7 replies to this topic

[Rachel75]

Hello,

need a bit of help and thought this might be the best place to start. I am a complete C5/6 and am married with a lovely baby girl who is nearly 16 months old and has just suddenly turned into a fully fledged toddler. She is gorgeous and friendly and sociable but I am a first time Mum and feel like I'm flailing at times and need to get to grips with her properly. I work round the injury with her as much as possible and I feel things are mainly going well and that she is having fun and learning etc but I think I would really benefit from other peoples learning. Obviously every child is different and likes to do certain things but as a very new toddler she is currently much more interested in her environment than her toys so I am on the look out for creative type stuff we can do together on our own if possible. Also if anyone has any bright ideas about how to overcome the where to play together most effectively issue, then that would be great too. We have a booster seat on a dining room table and this gives us some leeway because at least then we can sit at the table together but if anyone has anything more ingenius up their sleeves then please let me know. Today we have done 2 puzzles, had messy play with water and various household objects like cup, sieves, corks etc, baked a cake, been to the park and read a book. That's the kind of thing we do but creative play doesn't come naturally to me so suggestions very welcome.

Thanks for your help.

Rachel
P.S. If anyone has any tips about how to have energy that lasts all day and has more to be a fab and sexy wife after dark for husband then that would be great....Thanks all.

[mellowgator]

i have 2 daughters who are 22 months apart. when the oldest was 18 months i enrolled her in pre-school so she could socialize and to give me time with the little one. i also put her in ballet at around 2 and soccer at 3 or 4.
i taught the girls to read at 4. i also took them to the zoo and we also had season passes to sea world.
instead of playing on the ground we used my bed. i also taught them how to float if they fell into the pool so i could go outside with confidence.
i also would strap the kids on my lap with a big velcro strap so i could get up my ramp to the mini-van safely. this is how i got around one was velcroed to my lap and the other would walk holding my hand.
hope some of this helps.

our church had a mom's day out a couple of mornings a week and i would let the girls go to this is well. i met a lot of other mother's there and the girl met some nice friends that they still have to this day and they're in high school.

sex is another matter. i was usually tired at night. date night with a sitter is the way to go there.

mellowgator

Edited by mellowgator, 15 September 2010 - 10:02 PM.

[Tetracyclone]

LOL, AB Moms/wives would like to know that secret to energy that lasts all day, if you can find it!

[tyvin]

These days kids are expected to be able to read and write (writing their name etc...) by the time they hit pre-school or while they attend. When my sons were younger the oldest learned how to read at school in kindergarten and my last who is 12 now was expected and taught these skills in pre-school. Times have changed and it is the child whose parents don't teach them the basics right off the bat that suffer. Now that we know kids are able to achieve academic achievements at such an early age it is becoming the norm.

Your child is at the age where you should be reading to her, have beginner reading books and teach her. You will be amazed at how kids learn.

Don't make the mistake of overcompensating because of your injury. I mean; don't spend every waking minute playing with her thinking that because your injured you must do more. She needs time on her own (with supervision of course) to explore. Child proof your house and always remember at that age they use there mouth to see what everything is. Everything's in the mouth. But this is good; they just need appropriate toys for the exploring. Cut grapes and hot dogs lengthwise and put the cleaning stuff on a top shelf.

The energy comes from within.

[pinkcloud]

Rachel75, on 15 September 2010 - 08:56 PM, said:

Rachel
P.S. If anyone has any tips about how to have energy that lasts all day and has more to be a fab and sexy wife after dark for husband then that would be great....Thanks all.

Hi rachael

My boys are much older now - and I still feel somewhat like you do with a young toddler. I cant take them out as much as I used to or go on rides at alton towers, drive out somewhere just for the giggle of it or take them to the seaside as an impulsive last minute thought. I cried and cried my heart about this - then one day my eldest caught me crying and i explained how I felt. He said 'mam we love you for who you are - yeah its sad but keep on being strong and getting better. We love our mam and thats all that matters, we love you for you, not what you can do'. I understand your child cant say that yet - but by joves I bet she would if she could. Look how you speak of her one here - I bet a lot of kids with AB mums wished their parents cared even half as much as you do for yours

Having a young baby now is a no-no for me now. And I cant express enough how I truly admire your strength and the energy you much have. I am lucky I had mine long before sci appeared. As for husband time...... its better to have 'exciting times' when you have the energy than 'oh ok then times' when you are totally tired. In other words if three times a week is all you can manage now-adays instead of seven - so what? Wanting hanky panky at all is more than a lot of blokes get with an AB wife, who dont want it at all with their partners.

