7 replies to this topic

[Channy]

Just some questions I have.

1] My fiancee is a t3/t4 paraplegic. I am under the impression that once he gets home (he is still in rehab), he will be able to do most of the things he used to do himself (aside from heavy duty cleaning and things of that nature). Am I wrong to assume this? He keeps telling me that he thinks we're going to need sooo much extra help once he is home. I mean, of course it'll take some getting used to having to do things so differently but am I completely wrong on this?

2] Does every person with a SCI have sensations when their bladder is full? We were told that he will learn to know when it's full but so far, nothing. It has only been just over two months since his accident though. Will this come with time?

3] He seems to be constantly constipated. We have been doing a every 2nd day bowel care regimen so far but it seems like the nurses are always unimpressed with the movements he has and often do an enema after the suppository. He's taking stool softeners. But is there anything else that can be done to keep him as regular as can be? Eating more fibre? Things of that nature?

Im sure I'll have more questions. I find I always think of them during the times Im away from my computer, go figure

[gordonr]

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Just some questions I have.

1] My fiancee is a t3/t4 paraplegic. I am under the impression that once he gets home (he is still in rehab), he will be able to do most of the things he used to do himself (aside from heavy duty cleaning and things of that nature). Am I wrong to assume this? He keeps telling me that he thinks we're going to need sooo much extra help once he is home. I mean, of course it'll take some getting used to having to do things so differently but am I completely wrong on this?

Yes and no. He will be able to do all sorts of things, but it will be much more difficult. He may not want to put as much energy into housekeeping.

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2] Does every person with a SCI have sensations when their bladder is full? We were told that he will learn to know when it's full but so far, nothing. It has only been just over two months since his accident though. Will this come with time?

Answer is yes but it may take some time to recognize what thse feelings are.

BTW two months is nothing.

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3] He seems to be constantly constipated. We have been doing a every 2nd day bowel care regimen so far but it seems like the nurses are always unimpressed with the movements he has and often do an enema after the suppository. He's taking stool softeners. But is there anything else that can be done to keep him as regular as can be? Eating more fibre? Things of that nature?

Don't worry about it.

Sooner or later, the colon will be full and it will come out. A gentle suppository (glycerine, let it work for twenty minutes or so) and a little digital stimulation will do the trick.

Actually A little constipation is good.

It is not constipation which causes a problem, it is the reverse... acidentally filling your pants.

Best Regrds,

Gordon

[Ches]

Everything seems to be a chore from a chair.. from housework to transfering into bed. It will take a good while before he's got the energy to put in a full day of activity. I remember when taking a shower and not pissing myself in the same day was the biggest goal I had. No need to rush him into getting back to his complete life.. go easy on him. He's got more than a clean house on his mind right now. But to answer the question; Yes, those things are all still possible, most thing are possible... in due time.

Maybe he can't poo cause he's taking lots of painkillers?

The bladder statement is a bit vague. No doctor can just bluntly say "You will eventually know" to a paralyzed person. Surely the doc incorporated that into another subject, perhaps learning to cath on a timely manner, learning the times you tend to wet yourself for prevention measures,.. maybe he was talking about physically using your hand to feel the bladder? I can think of a few ways your statement couldve been used and taken out of context... so please, clarify?

[Trinity]

Channy, on Dec 30 2009, 06:00 AM, said:

Does every person with a SCI have sensations when their bladder is full? We were told that he will learn to know when it's full but so far, nothing. It has only been just over two months since his accident though. Will this come with time?

I would say this is incorrect, some people certainly do get sensations, whether they be true sensations or AD depends on the person and level of injury.
Every injury is different
Sensations certainly do take time to learn but don't rely on getting any. Bladders can be successfully managed with care and routine and sensations are not actually necessary. Timing bladder management with fluid intact takes time to master but is very doable

[Tetracyclone]

I took 18 months before I had the stamina to do routine chores around the house- sweeping, dishes, putting stuff away.

Contrary to Gordon, I find constipation causes me severe spasticity and depression. I work very hard to avoid it. In addition to fiber, massage, and all the usual dietary advice, nothing helps my regularity as much as exercise.

Patience.

[Channy]

I just wanted to clarify and say that Im not rushing him into anything. And plus, I do most of the housework anyway so that's not a big deal lol. The only reason I mentioned housework was b/c I read on this website about what he will be able to do when we go back home and if he'd be able to live independent and this site said he will be able to do most things other than heavy household work.

