18 replies to this topic

[Gary Anderson]

Right - here's one to start off the week.

I was away for the weekend at a conference, staying in quite a posh hotel (for me anyway) and I was amazed when I was complemented on how "pleasant" I was despite being in a chair.

However, I soon realised why I was being complemented.

Staying in the same hotel was a couple - the hubby in a chair - I kid you not he had a face like thunder. I KNOW folk will come back and say he could be in pain, however, I still say that is no reason for rudeness when you hold open doors (Yes, I do this despite the chair) or if you offer help or assistance they growl at you.

Why do some (not all) chair users have unpleasant dispositions. After all it is not the world's fault that they are in them. I dont go around being bad mannered just because of the chair. If someone offers assistance then I accept it graciously.

Anyone care to comment?

[rosalie]

Gary -

Does it really have anything to do with being in a chair? Some people are just plain grumpy....

I think that grumpy wheelchair users are noticed more than grumpy able-bodied because wheelchair users draw attention in any event... just my opinion

Rosalie

[Lucydog]

Oh Gary,
top marks for being so funny here!!! Are we talking Grumpy Old Men perhaps? Is it an age thing? If not maybe they are stuck with such a heavy unweildy chair its enough to make anyone cross. This is my usual experience. Im always cheerful even though I do feel as if I have a huge electric spike shoved up my bum most of the time!!!! LOL . I only look a bit cross when Im struggling up an incline in the rain and then thats usually concentration! I make a point of catching peoples eye and smiling, it makes a huge difference and Ive also made sure my chair is quite funky and I get a lot of complements about it.

[In The Wind]

I’m normally pleasant and easy going but I sometimes can get a little gruff with some folks especially if they start grabbing and pushing,

The opening doors thing can start to piss me off if they hold open the door and then stand in the way, you know what I mean? Push a door open from the inside and it forces them to stand in the way, I’d rather they just stayed out of the way. It’s just not intuitive to them that people in a chair need a lot more space to get around.

It’s a nice gesture, sure. But I just pushed across the parking lot because all of the handicapped parking is full of old folks or people “just running in” so I think I can handle the door.

I’ve come close to chewing the heads off of folks for trying to help when I don’t want it or need it. I have to remind myself that they are just bystanders and probably have no concept of what I can or cannot do, but all in all I’d rather they just went about their business and left me alone.

[Gary Anderson]

Knew I had opened a can with that one. It bothers me not what I can or cannot do. If folk offer help I will take it. Mind you maybe "our" attitude does not help. So that could explain why folks in general just go about their business and common courtesies have fallen by the wayside.

Ah well! I can but dream that folks will be civil to me. Perhaps in the after life they will.

Mind you, it never did bother me if folks asked if they could assist me when going up kerbs or what have you. Especially now, since my arm has become disabled.

Still to sleep, perchance to dream.

[xMaddiex]

i dont think its just people in wheelchairs, im grumpy quite a lot and noone really notices but i guess if people are overly nice and smiley and stuff its just as scary and annoying as grumpy people really.

i just realised that made no sense but im too tired to type it all up again.

[Jilly]

what makes my man grumpy in public is the STARES. you know the ones....

One person actually stopped in their tracks and stared open mouthed just last week. He doesnt mind too much when kids stare as they are just being curious but adults should have more manners. its very offensive.

[Bookjunky]

Some are grumpy because they were like that before. I have met wheelers with a good sense of humor.

[chimneygirl]

Start the day grumpy and what a bad day!

Go out and smile, say thankyou if someone helps, if they are a hinderance, so what, they tried and that is what counts!

[Avocado Baby]

chimneygirl, on May 29 2006, 02:25 PM, said:

Start the day grumpy and what a bad day!

Go out and smile, say thankyou if someone helps, if they are a hinderance, so what, they tried and that is what counts!

I agree...it doesn't take a second to smile and say thanks when someone holds a door open for you. I always try and make an effort to smile at people when I'm just going about my business even though it is extremely difficult when you're in alot of pain or just having a crap day.

I do agree with In The Wind that I do sometimes want to tell people to off when I'm getting my chair in the car or something because sometimes it can be more of a hidderance because they mess up my method and make it harder. I never do get angry at them though as they're only trying to help. Then there are other times when I'm really tired when I'm grateful for the help. I guess it must be difficult for people to know when to offer help and when not to.

[Roooost]

In The Wind, on May 2 2006, 09:18 PM, said:

I’m normally pleasant and easy going but I sometimes can get a little gruff with some folks especially if they start grabbing and pushing,

The opening doors thing can start to piss me off if they hold open the door and then stand in the way, you know what I mean? Push a door open from the inside and it forces them to stand in the way, I’d rather they just stayed out of the way. It’s just not intuitive to them that people in a chair need a lot more space to get around.

