18 replies to this topic

[lbcline04]

Hi! I'm new here. I've been with my bf for a few months now and he is a paraplegic. Its coming up on his 7 year accident anniversary very soon. I wanted to just say that I've been snooping and reading through these messages and I realize that I'm not as alone as I thought!! We haven't had any problems with him being w/c bound however I felt like this was going to be harder the longer we were together but reading what you all have posted makes me feel even more that what we have is truely like any other relationship!

Anyway, is there anything special or a certain tradition that anyone does for the "accident anniversary"? His happens to be New Years Eve and its our first together.

Sorry about the title... I was trying to Multi-task and it didn't work out to well! lol

Edited by Apparelyzed, 05 November 2010 - 08:30 AM.
Title edited.

[cas]

Hi , I guess everyones different. For my first anniversary last year we had all my friends over, a takeaway, lots of wine and a really good night. It's my birthday weekend too so I didn't want to make it a sad weekend, but maybe I'm slightly mad!,

Maybe chat to your OH and see what he'd like to do. He might welcome the chance to do something to take his mind off it or maybe he would just like it to pass off quietly without marking it , I'd ask him , !

[wheelchairbarbie]

I will be coming up on my 14th year on Feb 9th, 2011, but I actually completely forgot about it last year. I guess it's not that big of a deal to me.

I think, if his anniversary is on New Years, make the most of it! What better way to remember than by celebrating how far he has come and that fact that he is alive!

[LeahC]

Well this year I celebrated my fall out of a window with a fall out of a plane lol xx

[Travelling Blackbird]

There's those who get drunk, those who skydive, those who get maudlin, those who want to forget, those who make sure they do something that reminds them that they survived and are still alive... too many possibilities! Personally, I don't do anything anymore. It's part of the past and there's so many other things to mark during the year.

Ask your fella if he does anything for the day. Everyone's different. Some don't want to think about it, some want to mark it in some way... I don't think there's any good answer to your question since we don't know your partner.

The incident is 7 years old, so he should be fine with talking about it, and if he's got a tradition, it'll be well established.

By the way, and this is just for your information: a lot of wheelchair users don't like the term "wheelchair bound". It doesn't bother me personally because it's just a phrase and I know that it's not badly meant. However, you might come across those who would object to it.

[rue2you]

Let him decided. He will know how he wants to handle it and you just go with and support whatever he wants to do. My 2 year anniversary will be in March and my hubby and I are going on a cruise! I would much rather celebrate what I have to enjoy life with instead of being sad about what I lost.

[wheelinmom]

well i agree with everyone...sometimes i celebrate and sometimes i forget, but since it is a day that everyone celebrates it would be kind of a bummer if you didnt celebrate also, since its your FIRST nye together i think you should celebrate but i think he should be involved in that decision of what to do. there are many different ways of celebrating, just keep an open mind, it will all work out as long as the two of you are together, thats whats important.

[Tasha]

last year for my boyfriends first anniversary we had a huge party lots of friends,family,and old co-workers. it was a blast and he had a lot of fun he didnt have time to think about the accident much i would just ask him plus it being new years there is a lot of fun things you can do.

[RaginTurtleHead]

I try to not think about it at all, my dad usually will make the comment "You know what today is?" As if it isnt permanently imprinted in my memory, as if every day of my life has not been affected by it lol but whatever

[Beautiful]

Today is my 15th year. I dunno what my plans are, other than taking my pup to training class.

Edited by Beautiful, 06 November 2010 - 07:59 AM.

[manda6843]

Hello! I'm also new to the forums so I thought I'd introduce myself here and tag along with your post. My husband is 16 years post-injury, we've been married for about 3 1/2 years, together for roughly 8 years. The way I see it we have a "normal" relationship, I can remember when we started out wondering like you have if the wheelchair would affect anything. Turns out it doesn't. We work well together because we get each other and our personality quirks. So we won't be doing a stair climbing challenge together? Huh, I don't care.

As far as anniversary traditions - when we first started dating he called it his "dark day", one day a year to draw in and reflect on what had happened and where he was now (then?). Anymore it is just another day. We have a life and we don't celebrate it but it isn't something he pulls in about so much. There's plenty of other stuff going on. But that's just my guy. I agree with everyone else, it is up to your boyfriend to decide how he feels about the day and what he wants to do. It's a holiday, it's your first together. Perhaps a good time to start your own traditions? Hope you enjoy it.

[sbrown955]

Hello,
My daughter was paralyzed by a stray bullet from a gang fight. The bullet came so close to her heart (on its path to her vertebrae) that instead of bemoaning the paralysis, we celebrate that she didn't die. We call it her "Not-Dead Day," because the first anniversary, I told her I was so glad she wasn't dead. We go out to eat and to a movie or something, spending the day celebrating that she's still in this world instead of in the next one.

[Trinity]

Mine normally involves copious amounts of alcohol, next year apparently there are (big?) plans, I have no clue what will be involved as it's all hush hush at the moment but I am intrigued!

[Tetracyclone]

My accident happened on our 3rd wedding anniversary, so of course we celebrate in some way. The fact that the SCI happened to us on that same day caused hubby deep reflection at the time- he did not know if i would live, how I might live... on the first day you know only that huge tragedy has struck the center of your life, and you are afraid.

Consequently we use it to reflect on our importance to one another, and on the gift of life, for after my operation when I was so sick I would not have cared to live if he had not been there lending his will to do so.

[jessicamccoy1983]

Well I was hurt not even 1 month after my 14th birthday an on that birthday I ate Chinese food. So on June 8th I get the same thing I had on my birthday then I will talk to family and friends. The rest of the day I'm pretty down and nothing will lift my spirits. It's my day to reflect and to feel how I want to. I spend most of my life being happy an it gets old.

[GoldenYears]

We celebrate every day, pray every day, and are always thankful PawPaw is still with us, still onery as heck, and that we can grow as a family in unity, love and responsibility to him and each other.


We've learned to laugh a lot, not be ashamed of crying, and yes -- our language has also changed to rather salty expressions at times.


Now if I can figure out how to get the laundry folded every day, we could also celebrate that!


See? There's way more to celebrate than the day of the injury.

[1positivethinker]

It's been over 25 years for me, it's just another day in my book...and honestly, I have never celebrated it really, just something I nor my family ever did - but kudos to you for making it a tradition and being so positive about it!!!

[Tinbasher]

It will have been 26 years for me on the 22nd December at about 2.15 in the afternoon.

I have tried not to keep this anneversary but it kinda keeps me.

I already feel the breath of the Black Dog.

Tin

[greybeard]

Tinbasher, on 20 December 2010 - 12:09 PM, said:

It will have been 26 years for me on the 22nd December at about 2.15 in the afternoon.

I have tried not to keep this anneversary but it kinda keeps me.

I already feel the breath of the Black Dog.

Tin

You've just got time to stock up on some of the finest malt to help keep the dog at bay. Good luck, mate.