Keep being you, you sound like you have got it spot on

Edited by pinkcloud, 16 September 2010 - 09:17 AM.

[jenny407]

My link to another thread: click here

Dear Rachel,

I'm AB and thus can only talk about what I know.
First I've attached a link above to another thread on this forum. It's about a similar question concerning 3-year-old kids but it could get you into contact with other parents (you might also pm members if you wish) and it could give you some additional ideas.

Second I'd like to stress what has been said by others: It's in no way what you can do with your child that counts, it's who you are, how you feel about her. I've got two older children (14 and 20 now) and find it's a lot our talking, joking, being together, giving them confidence, taking them seriously that has bound us together. As an AB, I also lack creative ideas and energy sometimes (ok, that's different, but still). I do realize your situation is different - and when kids start getting mobile about the house, that would be a challenge. What I mean is: You've got every reason to be very confident about being a good mum. All the things you are doing with her: great. Like tyvin said, sometimes children can also play by themselves, it's even good for them. (OK, mine didn't like to ... but still.)

Third: "In other words if three times a week is all you can manage now-adays instead of seven - so what? Wanting hanky panky at all is more than a lot of blokes get with an AB wife, who dont want it at all with their partners." (quote from pinkcloud)
ha ha ha ha! (no comment) (OK, agreed!)

All the very best, Rachel.
Do enjoy the time with your little daughter. Children are absolutely wonderful (and a challenge at times )

Jenny

[hanma51]

Rachel,
As a mother of a t-6, 26 yo daughter, and grandmother of her 6 yo daughter, nurse, preschool assistant, wife, etc., I am amazed at all you have accomplished thus far. It's wonderful that you are developing such a strong relationship with you daughter. Just you being there is what she needs to develop into a secure and loving adult. The love and attention from you and your husband will help her more than anything. Other posts have prioritized things you have not doubt done already, like child proofing your home. Safety is a big issue with toddlers. They are always exploring and it is a natural part of their development. Your job is to ensure they are safe. Children need the space to learn things on their own, or with a parallel buddy. Yes, the ABC"s are great to teach at a young age, but there is nothing more important than life experiences. I ran across a website when my granddaughter was in preschool. ( www.escapadedirect.com) You can find some free recipes and projects for children in preschool. As you are aware, the attention span (at 16 months old) is about 3-5 minutes, if your lucky. This is a concern for ALL mothers. not just someone with a spinal cord injury. Finding the time to read to her is important, academics is great... but find time for her to take the time to enjoy the outdoors. My grandkids loved playing in the dirt. Although it is muddy, dirty... etc., their pediatric mother never complained because she understood that the exposure to germs is healthy. It is really good for them. I enjoyed their mud creations. There is so much to learn about nature, science, art, engineering, mathematics, etc. ....... It's all so fun, and its free. ..... just have a bucket of water ready for them when they're done.

Sometimes one thinks they have to be all things for all people. But you'll break sooner if you continue on that path. Take the time to take care of yourself. It's OK to have someone else watch your child. It's a great break for the both of you. It's OK to take some "me" time. Do something you enjoy doing... or find a way to pamper yourself. Your husband will notice the glow back in your face, and find you sexier than ever. There's no secret...it's within you.

[mcwriter]

Hi Rachel,

A couple of thoughts for you..
My pots and pans are in some lower cabinets. I used to allow mine to access one cabinet to play in the pans, take them out stack them, make lots of noise and they were pretty good about putting them back. (It was worth giving them a wash before use--lol)

They love to collect things, do a sort of Easter Egg hunt-thing. You can drop some or sort of 'hide' a few things around a room, give your child a little bucket and have them collect the objects.

Edited by mcwriter, 18 September 2010 - 01:28 PM.