27 replies to this topic

[mcwriter]

As some of you know, I have been working on a book that I hope to make into a series of books. My heroine in it is a 17yr old girl who is in a crash in the beginning of the book where she loses her parents, is injured at the same time. The mystery unfolds as she is embroiled in a series of life-threatening events involving numerous characters, in a world/setting completely unfamiliar to her.

I have set the timeframe from the crash to where whe finds herself at the beginning of the action at a little over two months post hospital/rehab time. Then in her new and unfamiliar environment, the action begins and takes place over a few days. Because of what happens to her in the action scenes, I needed her injury to be low enough that she can transfer and because of the circumstances of the events, she needs to be able to go to the bathroom on her own, because things just won't be available, including the fact that she won't have a chair available for a short period and I have a couple of spots where she can stand with another person holding her. She does have a nurse, but they get separated.

She goes through not only adjusting to being an orphan, but the adjustment of her body, romance is new to her and she must deal with her reactions to herself, and other's reactions to her both positive and negative, and on top of that the tables are turned and she find's herself the teacher in a situation where someone else has a different but similar problem. She learns to use her head, learns who to trust out of assorted strangers, some good some nefarious, she grows up fast and becomes the person she never thought she would be...a young woman, unselfish, able to trust her instincts, and looking at a new world of possibilities, no longer a victim of circumstance and in control of her own life.

So not only would I like your opinions about the idea, I would also like to know about the realistic detail that you would find acceptable in a book.

The reason I ask is because I would like to present this character in not only a realistic light, but also a positive one, where a person with an sci could read it and relate and not think "Well, that's completely wrong", and an AB person could read it and gain some insight on how they perceive a person in a chair, being more than what they might have thought. The story contains drama, suspense, romance and humor as they untangle a web of secrets & lies.

Both my husband and this site have given me the medical and emotional detail I needed, so I'm not really looking for that. I want to know is how much reality would be acceptable to you to have a believable picture in your head about the character. I don't want my heroine to be a 'watered-down' character.

I am targetting a Young Adult audience with this mystery story and want to be sure I capture the fact that a 17yr old girl in a wheelchair can be relate-able but also heroic in a way that is not tied to her disability....her heroism comes from what she learns and who she is as a person.

My draft and edit is done, however, your opinions are either going to confirm what I have or make for some more tweaks before I start sending it out looking for a publisher. Meanwhile, I have started Book Two.

If you happen to think of some particular organizations I should be aware of to promote awareness or research about sci, please add those too. It would help me to narrow them down to those generally thought of as most beneficial. Pinkcloud suggested the Christopher Reeve Foundation. Anyway, I was thinking of adding a page of info and websites. Let me know what you think about that.

I appreciate your giving this some thought and Thanks.

Edited by mcwriter, 08 November 2010 - 05:33 PM.

[mcwriter]

Okay, there's viewers and no takers?

Come on folks...it's a book basically for teenagers to young adults and probably primarily female.

If you have criticisms about the premise, please say so and why.

Eventually I'm going to put it out there and I will hear both the good and bad anyway, so let me know what you think please?

[Tetracyclone]

JEEZ, mCwRITER! a WHOLE 90 MINUTES AND YOU ARE annoyed there is no response. Shift to some other tasks for a few days and then process what comes in. I am getting ready for an 8:30 am flight to Asia tomorrow and should not even be writing this.

I might on Friday.

[mcwriter]

I know, I know. Was it really only 90 minutes? Okay, that's kind of embarrassing--ha.

I have to let it go and get on with other things, you are right. I have concentrated hard on this project for months and it is difficult to not be doing it in my normal daily spurts as I have been doing!

Have a happy and safe trip, TetraC!

[LeahC]

Any injury can be enough to transfer independently if it is incomplete, if that helps?

[The Black Sheep]

I think it's an excellent premise for a story, and I would personally find this main character personable. One thing I'm curious is if her injury is complete or incomplete, because there are so many different obstacles they would have to face.

