edlee, on May 12 2010, 04:08 PM, said:
While some of what you say, I think you actually believe,, I don't think you give the male of our species the discredit it so richly deserves. I can't say anything about the female psyche,, since I'm always on the outside looking in...
Ed,
I've been thinking about this, and finally found a moment to put some of it down. But it is a big topic. Too big for one or two posts.
The subject of eternal youth is becoming more real every day. We are surrounded by single cell organisms that are millions of years old. We know that our own cells are coded to divide only a few times and then self-destruct. And we are pretty sure that we will soon write in whatever code we like. Just to remind us of how close we are to that ability, we have lately seen new reports of life created in the laboratory. So the fundamental research is on the verge of bearing fruit, even as we speak.
Moreover, beside the One Big Breakthrough, all of the different problems like cancer and diabetes and heart disease are being steadily solved à la carte. So, while there remains a lot to be done, human life, longevity, health and life itself, appears to be made up of a lot of individual puzzles, each of which has a reasonable solution which perfectly competent people are now working to solve in complete confidence of eventual success.
In fact, from an optimistic point of veiw, it is difficult to see how human evolution could now be stopped by anything short of the laws of physics, and the laws of physics have nothing at all to say about how long such a creature might live. Therefore, I think that the questions we are asking here will be extremely important for creatures like ourselves, and that, in the very near future.
In any case...
The question we began with had to do with whether, given our present experience and a youthful body, we would prefer to share our refound youth with a similarly recycled partner, or with a truly young and inexperienced individual, the contemporary perhaps, of our own children, or even our grandchildren.
Now I at first answered that I would pefer an older partner, because I could not find any real satisfaction among the young, except in the roles of parent and teacher, and certainly not as a partner to erotism and reproduction.
But then it was argued, by one (you) who obviously knows of what he speaks, that much of the primary pattern of human eroticism is based upon the relative age and experience of the male, and the relative inexperience and innocence of the female. It is perhaps possible to have a true love of the Romeo and Julliet variety, where the male is at least not less prepared that the female, and it is also possible that a young male could enjoy the initiation to sex through the ministrations of an experienced female, but, as it was argued, it is not likely that an older man would enjoy trying his hand with an experienced female who had very likely known bigger and better along her way.
And to that we might add another line of anecdote that keeps popping up, which seems to show that, as women get older, they also get much less interested in sex, or at least, in what most men think of as sex. Too illustrate the point, it is often found that the same woman who was absolutely insatiable and frankly impossible for her husband to service at the age of twenty, requires copious flattery, back-rubs restaurants and alcohol in order to convince her to have sex even every other month, if that. And all the time, the male must submit to any sort of nonsense at the unreasonable pleasure of his mate.
In the vulgar formula of traditional male wisdom: As the years go by, her eyes get smaller and her mouth gets bigger.
And thus it is concluded that it would always be better to start afresh with someone who really is fresh.
But, what then is the human meaning of our conclusion? Are we to admit, that what we call love is predicated upon the ignorance of the female? Upon an outpouring of affection and sensuality which will naturally dry up as she faces the reality of the adult female life of childbirth and partnership, and particularly upon the selfishness and dependence of both her children and her spouse?
Are we to accept that all of our deepest motivations are the result of what amounts to an elaborate practical joke played upon us by a proccess of evolution which is only interested in assuring the continuation of the species and has hit upon this dodge of unwitting sexual attraction parading as love, and even that only so long as the young are in their cradles.?
Of course I can’t deny that life does actually often appear in this light.
But I would also remark, that we cannot possibly allow matters to stand thus, at least not if we believe in a human future of continued evolution. For if we do become a longer lived species, with the time to make mistakes and new beginnings, then it would seem probable, that after a few decades of seclusion, bitterness, recrimination and pouting about the limitations or treasons of this or that ex-partner, that we would, as individuals, eventually be ready and able to deliberately re-engage with people of a similar maturity.
At least, I think this is the path of the future.
Best,
Gordon
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