16 replies to this topic

[gsp23]

I am getting married in July and as I can walk a little bit with my braces and crutches I was thinking that maybe I would park my chair as I make table rounds if I can walk from one table to another and keep sitting down. This would make it easier to get around, space-wise anyways. My close family and my fiances close family all know my condition but I am concerned that some of the people we dont see often will see my chair and think that it is provided by the facility instead of being mine and some of the younger people may sit in it and play around with it and it would really suck if I wanted to go somewhere beyond the couple close tables and it was gone. I dont want to make an announcement at the wedding saying to stay out of the chair and maybe it wont even be an issue. Hanging a piece of paper over it to stay off is not really what I'm going for either. I was thinking something a bit clever-er. Like if I was a crafty person creating a custom seat cover or something staying brides thrown or something so I can just sit and go. This type of thing isnt really me so looking for any other suggestions here.

Thanks in advance.

[wheeliebear75]

How about using fake flowers? You know like in the crafting section at WalMart...... the kind with wire stems that way you can weave them in the spokes so that they're secure & use some coordinating (white or a color to match the gowns) ribbon over the colored metal parts of the wheelchair frame......then it should be somewhat more obvious that this is for the BRIDE (what all the flowers on the wheels......the bride's chair usually has flowers or ribbons) & yet shouldn't make it look tacky or anything. ;)

[ADP-10-08-63]

hi i wa's married on the day i was discharged had a spinal supporting brace on,heavily druged up on pain relief by pain management team
and used two dress canes for photo's to support me whilst i was standing for short periods
hope this is of help

hope it all goes well
have a great 2010

[Oldsparkie]

I would be inclined to think of dispensing with your braces and crutches altogether and just use your chair, easy for me to say as I can't use braces or crutches but somehow I feel a chair is more elegant, simple to move around in and less obvious than struggling around with crutches.

Congrats on your marriage anyway, I am sure your wife's wishes will prevail in your dilema anyway!!!!!

[Charlie1284]

How about adding a sign that says "Reserved for the bride. Not a guest seat. Please do not move. Thank you."
That would be clearer than just placing flowers on the seat. You could print it in a fancy script, to make it not look too stern.

Congratulations by the way - you must be excited about the big day!

[allis53ca]

....or a fake turd...no takers then, guaranteed !

[gsp23]

Thanks for the tips everyone.

I actually had forgotten that brides usually decorate their chairs... so many things to think of for all this. I will definitely be doing that though!

The fake turd idea would probably do it but would take away from any class I think

and Oldsparkie... I'm a female so would be my husband, not wifes wishes.

Even with braces and crutches I cant walk very far and tire out quickly so wont be an option to do much walking anyways. Just thinking ahead at how much room may be available between tables and it might be limited that walking might be the better option but would only be while making the rounds to tables. Most of the day I'll have to use my chair cause its just of upper body work trying to walk (which seems really weird to say).

There was a suggestion of dressy canes although I cant do that, I see there are a couple of companies that sell white crutches. Might be an option to actually bring my crutches into a local paint shop and have them painted white, something for me to think about.

The wording was tactful for the sign but was hoping to not have to hang a sign on the chair that has to be removed and put back on each time I try to walk, not sure if it will be once or more than once that I leave my chair but will play it by ear on how I feel. I will probably get wiped out before the reception anyways with the pictures and everything. I was thinking of trying to walk down the isle with both my parents and my braces instead of using crutches but not sure if they will be able to support me and I dont want to take them out so might just be better to roll down the aisle instead. We are going to have some taller bar stools that we have at our house now which are white and shorter than actual bar stools. Once I get down there my fiance is going to help me onto the stool and the wedding party will all be seated on the same stools so I am not at a different height and we are all higher up than the people at the ceremony so they can see us.

Edited by gsp23, 02 January 2010 - 06:46 AM.

[wheeliebear75]

I can walk a tiny bit with crutches & although I picked pale pink they do have white AND they're so light compared to the other metal ones you may be glad you bought them anyway. ;) About $100 U.S. dollars for a pair of forearm crutches. And surprisingly enough no.....your statement about walking exhausting your upper body doesn't seem all that strange.......but that's cuz we're all in the same F'd up boat just different seating assignments. But I don't think I'd worry too much about getting up; #1 if you wear yourself out getting from table to table visiting are you going to be able to enjoy your special day as much as if you hadn't tuckered yourself out?, #2 depending on what kind of braces you have they can be a pain to wear if you're not actually walking AND they might rip some of the silk of the underside of your dress & that's something you'd want to avoid whether you rented your dress or want to pass it down to your own daughters or just to keep it nice for a memento, #3 a good point was made about the "grace" or lack there of in our walking abilities.......I know I'm certainly anything BUT graceful when I walk (looks more like a newborn colt taking their 1st steps). Just a few things to think about.

