9 replies to this topic

[GoldenYears]

As a girl growing up in the country, all our Christmas gifts were handmade. My gifts were always short stories, a different one written for each family member.

This is my gift to all of you. Enjoy!


CAREGIVING, A SHARED DISABILITY


You know you are a Caregiver when you discover you are suffering with memory issues. This disease is peculiar in that it only affects the Caregiver, not the Receiver of Care. Caregivers never forget what they are supposed to do for the Receiver of Care. Caregivers only forget everything else.


Many Caregivers are convinced they've been stricken with some cow disease or some equally awful brain wasting disease maybe a fly brought into the house. Something is up. Now you suddenly realize the dog ran away from home and doesn't want to come back. Even the dog doesn't want to get infected with whatever this is.


This strange ailment will manifest in such ways as the Caregiver forgetting how old they are, where the car keys are, when they last took a bath and wore clean clothes.


Caregivers frequently report eye and vision problems as this ailment progresses. Constipation, and dirty toenails soon follow as do failure to take the trash out on trash day, and paying the bills on time. The Receiver of Care begins to sniff a problem at this stage and will often ask, "how is the money situation doing?" and they will panic when the Caregiver simply stares and says "what money?"


The eye problems usually are the trigger that sends the Caregiver running to the Doctor. Fearing blindness, the MD usually advises them to come to the office right away. The exam always proves unusual. The one eye the Caregiver thought was loosing sight was actually a pair of glasses that only had one lens, the other lens being mysteriously missing and lost. When both eyes are involved, exam has proven the cause to be lenses so dirty nobody could see through them.


This ailment also is known to wipe out an entire year's worth of memories. This is called The Blur stage. This Blur Stage is when salty language develops (as well as plain mean spiritedness) and everyone remembers it except the cussing, hateful Caregiver. Don't worry. You will be sweet again. I promise.


Also during this stage, the Caregiver's bed takes on a life of it's own. Caregivers awake to find their blankets, sheets and pillows scattered on the floor. This can progress to the mattress actually coming off the bed. My sons got me a new mattress during this stage. They figured the old mattress was trying to run away from home like the dog did.


But not to worry. You have no strange and awful brain wasting disease. You have Caregivers Amnesia. At one time I knew what that meant, but now I've forgotten.


And no, there are no evil night demons sneaking up on you at night while you are sleeping, to mess with your bedding and mattress. You are simply tossing and turning in your sleep -- and you don't remember it and you hope nobody else notices.


The final stage before the spontaneous healing from this Amnesia is pretty awful. All you can think about is fearing you are loosing your mind or are going completely crazy. But know this -- some memories will be lost as if someone hit a delete button. You won't even know what you've done with the dirty laundry, but you will know something good is beginning to happen because you've caught yourself laughing again. You haven't done that for a while. What that means is you are well on your way to being nice and human again.


So before this Holiday Season gets stuck in the Blur Stage and forgotten, let me wish you Happy Holiday from the bottom of my heart. And however you choose to spend your Holiday, my hope is it is peaceful and loving! Big Granny hugs to all of you!!

[mcwriter]

Oooooooooooooooooooooh, Granny!

You have hit on every single oddball thing plaguing me....and now....a reasonable explanation!

One contact always seems to go blurry before the other.
The cat has been avoiding me.
I think I have bouts of age inappropriate behavior.
I have to take two sets of keys with me because I kept locking myself out of the van.
I brought clothes with me into the bathroom for after the bath, thinking I'd get another day's wear, only to find that I had grabbed clothes that should have gone into the hamper.
I dread to be asked for something AFTER I've already paid bills and done the necessity shopping.
My husband or kids will bring up things that have been completely erased from my memory from the day before or they'll tell stories, and I discover whole blocks of time are just gone!
I started sleeping on top of the covers with only an afghan that I can't find in the morning.
I often have to retrace my steps to remember what I went into the other room for.
I don't recognize what comes out of my mouth sometimes, the nasty words that are not mine.

A good dose of laughter does indeed make all the difference in the world. A little bit leads to more and before you know it, your convenient amnesia does block out the bad and you only see the good.