It’s a nice gesture, sure. But I just pushed across the parking lot because all of the handicapped parking is full of old folks or people “just running in” so I think I can handle the door.

I’ve come close to chewing the heads off of folks for trying to help when I don’t want it or need it. I have to remind myself that they are just bystanders and probably have no concept of what I can or cannot do, but all in all I’d rather they just went about their business and left me alone.

Im with you, im generally pleasant but there are a few things that just get to me. The standing in the door holding the door open is probably the most annoying thing!! or even in a packed elevator if your at the back of the lift they stand and hold the door from the inside and let you out first before exiting leaving you with no option but to run over their toes to get out.... If your closest to the door and getting out just get out and get out of my way, the door will stay open on its own!

Oh and how about this one, im wheeling down the street hopping some curbs and this guy actually said to me "That looks like fun!" i held my toung and said nothing but i swear there's just something wrong with some people. Sure its a bit of fun doing wheelies and hoping curbs but considering my other options may be walking, riding a bike, roller blading or skatebording down the street what a stupid comment.

in the end i just want to be treated like anyone else, if i need help i will ask for it. If someone started pushing me without even asking id definatly snap at them..... Often it is a mionority of peoples attitudes towards the disabled that makes us grumpy and sometimes unfortunatly we take it out on people that are just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Edited by Roooost, 30 May 2006 - 04:37 AM.

[HiltonP]

Strange . . . People holding open doors for me don't bother me. I see it as a sign of good manners! If I was able-bodied would I be considered wrong to hold doors open for elderly folk, or a pregnant woman, or a mother with a pram? I hope not. I hold doors open for able-bodied people with my wheelchair. Is that considered poor form?

I tell you what does p*ss me off . . . It's when people DON’T hold lift (elevator) doors open, and then as the last one steps out the doors close. Then I have to dive forward and jam my chair in the doors to stop them, or reverse to reach the buttons again, by which time the doors have closed. Grrr.

[Avocado Baby]

I hate it when people pat me on the head!!!

[ladybug]

My husband doesnt use his chair much outside. Once we went to the fair, and he brought his chair and his crutch. He was looking at something so I sat in his chair. He told me to pay attention to people and how they look at me. I got a lot of mean looks! WHY? Do they expect to see an older person in the chair and not a 20-something? Maybe thats why WC users are grumpy

[xMaddiex]

jasons not grumpy ever, its kind of weird. hes always super-happy but people still give him really nasty looks, especially when his friends park in disabled spaces so he can get himself and his chair out etc. etc. people either give us horrible looks or are over willing to help, which is nice to a certain extent but when people practically push me or his sister or his friends or whoevers with him out of the way to help him, especially with doors and stuff he doesnt need help with, it is really annoying. but since theyre only trying to help and be friendly, theres not much you can say except "im fine thanks" because snapping at them can only give a worse stereotype to people on wheelchairs.

[jamesgirl]

I notice that I get more dirty looks when I am wearing one of the Hop on Baby shirts. Whether James and I are together or not I always get dirty looks from older people. They notice James then my shirt then scowel. . . I think it's funny.
We joke everytime I wear it "How many people can we piss off today?"

Good Clean Fun!!!

It's fun when some old man is waiting for our parking spot and instead of hurrying to move we take our time maybe a short make out session. That pisses them off the most.

It's always fun with an audience.

Sometime he'll notice someone staring at us and he'll say hey baby give me a kiss and he'll prolong the kiss. and then look back at them and say something along the lines of "Well if your going to watch, atleast throw us a twenty"

People that don't understand sometimes come across as rude.

[xMaddiex]

jamesgirl, on Jun 2 2006, 10:54 PM, said:

I notice that I get more dirty looks when I am wearing one of the Hop on Baby shirts. Whether James and I are together or not I always get dirty looks from older people. They notice James then my shirt then scowel. . . I think it's funny.
We joke everytime I wear it "How many people can we piss off today?"

Good Clean Fun!!!

It's fun when some old man is waiting for our parking spot and instead of hurrying to move we take our time maybe a short make out session. That pisses them off the most.

It's always fun with an audience.

Sometime he'll notice someone staring at us and he'll say hey baby give me a kiss and he'll prolong the kiss. and then look back at them and say something along the lines of "Well if your going to watch, atleast throw us a twenty"

People that don't understand sometimes come across as rude.

haha, i keep planning to get jason a top like that! i love the looks old people give you, sure it annoys me but it makes me laugh too.

[Roooost]

Haha.... Its fun toying with people sometimes. The wife and i sometime go shopping together and i'll take off to go grab something from another isle. If people are watching when i come back i'll wheel past and pich her ass and just keep on rolling like i dont know her.... we get some awesome funny looks from people.