Here is a link to walkeasy.com

http://www.walkeasy.com/

[gsp23]

Yeah I'm not graceful by any means and probably look a lot like colt taking its first steps as well, the main reason I was thinking walking though was the tables being close I dont want to be asking my guests to move their chairs so I can pass by and talk to people at the next table. If there looks to be enough room I will just go use the chair but I have a feeling that will be an issue anyways. I had looked at that link for the Walk Easy and heard good things about them. The ones I have now are Invacare ones and they arent overly heavy but if I could get them professionally painted for less than $50 I might just do that vs buying the new ones for $100. Will have to see pricing for painting first.

Walking down the aisle... I'm not yet sure on that. Women all dream of being able to do that and while the chair down the aisle is just part of who I am now I would still rather try and walk down the aisle if possible but need to try this with my parents and fiance to make sure I'm not going to take someone down with me

With regards to the braces and damaging the dress... I actually talked to my mom about that already and she is helping me with making something. Basically its a wrap that will go around my braces where the slides are. The places between the slides that are just the solid metal I think will be fine cause there really isnt much to get caught on there its mainly the slides that are going to catch and tear. I am going to look for dresses in a couple of weeks and will be wearing my braces so I know they will fit underneath anyways and then I can play it by ear from there. When I know I have reached my limit for the day I an always take off my braces in a back room somewhere too and have someone bring them out to my truck for me.

[Oldsparkie]

[quote name='gsp23' date='Jan 2 2010, 04:42 PM' post='144200']
Oldsparkie... I'm a female so would be my husband, not wifes wishes.


Opps sorry ....for my error should have checked your profile...I am sure your husband to be would be happy with what ever you want, us men are like that!!!!!!

My two penneth however is the same if a chair is your normal mode of transport, go for it and remember we want some wedding pics here too!!!!

[Lucydog]

Although I can walk a bit, well I used to before I had 3 babies in 3 years, Ive always prefered the 'cool chair' look than the being stared at cripple with crutches. Although I understand that trying to wheel around tables is a pain in the neck!!!

The main thing is to chill out and just have a really lovely day, I know it will be fantastic!

[Rotarymotion]

First, congratulations on your engagement! I hope you have a super marriage. Here are some thoughts and ideas....

Have you tried walking through small gaps between tables and chairs, particularly when guests may move suddently without looking behind them? I use a chair more or less full time, but I can walk a few steps with full-length callipers on both legs. However, I find it much harder to walk in a crowded room or through narrow gaps without overbalancing and having to grab something to stay upright, than I do when the room is clear. People in a crowded room will often overbalance me as they move unpredictably, and I need room to accomodate my often-surprising changes of direction. In other words, I find it much harder to walk when the gaps are small or there are a lot of people around and my chair is definitely a safer option.

If you're keen on walking for some of the time, why not do the "walking up the isle" bit, either on arrival, or walking down the isle afterwards. If you can't manage the full length of the isle, why not travel in the chair until withing a few yards of the stools at the front and walk the last few steps? Similarly, why not travel the first few yards walking as husband and wife, and then have one of the ushers part-way down the isle at an end pew seemlessly place your chair behind you, and ride the rest of the way out!

I realise this is all very personal, and you must do what makes you and your future husband feel most comfortable, but plan well, make use of the best man and ushers, practice and practice and it will all look great.

To answer your original question, you must make use of the ushers if you want to have your chair always available while not in it. This is very important, its your day, and one of the ushers must be assigned to always be near your chair to prevent it being used or moved by someone else. Thats what ushers are for. In the planning, you can have a rota so each usher knows exactly what time slots his full-time task occupies at the reception, and his full-time task during that period it to discreetly watch your movements and if you leave your chair, to discreetly make sure that no-one else touches it, and to rendezvous it with you whenever you give him the appropriate glance. Anything else, e.g. notices on the chair, announcements, etc. just makes it more of an issue and draws attention to the chair rather than you.

Remember, its your day, and everything revolves around you.

Have a great day and I wish you both every happiness - I have made many mistakes in my life, but getting married was not one of them! I sincerely hope you find the same happiness.