There was a movie a few years back I remember called The Bone Collector, which was actually based off of a whole series of books, and the main character was a complete quad. He has this ability to see passed and figure out what most of his co-worker investigators do not. There were some things that I think were left out relating to his injury, and might also be important with a similar character, such as his bowel routines, pressure sores, the time spent in bed, etc. I think these are the unfortunate ups and downs someone with a sci has to face, but it's also something I don't think many people need to know about at great length. Also, I think that with most other stories where the characters are able bodied, these topics really are never a focus.

As for things I think you're putting a great amount of emphasis into - the emotional turmoil of overcoming a huge obstacles. For one, she's now alone at a very young age, and on top of that she has to contend with her paralysis and the mess of problems associated. I think the combination of the two can bring in a few different audiences. Young girls who feel like they don't have much control over their lives, young adults who feel abandoned and then give them the inspiration and hope for love and a normal, if not extraordinary life, despite her obstacles.

Things I might leave out - the unfortunate personal moments such as bowel management and catheters. It's a very important topic, but I think if there were too much focus on something like this, a lot of readers might not quite get it. Things like pressure sores might also fit this category, and I also think they're important, but the reality of something like a pressure sore is that it can make you bed ridden for days or weeks, and the progression of the story might slow. However, if she is a fairly low injury and has her hands and arms, lifting and transferring helps prevent them, so it's believable that these problems may not arise, or at least not be as problematic. I also think a very small portion of the audience could relate to a pressure sore.

Things I think really emphasize the story - emotional struggle. The feeling that something has been taken away from her, but that she's still able to become a teacher or leader with her experience through it. I think this is a good basis for any story, and it makes the character likable despite a physical handicap. She is still the same person, and a stronger one than most, because of it though.

- The struggle to want something that has been taken away, but no amount of effort can bring things back the way they once were. We all at some point want to change things in the passed; to do something differently. In the end, this point is a feeble hope and the real way to adjust is to grow and accept what has happened. Especially because this is aimed at a younger audience. I think it's a very good note to pull through the entire story.

Edited by The Black Sheep, 08 November 2010 - 08:53 PM.

[dom]

wow mcwriter i saw your profile and you joined on the 20th august this year and average 4.3 posts a day! you seem to be keeping these forums almost open almost single-handedly! i am not sure about the book so long as it is'nt Harry potter style i'm getting bored with the endless films/stories, i hope your book will be shorter

[mcwriter]

LeahC, on 08 November 2010 - 07:20 PM, said:

Any injury can be enough to transfer independently if it is incomplete, if that helps?

Thanks LeaC, she is incomplete. During some of the action scenes, she is kidnapped and without her chair and what follows is a series of in and out of vehicles and change of locations while they escape. That is why I needed the character with a low and incomplete injury.

dom, on 08 November 2010 - 10:13 PM, said:

wow mcwriter i saw your profile and you joined on the 20th august this year and average 4.3 posts a day! you seem to be keeping these forums almost open almost single-handedly! i am not sure about the book so long as it is'nt Harry potter style i'm getting bored with the endless films/stories, i hope your book will be shorter

Thanks dom, there's no magic, no paranormal or supernatural stuff, no Harry Potter length. It's a mystery and there is some violence involved, so you could see it is somewhat similar to an action movie type story.

[mcwriter]

Whew, Black Sheep, that was really great!

I agree that the emotional side is more important than the details. So I think I've got it fine in that I allude to some personal things but I do not go into detail about them. It is more like I mention her teenage reaction to some personal things without really saying exactly what they are.

I think you really get what I am going for, especially when you said:
"Young girls who feel like they don't have much control over their lives, young adults who feel abandoned and then give them the inspiration and hope for love and a normal, if not extraordinary life, despite her obstacles."

The message being that you are still you, and you can let the circumstances define you or you can accept and choose to take control of your life and refuse to be a victim of circumstance.


Okay.....let's see what else you guys come up with. This is so helpful!

[sh1wn]

No body poops in books

[Soryfam]

- The struggle to want something that has been taken away, but no amount of effort can bring things back the way they once were. We all at some point want to change things in the passed; to do something differently. In the end, this point is a feeble hope and the real way to adjust is to grow and accept what has happened. Especially because this is aimed at a younger audience. I think it's a very good note to pull through the entire story.
[/quote]


I think this hits it on the head. We all do feel this from time to time. Also, some of the day to day things like idiots who ask you stupid questions, people who park in the handicapped spots, and so on, can be very funny and might be an addition to your story.

