3 replies to this topic

[croyleah]

My boyfriend is an incomplete C7 SPI; he is paralyzed from his diaphragm down. He was shot in the neck three years ago. I just need a little advice. He underwent surgery on his bladder about 6 months ago, and although the surgery went well and his bladder can hold so much more and it is easier for him now. He has been down on himself big time. He say’s he wants to kill himself and that he hates his life and that he doesn’t feel like he has a purpose.

I do not know what to do to help him, He had a really good job he use to go to about 3 days a week, but decided he did not like it so now he is not working. Financially he is fine so he doesn’t have to work but it gave him something to do during the day. He was playing wheel chair rugby but hasn’t gone since before his surgery. He seems so miserable. He will wake up around noon or 2 everyday stay at home and smoke pot, something he has just started doing this past month. He say’s he is going to stop and that he knows he shouldn’t and that he knows he needs to get his stuff straight again, but nothing seems to happen. This worries me because as little use of his diaphragm as he has, he cannot clear his lungs sufficiently by just coughing. He see’s a psychiatrist and is on an anti-depressant but I do not think he is getting what he needs out of it. I try to talk to him but he is just in this mode that he just wants to stay miserable. It’s like every day now he is depressed. I try to cheer him up or lighten his mood. He has great friends, who support him and will be there for him, a wonderful mother who does what ever she can to help him, family friends that adore him. So I do not know what to do. We have been together a year and I try to talk to him, but he say’s he doesn’t know what is wrong. I know he is really close to his mom, should I talk to her? If she knew that he was doing drops she would properly come Un-glued.

Anyway never been in a SPI support group before so any advice personal experiences with SPI would be greatly appreciated, Take care all.

[Bob C]

Can you tell us more about your guy? Age, what he did before injury, did he have any rehab, can he care for himself, living situation, etc. It is difficult to respond knowing so little about him.

[qbounce]

Welcome, croyleah,
You mentioned that he JUST started smoking pot . . . . why?? Is he in pain from the surgery? What exactly was the bladder surgery for?

Pot is a suppresant and tends to make one tired, or content to stay put if you're not used to it. I'm reluctant to say it makes you lazy, because I don't want to start a holy war against the "Pot Army" in this community, but I've heard that term used before.

You know, it sounds like he's done alot on his own . . . . w/c rugby, work, etc. Why not have him talk to the therapists at his hospital regarding sharing his experiences with new SCI's (Spinal Cord Injury). Helping others to better understand what their potentials are, could give him a new purpose in life.

Get him out and keep him involved with a local support group. Or, introduce him here so he can vent his frustrations on us . . . . we can take it!!

[croyleah]

1

Edited by croyleah, 01 March 2010 - 08:34 PM.