6 replies to this topic

[Joed]

Hi MK...

Just the fact that you're seeking out 'where the rubber meets the road', so to speak, tells me that you'll be exceptional at your job.

My best advice is to be yourself and follow your gut.

Be aware of his pain indicators...as someone with a spinal defect from birth, I know that children sometimes do not verbalize everything like we think they would.

Again, from a child's perspective...for me, it was confusing, if not a little scary, to be told that I was brave. I didn't feel brave, and since all the adults in my life were saying I was, I didn't have a comfortable place to talk about my fears. I think it's okay to say a child is brave, but temper that with the understanding that bravery is the ability to act in the presence of fear, not necessarily overcoming the fear.

Find those things he CAN do. Be on a constant search to find new things that he can be successful doing. Variety and modification are key.

I can't speak to the medical side of this...as I don't know his particulars, and there are other members here who can address that aspect much better than I could.

The Best to You in Your New Position!

~Joed

[stef01be]

Hi Metal Kitty,

Congrats with the new job.

The "young lad" is one lucky guy to get someone so carring and motivated to help him continue rehab and organize his life.

Sounds like he's new to this too so my advise would be to allow him to, maybe even make him to make his decisions himself.
About anything really... he needs to learn that, even if he can't do much by himself anymore, he can still be responsible for things to happen.
It's a dignity thing that is often overlooked: caregivers often do things "their way" because they think they know best, work faster that way, or just forget to ask how the person they care for wants it to be done and that person often doesn't have the heart/courage to say anything about it because they are afraid to seem "ungratefull".
Not because they think he can't make these decisions but because it seems so obvious to them.
He has to learn to explain people exactly what he wants, for his sake.

Talk, avoid misunderstandings, listen to him but be sure to say what you think as well, learn from eachother.

Laugh a lot, it's worth the effort.

About the "quad" thing, let him explain what his condition implies exactly, that way you'll find out how he sees/calls and feels about it himself and you'll go from there.
It's different for everyone of us. Some hate the word, some don't want to be called "disabled", others go for "gimp", there's no rule, it can even depend on the person that's saying it... it will be "trial and error" I'm afraid.

Good luck
Stef

[Yvette]

Hi MK,

My partner Kevin has also suffered a C2 injury in June of this year so I am new to this also. My advice to you would be to listen to him and treat him as the young man he is and show him the respect he deserves.

My partner is only 31 however is talked to like he is a child by some members of his family.

Although they are paralysed they are still the same people inside. Listen to his fears and concerns. Remain positive and hopeful for the future. No one knows what is around the corner.

The two of you should build a good relationship by working together. Take guidance from him also. He will know what he wants. Give him as much independence as is humanly possible.

I am sure you will be very good for him as you seem to have the right kind of attitude.

Keep in touch as I will probable need some advice too.

Take care

Yvette