Edited by Rotarymotion, 03 January 2010 - 09:01 PM.

[gsp23]

Thanks for those things to ponder. I actually hadnt even thought about how other peoples movement will take me out so easily so I guess thats something to consider cause yeah if someone backs into me I will be laying on the floor.

Your idea on the users watching the chair is a good one, unfortunately we wont have any ushers. My fiance has always said that he would never have ushers at his wedding cause they are pretty much the guys who didnt make the cut for groomsmen and he is still sticking with that now.

[azx43]

Congrats on your special day, Gsp23!

I can relate to your concern of not wanting people to 'take' your chair when you might need it. . . this is YOUR day, after all. Do you have any young nieces or nephews, children of friends, etc. who are going to be either in the wedding itself(flower girl, ringbearer, bridesmaid) or attending it? If so, one of these kids might love a "job" for the reception--that of playing "usher" and making sure you get your chair when you need it. Rotarymotion is absolutely right; any announcements, signs, etc., will draw attention away from you.

You might have several young friends DISCREETLY helping you--one child looks for 'the glance' which says that you need your chair, and another older child (or the best man or a bridesmaid)actually does the moving of the chair. It needs to be someone who can be trusted not to run into or over relatives when moving your chair and will put it where you wan t it. Of course this will take practice and coordination, as well as knowledge of your "helper", but you can do it!Being responsible for helping with your chair during the reception might just help a child get through the reception without boredom and misbehavior.

This might sound tacky, but another thing that I thought is to post that awesome dog of yours to watch your chair and only allow certain people (you, your husband) to move it. He can wear flowers on his collar.

[gsp23]

All good feedback so far and things to consider as well such as the ability to stay upright if people bump into me. Either way I will be decorating my chair and I had another thought today as well. I think I might order something like this http://www.daisy-day...air-sashes.html and just use the bride one on my chair and not use the groom one at all. It looks stylish enough so I dont think it has the tacky appearance of putting a sign on the chair.

[chickadee]

Was just wondering... where are you getting married? I'm located in Mpls, and my sister is planning her wedding... was batting it around in my head as well. Not the getting married bit, but rather the "If hypothetically, then where?"

I'm in a similar situation as you - what I'd maybe do is have a box in a corner, and have it open on one end. Fold down the back, and tuck it inside the box. And then you can pretty up the box as you see fit. As for the crutches, you could maybe see if there is some type of tape similar to electrical tape to cover the connection points, and then have a local shop paint them up. Who knows, there might be plastic electrical-style tape that's white as well. That would perhaps give it a more seamless look, and less likely to snag your dress? Finally, maybe picking a dress fabric that is not very likely to snag (say, very holey lace or something with beads) would help as well.

I was wondering about that, as it sounds like I'm going to be in my sister's wedding in September (in an outdoor park in Anoka county, no less), and have been trying to figure out how to be a good bridal party member.

[gsp23]

Planning her wedding in Anoka county park? Thats kinda funny because I grew up in Anoka County and with all of my family and my fiancés family living down that way we considered the same. We were looking at Coon Rapids Dam or Bunker Hills but decided instead to go to a place closer to my house so I am getting married in a park up in Rice which is between St Cloud and Little Falls on Hwy 10.

What I am going to do is to weave some floral in my spokes and am going to make a sash with a piece of cloth of some kind similar to the one shown in this thread but I am going to make it myself. Just make something like that with a plain piece of clothing (possible satin) and then have it go around the back of my chair and tie a bow in the back. I will then with maybe a glitter pen just write "Bride" on the portion that will be shown from the front side of the chair. If you are going to be a bridesmaid (or Maid of Honor) then you could write that on the same portion and leave it decorated. I am not going to put a box as I dont want to have an obtrusive object sitting there (more so than a chair).

Havent yet checked if I can get them painted somewhere in town yet but I am still looking to go that route as I think there is probably someone I can find to do that still.

I picked my dress a couple weeks ago and that was one of the criteria is that I didnt want crinoline underneath as that is an invitation for tripping. I also didnt want any lighter fabric on the outside either like chiffon because I didnt want to have problems with my crutches sitting on top or with part of my dress getting caught in the caster wheels. The dress I have meets all these criteria and to make it even better... the dress I bought has boning in the abdomen area, which is long pieces of metal or plastic used in corsets and runs vertically so I wont need any undergarments to hold my abdomen muscles in place