15 replies to this topic

[Believe128]

I have been a paraplegic for 3 years now and am able to walk with a walker. I am getting married to the most wonderful man, who I met post accident, this October and I couldn't be more nervous to walk down the isle! Ever since my accident I hate being the center of attention, especially when you feel you are in public. We often joke about eloping, but won't. I recently bought my wedding dress and I felt absolutely gorgeous...MINUS the walker! How can you look past it when it's right in front of your face??

[guido]

Believe128, on Feb 22 2010, 04:45 PM, said:

I have been a paraplegic for 3 years now and am able to walk with a walker. I am getting married to the most wonderful man, who I met post accident, this October and I couldn't be more nervous to walk down the isle! Ever since my accident I hate being the center of attention, especially when you feel you are in public. We often joke about eloping, but won't. I recently bought my wedding dress and I felt absolutely gorgeous...MINUS the walker! How can you look past it when it's right in front of your face??

Follow your fiance's lead (or any partner of anyone with any physical impairment that matter!). Just as my girlfriend sees me for who I am not how I am, and your fiance sees you for who you are not how you are, so you need to start thinking of yourself like this too. Every person going to your wedding is thrilled to see your happiness - else they shouldn't be there - and they don't care about your walker. You're beating adversity and you should give yourself a massive dose of credit where that's concerned.

Really it's in your head, so I'll ask you the question: how are YOU going to see past your walker?

Not an easy one, but well within the realms of possibility. There's quite a number of discussions on this subject, and the answer's always the same, it's not perfefct or what anyone would have dreamed of, but a day filled with love and happiness is a wonderful day full of love and happiness.

Have a wonderful day. Be beautiful.

[Tetracyclone]

Hey, unlike Guido I totally understand your desire to leave the walker out of the wedding pics as family snap their phones while you walk down the isle. Its a question of vanity, and what woman truly accepts the way they look? Forget it! We need accessories and make-up! Weddings are theatre, after all.

Can you walk holding your fiances arm on one side and perhaps your Dad's on the other? Or whomever?
It would take practice, and would require a railing where you say vows to stabilize. It may be an option for you.

[qbounce]

Wrap the walker with tulle that matches your dress to at least soften it for the pictures.

[Bob C]

You may want to think outside the box. Last year a nephew of mine got married on horse back. Horses are their life and they had an outside wedding. The bride and groom rode their horses to where the minister stood. The bride was absolutely stunning as she rode her shinny black horse side saddle with her white gown. I am not suggesting that you do this but to think about other ways to make your entrance in an alternative setting.

Edited by Bob C, 22 February 2010 - 06:14 PM.

[guido]

I love learning on this site!

[djkrazyleggz]

First of al Congrats!!!!!! and I will just say that the first thing that i would suggest is that u begin to see the walker as part of you and accept it as your helping hand. I have crutches and a wheelchair too, when my brother got married I was his best man and hated that i couldnt walk down the aisle and hold my bridesmaids hand like the rest so last minute i decide to ask if it was ok to have my baby brother who was about 6 at the time in the wedding also as a jr. groomsman and he pushed my chair while i held her hand. It was pretty cool.

[kiwiquad]

Hi & welcome...your profile pic is gorgeous, so walk the 'walk' standing staight & smiling, & no one will see your walker. Qbounce's suggestion was a great one, I got married in an elec chair & wish I'd jazzed it up a bit. Nevertheless, I know where you're coming from, & trust me, when you see the smiles of your family & friends sucking up your happiness, you'll forget about the damn thing.
Congrats & much happiness for the future.

[ClaraTaylor]

Shame you don't have any fire fighter friends to carry you in.... now THAT would have people staring!

[jules]

when I got married I bought some claret coloured velvet to match my bridesmaids dresses and made covers for my chair cushion and back. I also put ribbons and bows on my chair. One other thing I did was get one photo of me standing up with my husband, but so that I didn't put any added pressure on myself I only told my husband, brother and photographer. What we did was we waited until everyone else was getting ready to throw the confetti at the end of the pathway up to the church, so they were all busy and the attention was not on us we just hung back (as is the usual when getting ready to be covered in confetti) then as quickly as I could I got my husband to help me stand, he held on to me so tight my feet were barely touching the floor! At the same time my brother whipped my chair away and out of shot, and the photographer took the shot. Our photographer was amazing and it took one shot only and people who only see that shot ask if it was before my accident!

Hope this helps

Jules

[Believe128]

Thank you all SO much for your encouragement and helpful ideas!! I was confined to a wheelchair my first year after my accident and feel extremely blessed to be given the chance to walk again, when I was only given a 10% chance to ever walk again, even with a walker. Even after 3 years I find days that are harder than others, wanting to look past the walker, and other days I walk with my head held high not caring who is watching or what they're thinking when they look at me.

It's such a traumatic experience to have gone through and I commend all of you for being able to share your stories. It's nice to have people to talk to that know exactly where you're coming from, and that have gone through the same.

I have decided to have my father and mother walk me down the isle, leaving the walker up at the alter

[dangerousdave]

I still can't get the picture of you 2 galloping up to a preacher on steps out of my head

I know that was someone elses idea ... but still .. it was imaginative while it lasted

Best wishes for your day

[JimG]

Smile and be proud that you can walk, even if it is assisted.

I went to my son's HS graduation last summer in a wheelchair and hand crutches, b/c I couldn't walk the distance from the parking lot to the bleachers with the crutches alone.

You know what.....

He didn't care, nor even acted like I was handicapped, while he pushed me around the football field afterwards.

Your friends and family will be proud to watch you walk down that aisle....trust me.

[Alexis]

Congrats!! I think having your mom & dad walk you down is very sweet. Maybe you can make it fun for the reception & put a "Just Married" sign on the front of the walker & tie cans that drag behind it on the ground like the get away car. However you do it, enjoy every minute of it as I'm sure you will... It is your day!!!

[Believe128]

Alexis, on Feb 25 2010, 03:26 AM, said:

Congrats!! I think having your mom & dad walk you down is very sweet. Maybe you can make it fun for the reception & put a "Just Married" sign on the front of the walker & tie cans that drag behind it on the ground like the get away car. However you do it, enjoy every minute of it as I'm sure you will... It is your day!!!

Thank you! That is a such a great idea!! I just may do that!

[Skid]

Congratulations! like yourself I dislike being "on show" but my wedding went so fast it was all a blur, so just enjoy it however you get down the isle, and unlike Hubby to be you don't have to make a speech!