3 replies to this topic

[newtous]

My boyfriend and i have been together for a year.

I met him as a t7. We have a wonderful relationship. What do you partners do when your partner wants to give up?

I feel helpless to help him overcome. He says i will never know what it is like for him to want to walk and can't. He's right. But i never know what to say or do. Sometimes he talks about giving up and just wanting to die he can't take this no more. Mind you he has been a t7 for 11 years.

My thought was you should have adjusted by now. I was very wrong. I realize that is not the only issue that might be going on with him.

Someone who's been in my shoes please help.

[Jilly]

Hi newtous,

I know how you feel. My guy never mentions wanting to give up but he does get bouts of depression where he gets very quiet and grumpy and wont look me in the eye. ( hes in one of these moods at the moment ) I can never break him out of this black mood and I dont know what to do about it. He tells me not to worry he will get through it. A day or two and hes back to normal. Its usually when hes in a lot of pain and feeling fed up. I hate it but theres nothing I can do. Hes been T5 for 28 years. I can understand when he gets low like this but I still hate it. I have no advice for you except to wait until the mood lifts.

[Herbs]

I'm a quadrapeligic c5\6 trust me i know what hes going through. Just give him time and leave him alone he will be ok.

[Gary Anderson]

So says me too. I am 16/17 years in a chair - although up to my accident at New Year could walk on sticks. Despite this I STILL get bouts of blackness. Like a monster, creeping up over your back and shoulders and then engulfing you. I still have days when all I want is to be normal - relationships, walking, running - I know I cannot have those things and I know life is different but it does not help me.

I am sure that even when I am 30 years down the line I will still feel this way. It's not an injustice or anything like that I cannot explain it. Never could even to Suzy when she was around. Perhaps - I dont know but I have the feeling that it was partly due to these feelings that caused the break up.

At the end of the day, my family know that I still suffer although I try to do it internally - outside I look OK -inside I am screaming.

I dont do pills or potions that only masks it. However, I keep hoping that one day the black monster will leave me.