2 replies to this topic

[hleumas]

Hello everyone, allow me to introduce myself. On October 3 my 56 year old father was preparing some land for hunting using a tractor. He was found by a family friend, unconscious and bleeding from the head. To make a long story short, Dad had been struck on the right side of his face by a falling tree limb which cause fractures in C3 through C5. The vertebrae were removed, replaced with spacers, and fused from C2 to C6.

He's currently in a rehab hospital and in the past month has managed to regain movement in his right leg and arm (from shoulder to elbow, and one finger). There is some movement on the left side, but he can't feel it and must see the movement to understand what he's moving. He has altered sensation from the mid-chest down (he says it feels like pin pricks when you touch him). His left shoulder is subluxated... its possible he has a torn rotator cuff.

We've been doing PT since late October and we're approaching his discharge date (12/30). We're hoping for an extension from the insurance company, as he's been progressing quite well in PT, but we have no idea if that's going to happen. My concern is this: I live 30 miles from my parents, and I'm an only child. My mother has developed a pinched nerve in her back and can barely lift Dad's leg to put on his socks or shoes. We've been lucky enough to have family that stays with Dad at the hospital day and night (we've had staff issues and refuse to leave him there with no care) while Mom works. I stay at the hospital with him on weekends. The renovations to the house should be completed within a couple of weeks, so we'll be able to get him in and out. The biggest worry is how we'll be able to care for him at the house. There are no techs or nurses to help turn him or transfer him. Mom has to work to keep her health insurance and keep bills paid, and even if she could stay home there's no way she could turn him or move him by herself. My uncle has been staying overnight with my Dad to allow Mom to get some sleep, but is starting to irritate Dad (brothers irritate each other... who knew?!). I moved out just over a year ago, and in the interest of moving forward, I'd really rather not move back in with my parents (but I'd gladly drive over and help when I could). I don't know what we're going to do to help Dad at home when it takes two people to turn, move, transfer him.

Everything is starting to get very real....

[greybeard]

hleumas, on Dec 17 2009, 04:51 PM, said:

Everything is starting to get very real....

It looks as though part of that reality is accepting that you may have to postpone your flight from the nest for a while until you and your family get organised, and that your father needs to accept the help from which ever direction it comes including from his brother.

[gordonr]

If any shortcuts are taken with turning and transferring, things will get ugly really fast.

What do they mean he "might" have a torn rotator cuff ? Get an x-ray. Find out exactly what his condition is.

It sounds like he is a candidate for real independence, once he recovers, with the funcitons you describe.

But if he is allowed to rot in his chair now, that potential will not be realized.

I have no practical ideas to advance, but it is clear that your mum cannot handle this. And perhaps you cannot either.

Don't behave passively at the hospital. Let them know that a discharege is a discharge into hell. Unacceptable. Call social services. Raise your voice.

At worst, put him in a wheelchair and drop him off at city hall, in the mayor's office. Call CNN when you do it.

Sometimes people need NEED help. And this looks like one of those times.

Best Regards,

Gordon