7 replies to this topic

[Jenna's Mom]

Until the start of this school year Jenna has always been very proud of who she is. When she started 1st grade it seems she's becoming very self conscious of her chair, it breaks my heart. All I've ever wanted is her to be happy and proud of who she is. She's been starting to ask questions like why can't she do ballet like her friends or will she ever be able to walk. Jenna works so hard in therapy, she's come farther then anyone could have dreamed. She has never had trouble making friends, though she has recently dealt with some teasing from other kids. We've always tried to raise Jenna to be proud of her self, lately it's just not working, all I want is to help my little baby. How do I help Jenna not be so self conscious? Is it possible?

[attachment=9553:1school.jpg][attachment=9554:6woohoo.jpg]

Edited by Jenna's Mom, 02 October 2010 - 09:54 PM.

[Josh D._1985]

First off I would just like to say that you have a beautiful daughter. It also sounds like she has an excellent support group behind her.

I don't think I have a very good answer to your question. But I would just share that, not staying cooped up at home, and getting out in public as much has I can has helped me avoid being self-conscious. I guess it has probably allowed me to build up my defenses and thicken my skin. Also finding activities that I am successful at has helped me build confidence. Perhaps other than ballet there is some other form of art she enjoys and is capable of doing, such as painting. I would also add that trying to baby her too much, which I'm not saying you're doing, will probably hinder the process of her gaining confidence.

Hope this helps. Josh

[JimG]

Jenna, on 02 October 2010 - 09:52 PM, said:

Until the start of this school year Jenna has always been very proud of who she is. When she started 1st grade it seems she's becoming very self conscious of her chair, it breaks my heart. All I've ever wanted is her to be happy and proud of who she is. She's been starting to ask questions like why can't she do ballet like her friends or will she ever be able to walk. Jenna works so hard in therapy, she's come farther then anyone could have dreamed. She has never had trouble making friends, though she has recently dealt with some teasing from other kids. We've always tried to raise Jenna to be proud of her self, lately it's just not working, all I want is to help my little baby. How do I help Jenna not be so self conscious? Is it possible?

1school.jpg 6woohoo.jpg

What a cutie.....

Tell her that while she's young and there maybe things she can't do.....

Her disability isn't going to keep her from doing great things in the future.

I don't know how you feel about contacting "strangers" and having them send her emails, and/or good wishes, but they're great guys who have overcome their challenges/disabilities and done some incredible things.

They also have a spirit about them and I know they'd be happy to pass along encouragement to her.



We met Nick Scott at the Mr. Olympia bodybuilding show last weekend and he's an incredible guy with a beautiful spirit.

Not only is he into bodybuilding, but also ballroom dancing.



http://www.nickfitness.com/home


Chris Waddell is an acquaintance who lives here in town and we've had dinner with him and talked about ways to further our mutual causes.

Chris has won more Olympic medals than any other paralympic athlete and climbed Mt. Kilamanjaro last year with a modified hand-cycle.

Chris is a motivational speaker and frequently talks in schools to kids about acceptance of disabilities.



http://www.one-revolution.com/

Shoot them an email and I'm sure they'll respond to give her encouragement to never stop.

Edited by JimG, 02 October 2010 - 10:53 PM.

[Kelli2]

I feel where your coming from on wanting Jenna to be proud, my husband Joey and I are in the process of adopting a 4 year old little girl named Giana who is in a wheelchair. Giana has Spinal Muscular Atrophy type 2/3, she like Jenna very much wants to be a ballerina. I've been doing ballet from the age of 2 and now teach dance to young children, Giana takes ballet just like every other little girl her age. She may be in a wheelchair but she lives for ballet just like myself and my 18 month old Destiny Love. I strongly urge you to look in to finding a dance studio, most instructors would be more then happy to involve Jenna, we're in the business to expose young girls to the joy of ballet. There is absolutely no reason Jenna should ever miss out.

As for the video of Nick Scott doing ball room that is another great idea to look in to getting Jenna involved with. I've been doing competitive Ball room dancing since the age of 8 with my brother Wyatt, it was a huge part of our lives until Wyatt was injured in 2006. I tried to give it up after he was injured and did until Wyatt found out about dancing in a chair early 2009. It's taken us a bit to figure it out and get back in to the swing, but we're back and ready to start showing people how it's done.

I wish you and Jenna all the luck in the world and hope to see Jenna dancing someday. You have a very beautiful daughter, you can feel her sweet spirit threw her picture.

[JimG]

Kelli2, on 04 October 2010 - 06:38 PM, said:

As for the video of Nick Scott doing ball room that is another great idea to look in to getting Jenna involved with. I've been doing competitive Ball room dancing since the age of 8 with my brother Wyatt, it was a huge part of our lives until Wyatt was injured in 2006. I tried to give it up after he was injured and did until Wyatt found out about dancing in a chair early 2009. It's taken us a bit to figure it out and get back in to the swing, but we're back and ready to start showing people how it's done.

Congratulations.

We all need heroes to look up to and inspire us, no matter how old/young we are.

The guys I posted about are ones that I either know personally, or have met and both inspired me.

In the same way.....I'm sure you and Wyatt are someone else's heroes.

[HiltonP]

Jenna, on 02 October 2010 - 09:52 PM, said:

We've always tried to raise Jenna to be proud of her self, lately it's just not working . . .

We need to accept that people change throughout their lives, and little people change really fast during their younger lives. What worked for a 3yo will not necessarily work for a 5yo, or an 8yo, etc, etc. Teaching pride is a strange thing. To be proud one needs to have something to be proud of. Blind/mindless pride is shallow and easily broken down. Rather than trying to project pride to her, ask her to project her reasons for pride to you. You may then find why it is not working.

Jenna, on 02 October 2010 - 09:52 PM, said:

. . . all I want is to help my little baby.

Right there is something you can address. She is no longer a baby. She is a young girl, your daughter, she's Jenna . . . she stopped being a baby a couple of years ago. Babies are helpless and needy, young girls are becoming independent and concious.

Jenna, on 02 October 2010 - 09:52 PM, said:

How do I help Jenna not be so self conscious?

This might be addressed by reverting to the first point above. By asking Jenna to describe herself you will gain insight into how she believes others will perceive her. She cannot escape her disability, but you can help her to equip/arm herself with the necessary skills to deal with the publics view of her (which will range from negative, to condescending, to positive). Jenna must not shrink away from society. She needs good communication skills, knowledge of her disability, and the confidence to manage herself independently.

[dangerousdave]

Always be honest and truthful with her questions
Ensure she partisipates in all kiddy stuff through the school she attends (she has yet to decide what she can and cannot do - those desicions are not yours to make LoL)
See what disabled clubs and groups are in your area - but do not think she will want to go to them - again that is for her to deside

In short
Be honest
Expand her partisipation at school
Expand her partisipation outside school
It will be harder for you then it will be for Jenna
LoL

[Lucky]

Time - this is the bottom line I believe. Just make sure you all live as normal life as possible and just do as you are doing..... being the best mum you can. I can't imagine one of my niece's being the disabled one but when she needs a hug, hugs it is and when she needs space give it to her.
Might sound familiar but there will be good and bad days, just "keep on keeping on" and what's done's done..... We all just have to make do the best we can.
She's Lucky to have you!

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