegs]

This year I am going out to PARTY with my workmates as it will have been 24 years. I must say some of the single women I work with are rather physically appealing to say the least. The first years I remembered the date (actually it is a week tomorrow come to think) and after about five I started forgetting.

I used to find it hard when I forgot all about it and some negative person in my family would come up to me and ask "do you know what day it is?". That annoyed me more than anything. I found the anniversary of the end of my previous life was a bit hard (when I realised I started ticking over the time when my life had been longer disabled than able bodied) and it bought home the fact that this is permanent. A couple of years ago I was out at dinner and the date on my watch caught me by surprise. I chuckled and my friends asked what I found so amusing. I told them and one of them asked if I had been in hospital. Turned out she had worked in one of the departments in the hospital over 20 years previous and remembered me. That I had forgotten the date made me realise that I have adjusted and am reasonably happy with where I am right now. That was probably the best "anniversary" I have but then partying like it's 1984 is the occasion this year so it could be a new best this time!

Living the dream I had to not only survive but return to some semblance of normality which is what most of us strive for I think.

[doublelibra]

My date of injury: 2-13-91. When the date comes, I notice little cues like the way the sunlight's angle is hitting the earth, how it seems like winter is going to end sometime soon, and I get a twinge of pain when I remember how I felt the day I left the house to get in my car. It was the first day of a thaw following a cold snap, and it smelled like the earth was warming slightly. I'll think of the fateful choice I made to take the particular route I took to school that evening. I had to get my youngest son to the University day care and myself to class, and I was running late. I missed the entire spring that year, because I was in the ICU with no view out the window except for the roof of an adjoining building. I used to go into a lot of regret and pain on my anniversary, but somewhere along the line I decided to let myself off the hook. I remember to be extremely grateful that my son was with me, and he only had a tiny bump on his head. It was the day after his 6th birthday. Gratitude is a good antidote for self-pity, as some of your answers have shown. I got to live to see my grandchildren and my little 9-month-old great-grandson! And I don't feel old at all! In my darkest days I fought to stay alive to be with my kids. Now time is helping each anniversary to be a little easier.

[Blake]

Yesterday went pretty well, not as bad asI thought it was going to be. I woke up in a bit of a funk but seeing my little sisters Emma an Ally open their presents I couldn't help but be happy. Once I got to Talia's house and saw her singing to her 9 day old baby brother Anthony I couldn't help but be happy again. I have so much to be happy about, I guess I just need to remember that more. Thank you for all the adivce.

[chickadee]

Just had my 1st year anniversary, which I consider December 1st (I fell on Nov 22, got into the ER Dec 1, and my surgery started... sometime after that). I 'celebrated' by -
-Getting on a plane to Rome from Amsterdam, where I had finally decided on a school to finish my masters' at (TU/e, in Eindhoven), and
-Accepting a job offer (albeit a short-term one) with a web dev company here in town.

And no, I didn't forget the date. I purposely scheduled this trip around this date because I wanted to try something from my former life (travel abroad), which turned out to be MUCH harder than I anticipated, and because I wanted to distract myself. The job acceptance was a nice surprise.

Which is much better than what I thought it would be. Also a nice surprise.

[sciiaf]

Although I have yet to come up to the first anniversay of my accident I am of course thinking about it all the time. I tend to think "last year on this date i was ______" "last year at Christmas i was______" and reminiscing and yearning to go back in time. So, I imagine that when June 3, 2010, at around 2.00 AM comes I am going to have issues. As far as strategies to keep my mind off of the anniversary, I am trying to think of newer and more positive anniversaries. The puppy I bought myself after getting out of hospital was born on June 6th, 3 days after my accident. I keep thinking that I should focus on his first birthday rather than the anniversary of my accident. I guess what I'm saying is to try and create anniversaries to remember, to look forward to, and hopefully those will keep your mind away from the SCI anniversary.

Blake, on Dec 5 2009, 11:53 AM, said:

With the 8th anniversary of my injury coming up i've been thinking about it more then normal. With it being on Christmas it get's over shadowed some but as I get older not as much.

For the first few years I really didn't think of the day other then it being Christmas but for the first time last year I thought of my accident more. I just felt a little more down then I do normaly.

I'm just wondering how some of you deal? Is it a hard day for you?

[dangerousdave]

How do I deal with my the aniversary of my injury

What aniversary

[Yasko]

Believe it or not, I'm celebrating it.
It's my new life b-day and I am still teenager, 15 years old ;)

Edited by Yasko, 28 December 2009 - 04:35 PM.

[Meadowlarkmark]

It's just another day in July for me. Some years I remember but most year I do not unless someone else brings the event up or something--I have my hand full now, just making sure I live another day.