Good luck with the publishers.

Sandy

[mcwriter]

Okay, so I have three mentions in the beginning that don't go into detail and the girl simply makes a few remarks in her own head about them. That's pretty much it for the bathroom thing.

Thanks, this is the kind of input I need.

Oh! On top of all of this, she is surrounded by complete strangers, in a strange place right out of the hospital, too, so it only adds to what she is going through because she is unsure who she can trust. A little ways in, her life is in danger, too. Her future is precarious.

Edited by mcwriter, 09 November 2010 - 11:39 PM.

[jenny407]

mcwriter: Obviously I can only answer from an AB point of view. While I think you should really try to make the injury realistic - as you do -, I also agree about the bathroom issues. If you go too much into detail, this will attract the wrong kind of audience (devo-like). You do want to make it realistic, but I would also just allude, as you plan.

I would also focus on the emotional side and the plot itself. At the beginning, do talk about the injury - make it realistic for SCI readers - but not too detailed. As in a story about ABs as well, actually.

I like the whole concept of the teenage girl and the obstacles she has to face, the twists and turns to be expected. This does sound very interesting. Good luck with editing and publishing!

[wheelchairbarbie]

I wouldn't read it, but that's just my opinion.

[mcwriter]

I understand that it is not everyone's cup of tea.

We have gotten past the bathroom thing, so I just want to reiterate the fact that this is a mystery and the protaganist just happens to have a disability and that it is not really a focal point in the story, it is a characteristic.

My intention was to create a profound sense of loss for the main character, she had an ordinary, teenage, no-frills life and then absolutely everything changes for her---she has no family, she is vulnerable because of her injury, she is taken to a place that is completely unfamiliar to her and she has to figure out who to trust because her life is in danger and she is only surrounded by strangers. Her perception of herself changes from victim and pawn, to a person in control of her life and able to think of other's besides just herself.

I can see by that description right there it almost sounds like a downer, right? Really it's not. There are a lot of funny parts, some action and violence and she does actually have to shoot someone to save another's life, a love triangle and a cast of characters good and bad who take up a good amount of the story as you unravel it.

I read comments on here about the movie Avatar which was the spark for this thread, because of the reactions to the main character in that movie and others.

So there ya go. As for the last part about organizations, it was a thought suggested by someone on here and I don't really know anything about that stuff or whether it would be advantageous in any way or not. So far the general consensus looks like "not."

Anyway thanks, this is really helping me out to have both the positive and negative responses.

[S&W Winger]

Just follow the five stages of grief,and go back and forth between them a few times, until she reaches acceptance...

Black Sheep hit most of the important stuff...

I would add that 2 months is really still recovery mode...sheesh it is nearing 2 years for me and I am still not fully healed/recovered, nevermind progressing with rehab...but then everyone is different and if you are making her from pieces of all...still 2 months? I was still on a vent, almost...oh wait, I did almost die again around 2 months in...maybe 6 for her?? Well, she is young...

So, your assumed audience is the teen market? Like maybe a new "Catcher in the Rye?" She is to be a heroine and save the World, or at least her geography? Can you be just a tad more specific without giving away too much?

See? Not walking is really no big deal...it IS all the other stuff that is makes for a lousy Life...but most you will need to leave out, unless you're writing for devos...LOL!

Also, maybe you can also still be McArtist? And focus a bit of all that energy on Art that will open a few eyes...? As in tasteful Artwork highlighting disability?

OOPS! My bad...I see she is 2 months post rehab...still, I was barely able to sit up until I was home about 6 months...oh yeah, this sin't me but a teenage girl, lower injury and oh yeah, YOUNG! LOL!

[mcwriter]

S&W Winger, on 10 November 2010 - 02:31 PM, said:

Just follow the five stages of grief,and go back and forth between them a few times, until she reaches acceptance...

Black Sheep hit most of the important stuff...