Here's to a Happy New Year filled with lots of laughter:)

[GoldenYears]

McWriter, I'm sitting here laughing at your experiences because they are soooo very familiar!!


Sure glad we can laugh and smile about it now! And a very Happy New Year to you!

[qbounce]

My wife:

Went to the grocery store to buy meat, cheese, lettuce and tomatoes . . . .every accoutrement needed for the perfect sandwich, except for the BREAD!

Paid an insurance bill and wondered why the post man kept ignoring it in our out box for several days, later realizing there was NO STAMP on the letter!

The same aforementioned bill, she later couldn't find the check stub for and it was then thought to have been sent out unpaid! But she failed to remember telling me that we'd save $4.00 if she paid via our ATM card, taken directly from our saving account.

I'm sure there are others, but this was just last week! lol

It only appears to have gotten worse just recently since she's gone back to school, taking prerequisites for a nursing program. Her grades are excellent, but her short term memory is taking a hit because of it! haha

Cheers to all the carers and wives , and ESPECIALLY those who fill BOTH roles, out there! We couldn't do it without you!!!

[jenny407]

Wonderful posts.

The same applies to my friend whose husband is an MS patient.

The incredible strength she has developed over the years (after being the 'weaker' part always in their relationship - there's still a typical photo she loves) still surprise us and her family - and sometimes (like in her Christmas mail), it's just as you wrote up there.

And laughter? I do remember times when I was kind of a care giver to mum and husband - and I remember my first burst of laughter after what seemed a looooong time. That was when my soul started healing.

All the best to all of you! And don't forget to take good care of yourselves.

[mcwriter]

"Went to the grocery store to buy meat, cheese, lettuce and tomatoes . . . .every accoutrement needed for the perfect sandwich, except for the BREAD!

Paid an insurance bill and wondered why the post man kept ignoring it in our out box for several days, later realizing there was NO STAMP on the letter!

The same aforementioned bill, she later couldn't find the check stub for and it was then thought to have been sent out unpaid! But she failed to remember telling me that we'd save $4.00 if she paid via our ATM card, taken directly from our saving account."

-------oh my gosh, I have done this,....a bunch of times!

I'm always going to the store, even with the list, and I get home and I am missing an important thing, making the trip pointless!

I don't know how many times I have paid a bill and freaked out because I had forgotten I paid it in a different way than usual, because I found myself in a rush to pay it on time, since I'd nearly forgotten about it in the first place! Ugh!

I try, try, try, to plan these things out and something always happens to gum up the works, and mess with my train of thought. I never knew this was a common thing----Caregiver Amnesia---Now that it has a name, at least I'm not questioning myself--HA!

[qbounce]

Yeah mcwriter, I still have to let Fe know that she is NOT ALONE!!! hahaha

[mcwriter]

Good one.

There is always a mad jumble of things going on in my head that I am trying to keep track of, because of course timing is everything.

I am absolutely lost without a calendar! I've been grabbing extras for free at pharmacies and stores where their are coupons attached, I print them out from my computer both monthly and weekly ones where I can just fill in the info----because I am so paranoid I will forget something inportant!

I figured out to stock up when there are back-to-school sales on spiral notebooks and I'll just use one for jotting down everything or figuring something, or planning how I'm going to schedule things----the nice thing is, it is all in one place and I just tear out the pages I don't need. Then I am not having to wonder where I wrote something down!

I tried the automatic payment thing, and that just doesn't work for me because something always pops up and I have to move things around, so nix on that.

Convenience isn't always convenient.

[qbounce]

She's actually moved things into the auto pay on-line and LOVES the results. As long as the books are kept up to date . . . to each their own, as with anything, I guess. She also uses a daily planner, and REALLY loves setting her cell phone alarm as a reminder for EVERYTHING, from waking up (of course), to getting ready for work, paying a bill, an appointment . . . . you name it and her phone has alarmed off to it. But that doesn't account for bringing the grocery list and STILL coming home with missed items. . . . .

[mcwriter]

Remembered the bread!

Forgot the coffee:(