I apologize in advance if I offend anyone. I am just here seeking information. My dad was injured in a back surgery gone terribly awry. The doctors are telling us he is a complete and has very little hope of ever walking again. He has been in the hospital for over a month, the last 3 weeks in a Spinal Rehab Center. So far, he is not getting the hang of transfers from bed to wheelchair or vice-versa. He is having very limited success in getting from the chair to the toilet. He has no bowel control and has to be cathed every 4 hours. So far, he has been unable to cath himself.
His insurance will no longer let him stay in the hospital, so he is being forced to a Skilled Nursing Facility. We want to have him come home, but we are all scared to death. He has always been a very demanding man. I can forsee getting him up in the morning and going to work, only to get a call saying he has had a bowel movement and needs me to drop everything and get home to clean him up.
Should he really be expected to come home before he has the transfers and the bowel functions under control? How do people do this? I am very concerned about making family members his primary care giver. The bathroom stuff is especially hard to deal with. Any suggestions? We need to make life work for dad. We all love him.
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Need help with recent paraplegic father
Started by
*CaringSon*
, Mar 25 2006 07:05 AM
3 replies to this topic
Top#2
carolline
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Posted 25 March 2006 - 10:59 AM
Hi CaringSon,
Welcome to the board!
Your dad's injury is just recent,it's too early for him to accept the sudden changes in his life.
And it's hard for him also to learn and to adjust for his movement and activities.It takes time for him to cope all the changes.By this time...it's important the support from the family,including more patience how to deal to your dad.I hope that during his stay in the rehab you should know also how to manage and handle him.All about the care and his regular routine.So that,when you'll bring him home you have an idea how to take care of him.In my place where I work now,the PT's teached atleast one of the family member how to manage the SCI patient.Their activities,bathing,bowel routine(from nurses) transferring/returning from bed to chair.
And about the situation..if there's no choice that no one in the family is around.You need to get a part time carer has a knowledge to care with a SCI person.But also important that your father will cooperate to you or to his carer.As I said it takes time...all you have to do by this time talk to him,boosting him up.Give him some courageous advice.
I know it's difficult for the family also what has had happened to him.All we can do is to support him,don't let him to see that the world is turned down for him.
I hope YOU and your FATHER will be fine.
Good luck.
Welcome to the board!
Your dad's injury is just recent,it's too early for him to accept the sudden changes in his life.
And it's hard for him also to learn and to adjust for his movement and activities.It takes time for him to cope all the changes.By this time...it's important the support from the family,including more patience how to deal to your dad.I hope that during his stay in the rehab you should know also how to manage and handle him.All about the care and his regular routine.So that,when you'll bring him home you have an idea how to take care of him.In my place where I work now,the PT's teached atleast one of the family member how to manage the SCI patient.Their activities,bathing,bowel routine(from nurses) transferring/returning from bed to chair.
And about the situation..if there's no choice that no one in the family is around.You need to get a part time carer has a knowledge to care with a SCI person.But also important that your father will cooperate to you or to his carer.As I said it takes time...all you have to do by this time talk to him,boosting him up.Give him some courageous advice.
I know it's difficult for the family also what has had happened to him.All we can do is to support him,don't let him to see that the world is turned down for him.
I hope YOU and your FATHER will be fine.
Good luck.
Naughty Carer (SKMC)
#3 *onion*
*onion*
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Posted 26 March 2006 - 02:52 AM
Hello caring son,
I can only share my own experience. Our insurance also offered nursing home accommodations or one month in house PT, OT, and an aide. We chose the later. I can only tell you that it is an overwhelming, 24/7, exhausting, frightening, experience. Even though he is loved, the total care of an adult powerful, prideful man lacks description. I guess I could go on hours about the need and shock of the total care of someone you love and how the very act of doing it disturbs him greatly. But it does get better. It's a very, very difficult choice you have to make. And there are no right or wrong answers. Everyone's situation is different. The point is you are making every effort to make the right one . Best of luck
I can only share my own experience. Our insurance also offered nursing home accommodations or one month in house PT, OT, and an aide. We chose the later. I can only tell you that it is an overwhelming, 24/7, exhausting, frightening, experience. Even though he is loved, the total care of an adult powerful, prideful man lacks description. I guess I could go on hours about the need and shock of the total care of someone you love and how the very act of doing it disturbs him greatly. But it does get better. It's a very, very difficult choice you have to make. And there are no right or wrong answers. Everyone's situation is different. The point is you are making every effort to make the right one
. Best of luck
#4
Jilly
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Posted 26 March 2006 - 07:11 AM
Oooooh! No three weeks isnt long at all. 
It makes me mad when these people who sit in their comfy little offices try to run peoples lives without knowing what it is like out there in the real world.
As far as Im concerned no-one should leave a spinal unit without knowing how to do these things for themselves. thats what these places are for after all.
But I suppose their rules are rules and must be stuck to. Im not sure what to advise in your situation, but I dont think your dad should go back to work yet until he has these things under control......but I know how difficult it can be to sway the mind of a demanding man! So keep encouraging him and I hope things work out for you all.
It makes me mad when these people who sit in their comfy little offices try to run peoples lives without knowing what it is like out there in the real world.
As far as Im concerned no-one should leave a spinal unit without knowing how to do these things for themselves. thats what these places are for after all. But I suppose their rules are rules and must be stuck to. Im not sure what to advise in your situation, but I dont think your dad should go back to work yet until he has these things under control......but I know how difficult it can be to sway the mind of a demanding man! So keep encouraging him and I hope things work out for you all.
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