I would add that 2 months is really still recovery mode...sheesh it is nearing 2 years for me and I am still not fully healed/recovered, nevermind progressing with rehab...but then everyone is different and if you are making her from pieces of all...still 2 months? I was still on a vent, almost...oh wait, I did almost die again around 2 months in...maybe 6 for her?? Well, she is young...

So, your assumed audience is the teen market? Like maybe a new "Catcher in the Rye?" She is to be a heroine and save the World, or at least her geography? Can you be just a tad more specific without giving away too much?

See? Not walking is really no big deal...it IS all the other stuff that is makes for a lousy Life...but most you will need to leave out, unless you're writing for devos...LOL!

Also, maybe you can also still be McArtist? And focus a bit of all that energy on Art that will open a few eyes...? As in tasteful Artwork highlighting disability?

OOPS! My bad...I see she is 2 months post rehab...still, I was barely able to sit up until I was home about 6 months...oh yeah, this sin't me but a teenage girl, lower injury and oh yeah, YOUNG! LOL!

Good point, and that is one of the questions I have....the time period at the hospital....

she has a low incomplete injury, and in the crash she also sufferes a shattered right knee and a broken right arm, so of course those two things would delay her rehabilitative therapy. She can feel pain in the knee, as it will not bend or straighten easily, and is a real annoyance to her. I am thinking that she did not have any other major internal injuries. She was pasenger by the right-side door in a moving truck that rolled when another vehicle hit them.
Because of how everyone is different, I was really guessing about whether the two months was enough

---but remember this...a bad character has her disharged early, before her doctor would have liked, maybe just a couple of weeks early?

Soooo, it takes 6 to 8 weeks for bones to mend, let's say 8 before the casts come off. Then, she starts her therapy, or torture sessions as she calls them. She was in great health before the accident and had worked out for the rockclimbing lessons she talked her dad into, so she has great upperbody strength.

So with that info, What do you think is a believable period of time for her hospital stay minus a couple of weeks? Like I said, a bad character gets her out. When she arrives at the new place she's pretty independent and there is a nurse who does continue her "workouts"-----these are mentioned and she comments, a little dialogue, but I don't go into great detail because the story needs to keep moving into the main problem for the protagonist that does not have anything to do with her disability.

The disability is a characteristic of the protagonist, it is not what the story is about, you understand.

So what is a better hospital time period?

Edited by mcwriter, 11 November 2010 - 10:32 AM.

[mcwriter]

***I'm concerned that some of you are taking the bathroom thing as way bigger than it is.

I just wanted to know that since I left the details out if it still made for a believable character.

My goal is to make an emotional connection to the reader, to "allude" to a couple of things just so that the change in her everyday life can be envisioned as not so simple as it once was in some areas.

You see, you also have to look at this from an AB point of view, as well, in that people who know nothing about sci have a very limited perception of the life-changes involved. They see a person in a wheelchair and think the whole ball of wax is simply what they see, they have no reason to think beyond that.

The character comments about the fact that some things that she never gave a thought to before, take longer and some seem are like a production to her--I don't say what they are. The fact that she is a teenager adds to her feeling of awkwardness and frustrations in general. Teenage girls go through a myriad of emotions regarding their perceptions of themselves and how they think they are perceived by others. Now add to that the foreign territory of sci to her.

So basically this is just at the beginning of the story, to establish the main character and to take her experience from one point to another, from a profound sense of loss to gaining what she never imagined, that something horrible can turn into something good.

It is NOT written like an account of her injury experience, it's a mystery about how her future is going to turn out, the problem to overcome, what all the turmoil and suspense is about has nothing to do with her disability---the heroine just happens to have one.

Just because we can't see it at the time, doesn't mean things can't turn out good in the end, it just might be that they are going to turn out good in a way you've never considered before.

Edited by mcwriter, 11 November 2010 - 11:31 AM.

[twentieth]

There was a mystery book written and published mainstream about a a male Para who was a detective I believe embroiled in a murder mystery. I read it but cannot remember the title. The book did address his disability. If you can find it, this might be a good comparison on that issue. Also, the Editors in any Publishing House that might consider your book will "edit" out areas such as the bathroom that they know do not work in literature...Good Luck, I wish I had the patience (and skill) to do something similar.

