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Afraid To Sit On His Lap


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#1 *deb4604*

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Posted 18 January 2010 - 02:57 AM

I know there are many people out there doing it, but I can't help but worry about sitting on my bf's lap. He has been non-weightbearing for 26yrs, so I know fractures are a huge concern, and although I'm a size 4-6, I still worry. I don't plan on using him as a trampoline or anything, but I just can't imagine what I'd do if anything every happened to him because of me.
Am I just being overly concerned? Please advise!
:clap:

Edited by deb4604, 19 January 2010 - 02:46 AM.


#2 Bob C

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Posted 18 January 2010 - 03:09 PM

Actually, you need to be concerned. Having had my femur (the bone between the hip and knee) fractured twice, they do fracture easily. When that happens, getting it fixed/healed is a problem you do not want to have. As a result of my problem, my wife and I even have to engage in "careful" sex. Seriously. As for using your bf as a trampoline, I broke my neck on a trampoline so you are wise to avoid that. lol
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#3 allis53ca

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Posted 18 January 2010 - 03:54 PM

ure right...cuties not worth a broken femur or pelvis and not good for chairs either....theres many ways to cuddle or be close w/o kipin a free ride

#4 gordonr

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Posted 18 January 2010 - 04:36 PM

View Postallis53ca, on Jan 18 2010, 03:54 PM, said:

ure right...cuties not worth a broken femur or pelvis and not good for chairs either....theres many ways to cuddle or be close w/o kipin a free ride

ditto here.

The chair will break. And the legs may break.

I used to do this twenty-five years ago. But my wife was then but a wisp of a girl. And the word "osteoporosis" had not yet entered my vocabulary.

Best Regards,

Gordon

Editted to add: For many years I always had a kid in my lap. But my youngest is now eight, and I tell him he is too big. So that pretty well disqualifies any fullgrown female.

Edited by gordonr, 18 January 2010 - 04:39 PM.


#5 skinnylatte

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Posted 18 January 2010 - 08:25 PM

Oh my goodness! I've never heard this was dangerous. We do this all the time. Now I'm scared!
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#6 blue eyes

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Posted 18 January 2010 - 08:47 PM

I sit on my bf's lap occasionaly. Broken bones never crossed my mind before. I'm always worrying about his behind and pressure sores. I don't just jump into his lap, I slowly sit. But we are guilty of having sex while he's in his chair and that's not very delicate...

#7 Spinner

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Posted 18 January 2010 - 09:04 PM

One of my very favorite spots in the entire world is on my boyfriend's lap. I do get on very gently and never just plop myself down, but I do this all the time. The only issue we have ever had is me rubbing his catheter. I am going to do my best not to get paranoid about this!
"The reality of man is his thought, not his material body." Abdu'l Baha

#8 *deb4604*

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Posted 18 January 2010 - 11:28 PM

Thanks everyone for the feedback.
After viewing so many of the recent wedding photos and people talking about lap sitting for slow dancing, I felt like I was over-reacting.
I guess it's an individual kind of thing. So I guess wild sex is probably out of the question (not that I was even going in that direction just yet!), but an occassional gentle sitting for a short period might be ok.

#9 Maltese Cat

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Posted 18 January 2010 - 11:36 PM

don't go ruling out the wild sex just yet....
If you have one foot in the past, and one foot in the future, you are probably peeing on today

#10 *deb4604*

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Posted 18 January 2010 - 11:59 PM

View PostMaltese Cat, on Jan 18 2010, 06:36 PM, said:

don't go ruling out the wild sex just yet....
lol!

#11 Spinner

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Posted 19 January 2010 - 01:05 AM

View Postdeb4604, on Jan 18 2010, 05:59 PM, said:

View PostMaltese Cat, on Jan 18 2010, 06:36 PM, said:

don't go ruling out the wild sex just yet....
lol!

Oh yeah don't rule out the wild sex! You might just find it to be the best sex you have ever had! I try really hard to be careful, but I also try to remember that he is not as fragile as I might think he is. As he reminds me when I am ranging his legs, as long as I take it easy and don't force things, he will not break!
"The reality of man is his thought, not his material body." Abdu'l Baha

#12 Bob C

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Posted 19 January 2010 - 01:52 AM

View Postblue eyes, on Jan 18 2010, 03:47 PM, said:

I sit on my bf's lap occasionaly. Broken bones never crossed my mind before. I'm always worrying about his behind and pressure sores. I don't just jump into his lap, I slowly sit. But we are guilty of having sex while he's in his chair and that's not very delicate...

Just remember that an ounce of fracture prevention is worth a pound of cure, as is the case with pressure sores. If you are going to take the risk, make sure the femurs have full length support. If all the weight is borne at the hip joint and knee and you sit in the middle, it will snap. Lay a piece of uncooked spaghetti across two boxes or books and push down on the middle and you will see the effect. One of my early rehab memories is of a P.T. snapping the bone of the para laying on the mat next to me. Mentally were are tough, but physically, we do have some vulnerabilities. However, if you are informed and use common sense, it is not too restrictive.
Bob C

#13 guido

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Posted 19 January 2010 - 09:47 AM

There are many issues that we have to tackle / be aware of with SCI, and obviously Osteoporosis is one.

Don't forget, regular use of standing frame from the start can help combat this AND helps in SO MANY other ways:

- Morale: I'm 6'2" and like standing
- Keeps tendons in neutral position, ankles and hips
- Allows the gut to hang properly, so aids digestion and regularity
- Makes the bones be load bearing so helps prevent osteoporosis
- Gives your ass a break from the chair (I work at my computer in mine)

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#14 Inger

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Posted 30 January 2010 - 09:29 AM

Russ and I are big fans of his standing frame, too. An hour or two of daily standing helps his bones stay stronger, gets the weight off of his backside, and aides in keeping his calves stretched out. I know that since he's in a 300lb power chair, my sitting in his lap wouldn't give IT any trouble, but his having a broken bone would be a disaster. For him, healing from even little things is like me attempting a marathon (he manages it, but dang, it takes FOREVER!).

#15 russ1

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Posted 30 January 2010 - 02:48 PM

View Postguido, on Jan 19 2010, 09:47 AM, said:

There are many issues that we have to tackle / be aware of with SCI, and obviously Osteoporosis is one.

Don't forget, regular use of standing frame from the start can help combat this AND helps in SO MANY other ways:

- Morale: I'm 6'2" and like standing
- Keeps tendons in neutral position, ankles and hips
- Allows the gut to hang properly, so aids digestion and regularity
- Makes the bones be load bearing so helps prevent osteoporosis
- Gives your ass a break from the chair (I work at my computer in mine)

While standing has it's benefits there's no medical evidence to support the hypothesis that standing will help prevent osteoporosis. It is believed that it may help but all the evidence is that any benefit is really very minor if indeed it exists at all. Search the carecure forums if you want the references.
Russ - T2complete




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