6 replies to this topic

[PA01]

Hi Everyone,

I have been working with my client for 12 months now, and have enjoyed a great friendship and working relationship with him. But I have recently been offered a job in my professional field of expertise, and made the decision to quit care and take it. Since informing my client 3 weeks ago (giving 5 weeks notice), he has become really different with me. He's very snappy, difficult to please and generally unpleasant to be around. Obviously working as a live-in carer this is making for some extremely uncomfortable days for me. I am trying to be pleasant but am finding it increasingly difficult.

I know this is probably because he feels out of control of the situation, and probably even let down by me, but this is something we have discussed for quite some time now. It hasn't come out of the blue. Basically, I don't want this to end on a bad note, as we have had such a good relationship in the past. Any advice on what to say to try to smooth things over? I already felt terrible about moving on, but have to do what's best for me from a career perspective. I've enjoyed my time as his PA, have learned so much and am so grateful for the experience, and I don't want to leave with him feeling angry at me.

[catmint]

Hi PAO1

For what it's worth I don't think he is angry at you...that's not to say he isn't angry..and scared. You mention the fact that you have been discussing a career move so it's not out of the blue. He probably hoped it wouldn't happen. Now it has he is taking it out on you..hopefully it will only be temporary, till he gets a grip.

My husband hates change ..it may be as simple as that. He may be scared he won't find another PA to match up to you..then he's got to get to know them..they have to learn his routine, likes and dislikes etc. Some find it easier than others.

Just another thought...he may value your friendship..will you still keep in touch..perhaps he would like to.

It would be awful to end on a sour note, not to mention enduring 5 weeks of hostility. So I would say to talk to him...choose your time...but don't let things end like this.

Hope things improve

L

[PA01]

Thanks catmint.

I don't think he's angry at me as such, more the situation...And believe me I understand how hard it is to get good PAs that want to stick around. I know how much I would hate having to go through teaching a routine etc. I'm just not sure how to approach his mood with him, without making him feel worse.

And I will definitely keep in touch, we spoke about that also. We won't be living that far apart, so I said I would definitely drop in to see him, and am having ramps put in to make my house accessible so he can visit. I know he's probably feeling scared, and out of control...Just makes me feel so mean for leaving!

[qbounce]

I'm just curious, are you his first carer since his injury, or is he a seasoned vet who's been through this routine before?

Either way, as Catmint said, change isn't always easy. Especially when a good, stable and reliable care giver leaves the roost. It's hard to imagine that there's anyone else out there who can be everything that the previous carer was, as well as being a friend. And more often than not, he won't find as good a person as you, who genuinely holds your relationship in a higher regard than employer and employee. Those types of relationships are few and far between, and I'm sure he's having a very hard time coming to terms with the loss of your daily contact.

I'm sure he'll come around soon enough.

Edited by qbounce, 05 June 2010 - 10:25 PM.

[PA01]

He's a seasoned vet qbounce, about 20 years post injury :-) I know he's used to the change, but I guess it's still just as frustrating every time!

[snodrog742]

From my perspective it is very frustrating. I just had 3 VERY good PA's leave these past 2 years and personally I just disconnect from them a little so it's not so hard. He might be doing this so it's a little easier on him when you do leave? Just my thoughts

[PA01]

That's a very good point snodrog, I hadn't thought of it like that.