[mcwriter]

twentieth, on 11 November 2010 - 01:29 PM, said:

There was a mystery book written and published mainstream about a a male Para who was a detective I believe embroiled in a murder mystery. I read it but cannot remember the title. The book did address his disability. If you can find it, this might be a good comparison on that issue. Also, the Editors in any Publishing House that might consider your book will "edit" out areas such as the bathroom that they know do not work in literature...Good Luck, I wish I had the patience (and skill) to do something similar.

I will try to find that. Thanks for the reference.

Really, the bathroom subject has gotten blown way out of proportion on here, and I'm sorry I wasn't more clear.

I have three mentions in the entire book, none of which goes into any detail at all.

They are just her reactions and I just wanted to know if that was enough. Sounds like it is.
Thanks, you guys!

Edited by mcwriter, 12 November 2010 - 12:39 AM.

[isobar]

Hi,




Dont know if this is what you're looking for just an idea maybe while she's in lowest of lows she gains some super abilities.... powers of perception, the ability to solve crimes, ability to heal people but not herself and goes on a quest to stop some diabolical plot. She's so focused and in tune with her body she can thwart a knife wielding thug.

[mcwriter]

isobar, on 12 November 2010 - 05:13 AM, said:

Hi,




Dont know if this is what you're looking for just an idea maybe while she's in lowest of lows she gains some super abilities.... powers of perception, the ability to solve crimes, ability to heal people but not herself and goes on a quest to stop some diabolical plot. She's so focused and in tune with her body she can thwart a knife wielding thug.

Thanks, isobar. Your idea is indeed quite interesting. Maybe you should write that one?
It sounds like something for the graphic novel market and could be very COOL.

As for mine, it is already written. I am in the process of what I think will be the last polishing.
I have had a few 'reads' and I'm happy that so far I have achieved that "Gotta know what happens next!" response, even without any supernatural elements.

[S&W Winger]

I am still thinking about a few aspects and will either post or PM when it gels...

[Travelling Blackbird]

The premise is solid, and if handled correctly, could be the start of a good series of books. The challenges the heroine faces sound interesting. She has to deal with various difficulties, dangers and choices, and there are interesting possible outcomes to each of them, which makes it a potential page-turner.

Without having read any of your writing, it's hard to say more than that. You've clearly done your research and you've got a strong protagonist. You've got a good premise. If your ear for dialogue and your second-tier characters are well defined, and if your protagonist shows some flaws as well as strength and heroism, you've got a winner.

Now, a couple of other, more technical comments.

I am pleased to read that you've already realized one of the golden rules of writing: Don't let your research show. Writers have to research the facts for their stories, but there's nothing worse than reading a book where the writer spews facts at you. It seems like you have that under control, and that you will use all that research as colour, rather than detail.

You also have the beats of story-telling down. The sentence "her heroism comes from what she learns and who she is as a person" shows that you know what you're doing.

I'd definitely give the first book a chance if I saw it for sale.

[mcwriter]

Thanks Everyone. I appreciate all the input.

I think we can safely close the topic.

[Wheelsonfire]

mcwriter, on 14 November 2010 - 08:49 AM, said:

Thanks Everyone. I appreciate all the input.

I think we can safely close the topic.

Oi, not so fast.

Lets see what I can do later to maybe give this one a twist

[jenny407]

Wheelsonfire, on 14 November 2010 - 02:14 PM, said:

Oi, not so fast.

Lets see what I can do later to maybe give this one a twist

Poor mcwriter - he found YOU. May somebody protect you now.

(Glad to see, however, that other Irishman found you, too. The writer one.)

[mcwriter]

Well, I believe the bathroom question is settled and will remain as I have it.
I'm going to change the hospital/rehab time to a bit longer. Since it is not a recount of those events, she does make reference to the time period later in a couple of spots.

I am expecting something totally off the wall from WOF, so I await with baited breath, on pins & needles, and teetering on the edge of a chasm with my hanglider at the ready.