5 replies to this topic

[DanniBaby]

My 7 year old sister, Lily has been paralyzed for two years now. She is at C8... My mother started working again about 3 months now..After school I have to watch her now. I am 9 years older than her and I dont know what to do. She is always so quiet and it seems if she is almost depressed. She doesn't want to do anything..Any ideas of what I can do to make her feel happpy or to help her?

[mcwriter]

 DanniBaby, on 06 October 2010 - 09:01 PM, said:

My 7 year old sister, Lily has been paralyzed for two years now. She is at C8... My mother started working again about 3 months now..After school I have to watch her now. I am 9 years older than her and I dont know what to do. She is always so quiet and it seems if she is almost depressed. She doesn't want to do anything..Any ideas of what I can do to make her feel happpy or to help her?

More specific info would be helpful.

It may very well be that since her mom isn't right there, she is quiet because of the change in her routine, feelings that her mom has left her, sort of an insecurity thing. You can help her by just doing things with her. Let her in on things you would normally do after school. Let her in on things that you like.

I have a sister who is about 9 years older than me. When I was a little kid, she was in highschool and she would share with me things she was learning or just stuff she liked to do by letting me try different things or we would talk about music she liked, etc. Just spending time with her was such a big deal to me.

You might not think you have anything interesting to share, but you do. She is interested in everything you have to say. Play dress-up---Halloween is coming, you two could help each other come up with costumes. Treat her like a friend, a pal and the ideas will flow. Make your time together special and something to look forward to.

I can tell you that my sister was busy. Soon she was off to college and got married after that. But I will always treasure those times when she introduced me to new things, when she made me feel important, unique, and like I had talents for things. She is far away now and when we talk I can still feel what we had when I was little. I named my daughter after her.

[Snakeye]

Watch funny movies with her.Make her laugh.. Read her books or play games...Listen to music together...Be inventive and add some spark to the poor childs life....The exsperience will enrich the both of you..It's nice that you care...Be Well..

[jscott92064]

 Snakeye, on 06 October 2010 - 10:33 PM, said:

Watch funny movies with her.Make her laugh.. Read her books or play games...Listen to music together...Be inventive and add some spark to the poor childs life....The exsperience will enrich the both of you..It's nice that you care...Be Well..

Can you also get her outside, into the fresh air and the sunshine? That helps my husband feel better.

Try some fun "girl" stuff like doing her hair or nails too.

Also, can you invite other kids her age over? That may help.

You are a wonderful gift to her. Please hear that.

[guido]

Often with children we forget that they can be more straight forward than adults. They can have a fear of somehow letting an adult down for feeling bad or unhappy and so do not share the problem. But when things are explained to them in an honest, direct and clear manner it can solve many things. Take time to sit with her, and tell her that you have noticed that she seems down, that you would like to help her feel better, but you need to know what is the problem. She needs to understand that whatever she feels is normal and can be solved, and that she is not letting anyone down. It might be a simple wrong perception of something which you can resolve with an explanation of how things are, or it might be something more significant that needs an understanding and sympathetic approach (maybe professional help). Let her talk, ask questions, and be very careful not to cut her off or put her down. When we are young, our fears can be very real and trust is everything.


I am often amazed at how understanding something can resolve the negative emotions and feelings. But that understanding sometimes has to come from an objective perspective.


I hope you get this sorted. Children deserve every happiness.

[The Black Sheep]

I was injured when I was 13, which is a bit older than your sister, but the one person that really made a difference in feeling "normal" and happy again was my older sister by 2 years. My mom was my care giver for about the 1st year after my injury and I started to gain a little bit more of my independence after that, but I was still at home all the time and depressed a lot. When my sister got her driver's license, she would take me to the park and feed geese stale Cheerios. I think this was my biggest break in my depression. I felt like I had a friend who wanted to be with me again.

Do anything with your sister. What did she like to do before her injury? Does she like the outdoors? Does she like movies? Video games? Music? Just try to start anything.

I went through a little bit of a rough spot a few months ago where I slept in until about 2 PM, woke up, combed my hair, sat on the computer for 6 hours then went back to bed. If it's affordable, maybe try something like a Nintendo Wii or the Play Station 3 Move. I remember reading an article somewhere about the Wii being used in a child's rehab center to help engage children in physical, social therapy, and it's quite fun!

Just try anything that she can join into. I think the Wii or Move would be awesome, and it would possibly make her feel like she has some more movement and freedom, and also companionship with a friend.

I'm a video gamer, so I'm bias towards games because they distract from the reality that life sometimes has its sucky moments. Everyone has a hobby or something they like, though, and if she can do those things with you, she'll probably have a lot of fun and a friend to do it with.