To be honest, he has his heart set on moving to the town where his parents live (this is where we lived before the accident). And Im trying to convince him to move to a different city mainly because his parents have been very....irritating since his accident (but also because I just hate the town we were living in before and I honestly believe it is just generally not a good place to be with an injury like his). Both his parents and his sisters are babying him HARD. For example, the *ONE* day I was able to stay with my fiancee until he went to bed (I usually have to leave early b/c we have a 1 year old daughter together and she gets very cranky staying at the rehab centre for too many hours in a day hah), his sister texted him and asked him if I was still there and if he wanted her to go tuck him into bed. His sisters are treating him like one of their children and no one in his family has the decency in them to leave the room when he is getting cathed, getting changed, getting his poo cleaned up, etc. I dunno, if I were him I'd want as much privacy as I can during those procedures ESPECIALLY since it's totally unnecessary for his fam to be seeing him naked since himself or me will be doing most of that kind of care once he is at home. Anyway, I feel like he is going to become dependent on his family for everything since they have been babying him since day one of his accident. Yes, I am guilty of babying him too sometimes but not after I realized that doing that is doing nothing but stifling his progress. When he was able to 1st get up in a chair (it was a Broda chair @ the hospital), his Mom refused to take him (or even let me take him) for a walk out of his room even though he had been stuck in that same room staring at the same white walls for weeks because she "didnt want him to get any bugs from the hallway." Umm, any "bugs" that are in the hallway will have made their way into his room anyway from us coming and going all day and the nurses in and out all day. So stupid. Anyway, the doctor came in and put her in her place and told her its GOOD for him to get out of the room once in a while. And now the same thing is happening b/c my fiancee will be able to get day passes soon. I'd love to go to a movie with him 1 day so we'd only be out of the hospital for like 3 hrs max. But his Mom is thinking there's no way that's going to happen because it's winter and all the cold air is going to get into his lungs and make him sick and blah blah blah. Umm, I'm sorry but you can't protect him from the weather for the rest of his life. We live in Canada for eff sakes ! Haha.

Anyway, I have a bit of a grudge against his family because since the accident they hardly EVER give us alone time and never watch our child so that him and I can have alone time. They don't even live in the city where he is staying in the rehab center, but they take turns coming up here (his mom one week, his one sister the next, and then they switch on and off like that). It makes me feel like they don't trust me alone with him and it's putting a huge strain on our relationship because of our lack of alone time. And 99% of the time we DO get time alone, it's not quality time because I have to chase our daughter constantly down the hallway. And, of course, his fam has come up with many excuses why they can't look after our child even though they are CONSTANTLY here. *eye roll* And my fiancee won't say anything to them because his Mom is one of those controlling women on a bad power trip. None of her kids or even her hubby has ever stood up to her so, of course, she's holding a huge bitchy grudge on me too because her and I had a yelling match one day and she just hates being proved wrong. This fight with them against me has been another added stressor to the whole situation but am I wrong to want alone time with my fiancee? And is it wrong for me to want him to maintain as much dignity and independance as he can in his situation?

A quadriplegic from the Canadian Paraplegic Society came and talked to us one day and told us that my fiancee will "eventually learn when his bladder is full" and then explained to us what it feels like to him when his bladder is full (a tingly sensation). Right now my fiancee is on a 2am, 6am, 10am, 2pm, 6pm, 10pm cathing schedule but the nurses are still doing it for him as he's not able to sit the right way yet to do it himself. I was basically just wondering if EVERY person with an SCI eventually learns when the bladder is full or not. It's not a huge deal since we're on a pretty set schedule at the moment anyway but I was just curious.

And I'm just worried about things like this because Im worried about AD. I read that it's a pretty common thing in people with SCI (and I wanna say I read a statistic that 80% of ppl with SCI will have AD in the 1st yr of their injury) but that doesn't make me any less worried about it. Ive always generally been a worrywart kinda girl but its 10x worse now. I know I shouldnt live in fear of him getting AD but its just something Im concerned about now since this whole thing is still very new to us.

Anyway, sorry for the long rants/explanations haha. Just had to get that off my chest.


edit

Just thought of another question. Since his injury is at t3/t4, Im wondering how it's going to be when he gets sick with, say, a cold and has a cough. A couple days after his injury, he started getting a bad cough & the docs were worried about him getting pneumonia. It was EXTREMELY difficult for him to cough and he'd start coughing and then choking and was unable to catch his breath. Super scary. I'm just wondering if this is something that I'd have to look out for next time he gets sick OR was the inability to cough all the phlegm up (they had to use a deep suction on him a few times) because he also had a broken sternum/a few broken ribs? Or was it just a combination of his injury being so high & the broken bones? Thanks again guys. I truly appreciate this!

Edited by Channy, 30 December 2009 - 03:32 PM.

[Ches]

Sounds like things are really frantic around there right now. It's like that in the beginning for all of us, no matter what the circumstances. Hopefully things will chill out for you in the months to come, hang in there.

I also broke my sternum and majority of ribs, along with a T4 injury, and the coughing was pretty difficult for me for a while. I started Assist Coughing myself after a few weeks in the hospital and I kept it up as needed until 7 or 8 months later when I was really capable of coughing things up once again. I tell ya, it's hard enough not having the stomach muscle to help cough but nothing was as bad as the broken sternum. It took about 7 months to stop hurting when I stretched it or tried to cough. So,... yeah,.. coughing, yelling, singing along to his favorite songs w/out running out of breath,.. all that will have to be worked on.

[Tetracyclone]

Channy,

Do you think the issues between your BFs family and yourself is a deal breaker?

You describe a power struggle which you may not be able to win, and in which you have no allies, including your BF not being on your side.

Try family counseling, because unless his family accepts you as "one of them" and particularly as his primary connection, you are in an eternal loop of frustration and put downs.

Unless you think you can find happiness at the bottom of his family's pecking order, you may need, sooner or later, to give him the choice of life with you in not-his-home-town, or life without you and your daughter. Present situation is no win, so do not waste too much energy in it... although the drama is truly compelling. That could become addictive!

Wishing you happiness.

Pat