Quadriplegic & Paraplegic Spinal Cord Injuries: Having A Son - Quadriplegic & Paraplegic Spinal Cord Injuries

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Having A Son Too hard for a quad? Rate Topic: -----

#1 User is offline   Lauren85 

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Posted 23 July 2010 - 10:11 PM

Something that came up when Jonah and I were talking last night, We were just talking about the future and the possibility of having kids Jonah came up with that he'd be scared to try because if we had a son he doesn't think he could be a "proper" dad for a son. He's great with my daughter Amber but he said it's because "girls are made better to have a quad as a dad". We were just talking and have no plans in trying for a baby for a long time to come, I just thought this was silly as can be and the chair wouldn't matter to a boy just the same as it doesn't matter to Amber. I know he has to be wrong on this and that quads out there do fine with having a son-Lauren

This post has been edited by Lauren85: 23 July 2010 - 10:12 PM

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#2 User is offline   quadinva 

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Posted 24 July 2010 - 03:01 AM

Hey Lauren,
tell noah that i think his reasoning is hogwash haha. sounds like hes doing and will continue to do a great job with amber. and that doesnt mean he needs to teach her how to do a ballet turn, or show her how to apply makeup etc. My dads father died when he was very young and grew up with just a mom. he turned out very well and successful. He wasnt your typical dad with me, ie he doesnt have any interests in sports, "manly" things, etc. hes kinda dorky haha(hes a retired professor) Nonetheless i grew up playing sports and being the typical "manly" jock. he couldnt relate to my interests but he did/does love and support me to the fullest. All ou can ask for from a parent is love, support, and guidance (and maybe an allowance) all of which can be adequately provided from a chair as easily as from a walking parent (not to suggest that i think parenting will be "easy"). Eventhough im a quad i hope atleast one of my kids is a boy (in due time of course)

-Bags-
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#3 User is offline   Tetracyclone 

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Posted 24 July 2010 - 01:46 PM

Excuse me? Amber needs to know how to hit a baseball and drive a nail, so hubby better start thinking.
Look! It's a snail! It's a sloth! Able to creep short distances before lunch!
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#4 User is offline   Talia-Sky 

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Posted 24 July 2010 - 03:29 PM

Please tell Jonah that being a great Dad has nothing to do with being able bodied. My Dad is a c5 and let me tell you I would not trade him for anything in this world, I love my Dad more then life it's self. On to his idea of a quad not able to be a 'proper" Dad for a boy he's wrong, I have a 7 month old brother and we have another baby on the way. I know my brother Anthony will never know the Dad I knew before his accident but I'm certain that won't be a issue to him. At only 7 months old he lights up when our Dad rolls in from work and starts with the "DADADADA". A Dad doesn't have to be the one to teach a boy sports, in the end it's not what a child remembers. It's all about having a loving Dad to be there to tell you he loves you, to give you a kiss or to tell you that you can achieve anything you want. One thing that I've found from my Dad's accident, it taught me to cherish every single second with him. I've seen the children of my Dad's fallen Marine friends have to bury their Dad's, they'd give anything to have their Dad back in any form even as a quadriplegic.

We are some of the incredibly lucky ones to have our Dad in our life. I have no doubt Amber and any future children you might have will feel the same way. Tell Jonah to just have a little faith and enjoy each day.

Have a great day with a great big smile on :-)

This post has been edited by Talia-Sky: 24 July 2010 - 03:31 PM

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#5 User is offline   Brazen 

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Posted 26 July 2010 - 11:50 PM

I don't think it's that. I think it's about him not being able to be what he feels a dad should be. I think every guy has a idea of what kind of father they want to be to their son.. Daughters are different. What he feels is important in a girls life a mother will teach her that. But to have to be on the sidelines and watch someone else teach his son all the things he wants to is very hard.. but I'm sure he'll come around....
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#6 User is offline   wheeels 

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Posted 27 July 2010 - 04:54 PM

I'm a para and have 2 boys and feel I can teach them the things that matter, I am not sure what the manly things he feels he needs to teach them maybe peeing standing up?

If he can raise a girl then he can raise a boy, no different.
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#7 User is offline   jistvinez 

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Posted 29 July 2010 - 03:52 PM

Hi

I have a 18 month son, which we do tons of stuff together. Just because you may not be able bodied don't mean you cant be a good father
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